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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/10/15 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    Yes, by all means, this is no time to be soft. The decisions made during the divorce may last a life time. It is not about being punitive, it is about protecting your interest and the interest of the children. You may love her and feel compassion, but the law (her lawyer) isn't going to measure that when it strips you to the bone because they know just exactly what I said; what happens now may last a lifetime and they want the most. I hate that my own tone had to change from "please try to make it work" to "don't give an inch". It is only from watching others go through this process that I know you'll get the short end of the stick unless you hold tight. You can be compassionate later - literally, you can always choose to help more later.
  2. 2 points
    Hello - my name is Greg Batty and I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints all my life. My wife, Ann, and I have two pretty amazing children who are actually adults now. That's a hard one to wrap our heads around. Just like you, we have had a lot of adventures that we have loved, as well as rough times we are glad to have weathered. Because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we have been able to learn some pretty amazing lessons from all the experiences that combine to make up our personal journey. Because of the Atonement, we have been able to start again when we blew it. Because we know God as our Father, the Savior as our Brother, and the undeniable truth of their teachings, we want to share some of our lessons learned in case it could help to make your journey just a little better. Many of our thoughts and new understandings are on our site at ChooseToDanceInTheRain.com Some of the things we've been working through are some intense neurological issues, my struggle with being Bipolar, and not allowing my same-sex attraction to cause any pain in our family. We've certainly got a lot to still learn, but I can honestly say that in spite of all our problems, we are incredibly happy. Isn't that what the gospel is all about?
  3. 2 points

    What do you think about WoW?

    After I was baptized into the Church, a wonderful LDS woman in my ward turned me on to Postum, and I drank it every day. It was available at any Safeway, but they always kept it on the very bottom shelf and nobody ever bought it, so every jar I bought often had dirty water marks from where wet mops had slapped it when they washed the floors. They stopped making Postum a few years ago, but it still has its own website*, and you can order it today from some specialty distributor who acquired the license and trademark or whatever from Kraft. But it costs $10.50 a jar and $6.00 shipping, so I've never ordered it. I get Pero and its competitor Cafix all the time from Whole Foods. Totally herbal, with a kick and a tang not unlike those of coffee. I can't work without a warm beverage next to me. I have one now, in a monster cup that my coworkers nicknamed "The Jacuzzi." *The notion of Postum having its own website is almost as bizarre as the notion of an online dating site for the Amish. There really is one (http://www.amish-online-dating.com), and if you go there you hear background music of birds chirping, cows mooing, and wagons passing by. The "Quick Search" box allows "bonnets" to seek "beards" and vice versa.
  4. 2 points

    New garments!!!! HELP

    We are giving you practical advice. You just don't seem to be comprehending what we are telling you. The sizes aren't U.S. Sizes. They are sizes set by the church as the church is the manufacturer. If it has been a while since you bought garments, your old size may not apply as sizing and numbering change from time to time. As has been previously mentioned. The ladies at the distribution center are trained in selling garments, including the materials, sizing and any changes. There also should be sizing charts readily accessible to you at the distribution center. Have you looked for those? As has been already stated, the church website has all of this information right there in the section where you order garments. Take your measurements and read the sizing charts. Read the one for the specific type of material you want to buy. Sizing will vary for the different materials, so this step is important. No one here can tell you what size to buy. Take your measurements and consult the sizing charts. That will tell you what size in that particular garment you should get. There is really no other information to give you. You gotta do the work.
  5. 2 points
    Why are you presuming that cigarettes and drugs are absolute nos but tea and coffee are debatable? This is not debatable. That's not to say that some won't debate it. But that's, frankly, irrelevant, because debate does not define the Lord's standards. Prophets do. And where do you get the idea that three glasses of wine a year is, "what most members believe when it comes to alcohol"? You said it yourself, the prophets have declared it a law. It is. There are no exceptions to the core "don'ts" of the word of wisdom.
  6. 2 points

    New garments!!!! HELP

    Again this is why I say, look at the sizing charts on the lds.org site. They run off of inches or centimeters, not any pre-designated sizes.
  7. 2 points

