Apparently, there are “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” While this post isn’t meant to recommend the movie, which family-friendly reviewers warn contains crude humor, we’d like to apprise everyone of the many dangers of your neighborhood meetinghouse. Here are the top 8 ways to meet your demise within your chapel walls:
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Donuts (blessed or unblessed) contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause heart disease.
7. Funeral potatoes
You are what you eat. What can I say more?
6. Talk anxiety
Thump…thump…thump…combined with those donuts, you’ve really got some heart issues coming.
It happens to the best of us.
4. Jumping off the stage
…without a parachute of course. Remember those days?
3. Playing in the dark in the gym
“Where are you?” “Ouch! There you are!” Every kids dream, every parent’s nightmare.
2. Tripping on a nursery toy
Apparently, the Church wasn’t a party to the 1997 UN Convention banning land mines.
1. Church Basketball