5 Reasons Why Returned Missionaries Become Inactive
I recently returned from my mission in Layton, Utah. I served for 18 months and heard the many warnings about the danger of becoming inactive in the Church.
I had heard all this before and during my mission, but it was not enough to prepare me for what was to come.
There has been an increase in returned missionaries becoming inactive, and the truth is that most of it has nothing to do with being ‘truly converted’.
There are many factors that influence inactivity, and even leaving the Church altogether. I would like to share with you some of the things I went through on my journey back to God.
1. The sudden change from one environment to another
This point is more closely tied to today’s society than to missionary culture, but it affects everything we do as missionaries.
During the mission, everyone is expected to focus 100% on the work, follow guidelines and work towards goals without falling into the distractions that the world offers.
You can imagine how jarring it is to go through a change from an environment where you were striving to serve others to an environment where you must focus on things you had not touched for a long time such as studies, job search, family problems and the expectations you had to continue with the habits you cultivated on the mission.
At some point, you may feel absolutely worthless for not doing any of the things you learned on your mission or that are expected of you professionally or personally.
You no longer serve people as much, you are not 100% involved in sharing the gospel and suddenly you have other obligations. You feel like you are not taking advantage of every minute of the day with tasks and you feel bad about it.
This can lead you to measure your productivity by a standard that doesn’t fit your reality.
Adjusting back to life after your deployment should be a process that takes as long as you need to feel comfortable with yourself and the new responsibilities you face.
Don’t forget that the mission is a guide for how you can live your life and, as in all things, there must be a balance between your spiritual side and your personal life.
2. Satan
They warned me about the trials I would face before and during my mission. They were right. What they didn’t tell me, however, is that Satan would also attack me after I returned.
We live in a time when Satan’s attacks are becoming more diverse and personal. This is due in large part to the inevitable return of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Satan has had hundreds of thousands of years of experience to develop his abilities and he is using them NOW.
Returned missionaries and missionaries currently serving are fighting a great battle. Satan wants to incapacitate every warrior he can find.
He wants to ruin their lives because they stand in the way of his purpose and his kingdom, so he will try at all costs to retain their souls. Getting them to stop doing the simple, easy things of the gospel is a victory for him.
I fell into this trap and it was because I believed his lies. He has been by my side every day since I returned from the mission, working on me slowly and relentlessly in order to guide me down the wrong path.
Just like me, you too can get up and keep fighting. We don’t have to do it on our own, we have help from heaven at our disposal.
3. Self-hatred
I suffer from mild depression. This, of course, does not mean that all missionaries go through the same thing. This is just my personal experience.
My depression played a big role in idealizing Satan’s lies and finding comfort in the darkness.
I felt hopeless, far from God, and worthless. I can’t blame everything on my depression, but I won’t deny that it played a big role.
I had to learn to deal with my depression in a different way than I dealt with it on the mission. I’m still learning.
However, judging by the increasing number of cases of mental illness, which outnumber cancer cases in statistics, it is safe to say that the majority of young people in this generation of missionaries either suffer from mental illness or have someone in their life who does.
Mental health illnesses have become a common problem in our society that cannot be cured with words alone.
Many people lack self-love and try to cover up their insecurities with unedifying habits. As a result, their body and soul suffer the consequences.
Of course, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to feel God’s love for you. He hasn’t left you, you just don’t allow yourself to be loved.
I had to understand that not serving God as I did on the mission did not mean that He would abandon me or leave me to my own devices to suffer my new challenges alone.
4. Addictions
I had a pornography addiction that I was able to control before my mission with the help of my bishop. It came back full force when I was at my lowest point in life.
Satan was constantly whispering in my ear, “ What’s the point? You can’t improve no matter what you do, no matter what you try, and you’ll always be a lost cause.”
I heard things like, “You are not worthy of attending church,” “You are a disappointment to God. You used to be so strong, but look at you now.”
Pornography was an escape from my negative feelings. I was in a constant cycle of self-loathing. I felt abandoned, and alone and that I deserved what was happening to me.
Addiction can cause someone to stop attending Church out of shame and guilt, but we must remember that it is Jesus who can get us out of the hole we find ourselves in.
He is the light that can drive away all darkness. There is nothing we have done that can place us beyond the reach of the arms of His love and forgiveness.
We just have to turn to Him, no matter how difficult it may seem. The peace that will come to you is definitely worth it.
5. Loneliness
This, of course, again, does not apply to all missionaries. However, when a missionary returns home, the lack of understanding from those around him can be depressing.
There is a silent expectation that a returned missionary will return as a strong, spiritual warrior, it is up to the missionary whether this is true or not.
In my case, I was vulnerable. I had no friends and that played a big role in my church attendance. I still went to take the sacrament, but I didn’t stay for the second hour.
I am proud to say that I now attend Church, despite my history of addictions and weaknesses, but I can see how one could easily walk away rather than accept the help that is given to each of us.
Don’t give up
LOVE YOURSELF!! You won’t be perfect, but you will gain the power to do the small things. It doesn’t matter if you take small steps at first, what matters is that you move forward.
Did you read your Scriptures today? Great!
Wait a second, you only got to read a couple of verses? That’s good! At least you got to read something.
Could you read one more verse next time? Of course! This is NOT the end for you!
There is much we can do to defeat the enemy of our souls. We just have to fight with the same intensity as he does and stay away from what we know will only make us feel bad and miserable.
It is my hope that as you read this you will remember what it felt like to share your testimony on the mission and the reasons why you continue to be a beloved child of God. For Him, there are no lost sheep.
Perhaps the words of President Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles can comfort you:
However late you may think you have arrived, however many opportunities you may have missed, however many mistakes you may think you have made, whatever talents you may think you lack, or however far you may think you have traveled from home and family and God, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink so low that the brightness of the infinite light of Christ’s atonement cannot reach you.
