10 Signs You Just Came Home From a Mission

A Mormon missionary returns home

10.  Your primary language is Spanglish (or Portuglish, or Manderlish, or any other hybrid language)

9. You refer to doing your laundry as p-day

8. You wake up in a cold sweat from not having a companion


7. You can never sing along to the radio (Because you don’t know any of the songs)

6. When you run out of food, you ask their roommates, “Will you allow me to use some of  your milk?”

Eventually you’ll just siphon it from the cafeteria milk-fountains like everyone else…


5. You start your morning by planning out everything you will do all day–in 15 minute increments.


4. You wake up at 6:30 sharp, on a Saturday


3. You can’t wear a t-shirt without revealing the missionary tan


2. You go to give your mom a handshake

1. You refer to your crushes as your “finding pool”

Christopher D. Cunningham is the managing editor for Public Square Magazine and contributor to Third Hour. He loves emphatically celebrating the normal healthy development of his sons Albus and Whitman, writing about the Church of Jesus Christ, finding the middle ground on most controversies, and using Western Family generic brand lip balm. Christopher is a proud graduate of Brigham Young University-Idaho, and a resident of San Antonio, Texas.