If you’re of a certain age, you’ve probably downloaded (and deleted and re-downloaded) a certain app for Latter-day Saint dating: Mutual. And if you’ve swiped through profiles, you’ve definitely seen (and dated) one or more of these people…
The Glowing RM
Sister or Elder, this freshly returned missionary is desperate to get married but dreading the whole ‘dating’ part. Most of their profile pictures are from the mission. They will have bios that include at least one sentence in their mission language, then will say “Hoping to go on my next mission… and find my eternal companion!” They prefer a first date involving tacos, hiking, or ice cream.
Dead Animal Guy
This is a tried and true country boy, and he has the antlers to prove it. He’s either from Southern Utah, Idaho, or Wyoming. He most likely has the fishing pole emoji in his bio (American flag emojis may appear as well). If you make it past three pictures of him with carcasses, your first date will probably involve a pickup truck and good old-fashioned manners.
This guy/girl is artsy as heck. Their profile boasts beautifully filtered pictures of them in fields surrounded by mountains and tall grass. The ladies will be wearing broad-brimmed hats and bohemian dresses, and the guys will be wearing flannels and beanies. They will offer to take your picture.
For whatever reason, this girl has not gotten over the doggy-ears filter on Snapchat. She may also make a duckface in 1-3 of her pictures. Her bio reads something like, “Buy me Chik-Fil-A and I’m yours forever.” Your first date (surprise!) will be Chik-fil-A. If you get married, she’ll register at Target.
This dude/dudette surfs, loves Disneyland, and appears to be the perfect combination of tan and blonde. Their bios will read something like “Roadtrip to Disney?” or “Beach Bum.” You’ll go to In-N-Out on your first date.
Somehow, this 20 or 30-something has the funds to go somewhere exotic every couple of months. They probably have pictures from places like the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, a beautiful beach, or a jungle. Their bios will be something like “Visited 23 countries” or “Need a travel buddy!” They make take you on a date to a restaurant with authentic foreign food, and you’ll definitely get an earful of stories from all their adventures.
Closely related and possibly overlapping with The Californian and The Traveler, The Adventurer is a free spirit who loves anything that comes with an adrenaline rush. That includes “spontaneous” dates (late night runs to Taco Bell probably), rock climbing, parasailing, skydiving, waterskiing, hiking, etc. Your first date will be an adventure, whatever that means.
This person is different for everyone, but no matter what, (s)he is perfect. After months, even years of swiping, you see his/her pictures, you read his/her bio, and you swipe up! You match! Sometimes it ends there, but sometimes it works out. Unicorns are perfect and elusive…maybe someday, we’ll all catch one.