“Testimonies” You Hear on Fast Sunday (Told Entirely in GIFs)

3042
A man delivers a sacrament meeting talk-mormon
Sacrament Meeting.

Since we are all unable to attend official fast and testimony meetings in our wards, I have brought you a semblance of one. Here are some of the most common kinds of testimonies that you may hear on fast Sunday, presented to you entirely in GIFs.

Happy quarantining and happy fast Sunday!

Related Link: Snark and Testimony: Hilarious Mormon GIFs

The bishopric member who opens the meeting.

Ill be back arnold schwarzenegger

“We will conclude at 10 after the hour.” Oh, wait, “10 before the hour.”

That person who bears their testimony every month.

I'm back arnold schwarzenegger
I’m back arnold schwarzenegger. Source: Giphy.

The crier.

Them:

Mean girls feelings
Mean girls feelings. Source: Giphy.

You:

Consoling 30 rock
Consoling 30 rock. Source: Giphy.

It’s okay to cry. Some people cry when they feel the spirit. But it’s sometimes hard to understand what you’re saying through all the snot.

The political one.

Them:

4th american
4th american. Source: Giphy.

Anyone who ever took world history:

Confused Mariah Carey
Confused Mariah Carey. Source: Giphy.

In my experience, these are also people who ask the congregation to stand and recite the pledge of allegiance with them. Over the pulpit. In public.*

*Yes this actually happened. I was there.

The adorable kid who loves their family.

*drags stepstool over to the pulpit*

Them:

Thank You So Much
Thank You So Much. Source: Giphy.
Jada pinkett smith by Red Table Talk
Jada pinkett smith by Red Table Talk. Picture by redtabletalk on Giphy.

Congregation in unison:

Awe
Awe. Source: Giphy.

The “my kid dragged me up here” testimony.

Them:

Us open smiling
Us open smiling. Source: Giphy.

You:

Brady Bunch K
Brady Bunch. Source: Giphy.

While they may not want to be up there, they still speak for a long time. Sometimes maybe too long.

That super powerful testimony.

You:

Oh My Gosh Crying by Global TV
Oh My Gosh Crying by Global TV. Picture by globaltv on Giphy.

Them:

Schooled by ABC Network
Schooled by ABC Network. Picture by abcnetwork on Giphy.

The soapbox testimony.

Them:

The Neighborhood by CBS
The Neighborhood by CBS. Picture by cbs on Giphy.

This is generally about sustaining your ward leaders or being reverent before sacrament meeting. Usually, it’s coming from the bishopric member who’s not conducting the meeting.

The recent convert.

Season 1 Showtime by The L Word: Generation Q
Picture by thelword on Giphy.

These testimonies are the best kind in my personal opinion. We love seeing spiritual growth and a fresh perspective.

The travelogue.

This person is trying to make a gospel connection to their story about visiting Hawaii. For example, this analogy to the celestial kingdom:

They can't come to me lisa kudrow by The Comeback HBO
Picture by thecomebackhbo on Giphy.

Everyone:

What Are You Doing Reaction

So… you just wanted to tell us that you went to Hawaii?

Related Link: Your Testimony Comes With an Expiration Date 

The second counselor in the bishopric again.

Running late cut you off by Saturday Night Live

Thankfully this painfully unspiritual testimony meeting has come to a close.

 

DISCLAIMER: This article mostly highlights the most un-testimony like “testimonies” that have been given in sacrament meetings. It is meant for entertainment purposes only.

Share your real testimony in the comments. 

Zoë Holyoak is currently a BYU student, photographer, and writer. Her hobbies include long walks through the ice cream aisle at the grocery store and correcting bad grammar. She is also a proud member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served a mission for the Church in Portland, Oregon.