    Republican vs Democrat

    Why some Christians vote Democrat: They perceive that Democrats . . . 1. are more concerned about minorities and the poor 2. care more for the enviornment 3. protect American jobs from foreign competition 4. are more humane in times of war 5. won't deport my family or I 6. will help me with grants, aid, etc. 7. will make things more even between me and the rich 8. respect women and their opinions more ETC. Not saying I agree with any of those...but if someone sincerely believes some of these types of ideas we may fault their wisdom, but we ought not judge their spirituality.
  8. 2 points
    I'm sorry to hear this, Zero. It's a tough place. Please keep in mind this is your wife's decision. You tried your best to make the marriage work. You need both people to work the marriage correctly. Talk to a lawyer. No reason you should be working two jobs to pay alimony while she doesn't work. (Yes, she's in for a hard dose of reality.) A teacher at my school went through a divorce some years' back... and returned to teaching only because she realized the child support and welfare wasn't enough for her not to work. She'll figure it out, poor thing. And poor you. Stay strong in the gospel, but avoid any polarization. We gave our kids full freedom for religious choices. My ex and I could speak for our own beliefs, but never against.
  9. 2 points
    NightSG: I am sorry to be the one to make this suggestion - but there is an old definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over and over again - expecting that eventually the results will be different. Knowing nothing about the current dating climate or your individual circumstance may I suggest that you look at this as a learning opportunity. Think about making some changes to yourself; either spiritually or physically (or both). Please do not think of this as rude because I honestly do not know enough about what is going on - Just that I believe in making changes when what is going on is not working and the fact that the only changes that you can really make have to do with yourself and not others.
  10. 1 point

    The wandering eyed husband....

    I am a newlywed, so my opinion may not weigh much. But I do have quite a bit of experience in what is going on here. From the reverse side. I am the type of guy who will go into a room and survey everything. I look at all the peoples, see who is in the room, male or female. I will look at everybody. If a girl speaks in class, I look at her, same with a guy. And if a person walks behind me or I see something out of the corner of my eye, I look to see what is going on. At first, my wife was fine with these types of things. But after we got married her worries started to take the better of her. It got to the point where I would look up from our shopping cart at wal-mart, and the next thing I knew I was being accused of looking at some girl that I didnt even know was in my line of site. In fact, last night I was looking at soup cans, and I found myself being accused of looking at something (24 hours later I still have no idea what I was supposed to be looking at). I also have been accused to wanting sexual things when I HAVE looked at a girl and admitted it. Allow me to explain what I mean - At wal-mart. I was looking at popcorn, a woman about my age comes and says excuse me, I turn and look at her to make sure I step aside to let her pass. The next thing I know I am being told I wanted this woman. - Then at a restaurant this girl - again my age - was cleaning around my table, I kept looking to make sure my chair was not in her way, and again, because I looked multiple times, I had to deal with a bit of anger from my wife. However, I do the same thing with men my age or not. And older women. And my wife pays no mind. My wife IS DOING much better these days. Her anger is not as big as it was a few weeks ago. She is working very hard to change how worried she gets about things. Building trust in me as her husband. However, the reason why I point out these examples, is because the worry was not helping. In fact things got so bad that divorce became a very real option. I know you will probably never go as far as my wife has in the past. But accusations and worry really build nothing. Wondering and worry and being safe is fine.Even healthy at times. We are born with ability to protect oursleves from emotional and physical harm. But when you worry so much it starts eating you - and it starts to eat the relationship. Dont let this consume you, it wont help. However, if it is something that bothers you so deeply. A great place to open up is in the celestial room, pray about this, but you can also talk to your husband about things there. It helped my wife and I in recent weeks. The biggest thing to build though - is trust. The biggest problems in my infant marriage has been caused because trust issues between my wife and I. I believe trust is something you have to continue building as well. It can be lost or built constantly.
  11. 1 point

    The wandering eyed husband....

    Being married doesn't mean you can't admire the looks of someone from the opposite sex. Being married doesn't automatically put blinders on you.
  12. 1 point

    The wandering eyed husband....

    From a man's perspective... Certain behaviors are hardwired into the human brain. One is movement. Show me a computer screen with thousands of dots, and it will take me a long time to find one dot that has a different color from all the others. But if you start jiggling the dot, my eye will find it in about one-tenth of a second. That's why there's so much movement in advertising. Similarly, human eyes are hardwired to notice certain things, and those things differ by gender. If you're a woman and you want to understand what it's like to be a man, think about how you would notice babies as you go through your day. If you see a baby on the street or in the grocery store your eyes are pulled directly to them and they are very, very interesting. I have heard that women respond to images of babies the same way men respond to images of women. The images are very interesting and your eyes are pulled toward them automatically before you even know what you are doing. Obviously you can take this too far, and if your husband is leering and drooling then I'd say you have a problem. But a simple wandering eye? Par for the course. And... if I may say this politely and constructively... if there are trust issues in your marriage, they might pertain more to the privacy of emails, texts, and browser histories.
  13. 1 point

    Are women's TR questions different?

