Since we are all unable to attend official fast and testimony meetings in our wards, I have brought you a semblance of one. Here are some of the most common kinds of testimonies that you may hear on fast Sunday, presented to you entirely in GIFs.
Happy quarantining and happy fast Sunday!
Related Link: Snark and Testimony: Hilarious Mormon GIFs
The bishopric member who opens the meeting.
“We will conclude at 10 after the hour.” Oh, wait, “10 before the hour.”
That person who bears their testimony every month.
The crier.
Them:
You:
It’s okay to cry. Some people cry when they feel the spirit. But it’s sometimes hard to understand what you’re saying through all the snot.
The political one.
Them:
Anyone who ever took world history:
In my experience, these are also people who ask the congregation to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance with them. Over the pulpit. In public.*
*Yes this actually happened. I was there.
The adorable kid who loves their family.
*drags stepstool over to the pulpit*
Them:
Congregation in unison:
The “my kid dragged me up here” testimony.
Them:
You:
While they may not want to be up there, they still speak for a long time. Sometimes maybe too long.
That super powerful testimony.
You:
Them:
The soapbox testimony.
Them:
This is generally about sustaining your ward leaders or being reverent before sacrament meeting. Usually, it’s coming from the bishopric member who’s not conducting the meeting.
The recent convert.
These testimonies are the best kind in my personal opinion. We love seeing spiritual growth and a fresh perspective.
The travelogue.
This person is trying to make a gospel connection to their story about visiting Hawaii. For example, this analogy to the celestial kingdom:
Everyone:
So… you just wanted to tell us that you went to Hawaii?
Related Link: Your Testimony Comes With an Expiration Date
The second counselor in the bishopric again.
Thankfully this painfully unspiritual testimony meeting has come to a close.
DISCLAIMER: This article mostly highlights the most un-testimony like “testimonies” that have been given in sacrament meetings. It is meant for entertainment purposes only.
Share your real testimony in the comments.
