1. You’ll leave the MTC feeling invincible.
It’s only been a couple of weeks but after teaching a couple of mock investigators you feel like a seasoned veteran and are ready to hit the mission field.
2. You’ll forget everything you learned in the MTC during your first lesson.
Keep your head up. It happens to the best of us.
3. You’ll hear every excuse possible.
Why didn’t your investigator make it to church?
4. Dogs will be a major stumbling block.
These guys are bad news. They will bite you, bark at you, and interrupt lessons.
5. You will learn that wickedness never was happiness.
6. You’ll fall asleep during a lesson and morning studies.
7. Your heart will be broken.
There is plenty of heartbreak during a mission. You or one of your companions will receive a Dear John, investigators will progress and then ask you stop visiting, and your mission president will keep you with a difficult companion.
8. General Conference will rival the Super Bowl.
9. You’ll learn the ongoing struggle of working with members (tug of war).
10. You’ll get sick and call the mission doctor.
11. Your companion will tell the same story or joke at every home you visit.
11. You will pray that your investigators will show up to church.
12. Your life will be threatened.
Avoid people with weapons, drunk people, dangerous places at night, and stealing your companion’s food.
13. You will hypothesize that your future spouse will become more attractive each time you brave the raging tempests.
14. You’ll celebrate while walking away from an investigator’s home who has committed to baptism.
15. You’ll sprint home when you realize it’s 9:27pm.
16. You’ll rejoice when you finish comp inventory
17. You will learn the ancient art of solving the Rubik’s cube and other useless skills (finger snap, phone book tear, throwing cards, bike tricks).
18. You will learn important skills (like knowing when people are lying, people skills, endurance, how to change a tire, speak a new language, be a guidance counselor, be a wedding planner).
19. You’ll be Trunky
20. You’ll promise yourself that you will be the best member missionary when you get home.
And you’ll remember your mission as the best 2 years of your life!