    You know, it's interesting how the advice is always "be yourself, but change." I've done all of those except learn a language, and still have exactly the same results.
  14. 1 point
  15. 1 point
    While in Nauvoo this past weekend I got to see the new movie titled.....Meet the Mormons. Excellent movie
  16. 1 point

    What do you think about WoW?

    Regardless of how one may feel about the merits of the "big four", since 1930 it has been the policy of the Church that use of them is cause to deny one admittance to the temples. Personally, I can live with this as being similar to the Jewish food rules. Those rules are obsolete in these modern times, but the Jews still observe these rules as commandments as well as part of "Jewishness". Observing the prohibition of the big four is a part of Mormonness!
  17. 1 point
    Since it's time to lawyer up - get the best one you can possibly afford. It makes a huge difference! Sorry things have gone this way.
  18. 1 point
    As others have said she is in lala land. Obviously she hasn't done research on the affects of divorce on children. The life of hard knocks . . . Personally, I think divorce laws are messed up in this country. IMO the filing partner should not have cause to get access to the other's financial resources unless they are divorcing for cause (i.e. abuse, adultery). This would obviously be a no-fault divorce and I think it is ridiculous that she would be able to get access to both children and money simply because she wants to live her life with no responsibility and no strings attached. I think that is a grand injustice that she can divorce no-fault and get access to money. That's called being a gold-digger, I have no respect for individuals who mooch off the backs of others hard work. So yes, protect yourself as much as possible now. This is imperative. You seem like a good guy and while this is going to be extremely rough for you-you want to be in the position that at some point you'll be able to move on.
  19. 1 point
    I agree with most of the advice already given. Ask your branch president, home teachers, friends in the branch, or any other Priesthood holder you feel comfortable with. When I was a BYU student, I was once asked completely at random by a passing girl for a blessing. I gave it to her, because she was my sister and in need of a blessing, even though I never saw her before or later. That's an unusual situation and not one I would necessarily recommend, but it does illustrate the point that you can always ask a Priesthood holder for a blessing when you're in need.
  20. 1 point
    Anytime there is more than one Ward in a building there seems to be lots of finger pointing. We have two in our building and we have blame the other Ward syndrome as well.
  21. 1 point
    You can approach any male you are comfortable with - by phone, or whatever. You want to have relative assurance they are priesthood holders, so as not to potentially embarrass them, but even then, they might find someone for you.
  22. 1 point
    It's stories like this that make me envy single - ward buildings. The ones I've seen seem to have the entire community invested in the building.
  23. 1 point
    Don't discount your voice! Someone obviously needs to speak up so why not you?! Honestly, I've taken matters into my own hands before (and am about to again). I also brought up an issue with the ward council (mentioned the problem, offered a solution as well as my efforts to execute). Things haven't necessarily been followed (I didn't expect perfection but now they know someone's paying attention) but at least I did something and am no longer just sitting there being bothered. The environment is important and has an impact on reverence and the ability to focus on learning (it's even mentioned in Teaching, No Greater Call) so speak up and act (type up some signs!) until others get a clue. You never know how many others have been thinking the same thing and would appreciate your voice for change. Consider it anonymous service! :)
  24. 1 point

    death penalty

    Like this:
  25. 1 point

    Stop dressing so tacky for church

    Definitely an interesting read. I can see both sides of this. I think too much fuss can be made about dressing just so ( a pride issue ) and judging others for their inability to do the same, but I also surely agree that too little fuss can be made to dressing up ( a respect issue). My personal view on the matter is that Jesus would not care so much what was worn, but that he would care that it reflected an upgrade from the norm for the individual. Styles change. That's a fact. What we wear to church now is nothing like what they wore in Christ's time which was likely different from what was worn in ancient Israel as well. What we wear does influence how we think and act to some extent, as such dressing up can serve to put us a more reverent frame of mind. Of course sadly too many people I know only dress up nice to go to the club or staff party.