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@LadyGunnar I faced the exact same thing you did when I moved to my ward. I am 24 and the average age in my congregation is like 80. Most wards have 1 crazy old guy or 1 know it all old guy... we have 20 of each. We called it an old folks home when we first walked in. We also had a similar experience with the younger couples. The “in crowd” or the social leaders of the ward were not very welcoming, we got awkward glances, and only two families reached out to us. We felt frustrated that this was going to be our ward. But we had just moved from Vegas where we had the most incredible ward ever! So after wallowing I’m self pity for a few weeks, we realized a couple things. - In the process of noticing other’s awkward glances, we were actually giving them awkward glances too. - Every ward has that awesome click of people that are always so welcoming. This ward didn’t have that couple so my wife and I decided to be that couple. - EVERYONE has a hard time reaching out to people they don’t know. So we could perpetuate that culture, or break it. We started hosting dinners, game nights, volleyball nights, etc. within a few weeks we were friends with most the young couples in the ward. A few of them still don’t give us the time of day when we try talking to them, but I hold no Ill feelings toward them. Now looking back, the only couples we are good friends with today are the same couples that befriended us when we first move can in. But instead of grudgingly hating on those that don’t talk to us, we are now all good acquaintances and I try to always give some enthusiastic greeting every time I see them. Instead of waiting for that powerhouse couple and the in crowd to reach out to us, we decided to dethrone the powerhouse couple, take their place, take over the in-crowd, and run it as we thought it should be run. And we are pretty much there xD Now of course I make this sound more grandiose than it actually is, but that ultimately is what we are doing. Since we started our crusade, we have befriended two couples that have recently moved in, one of them was actually invited to my surprise party and we had a good laugh at how I didn’t recognize them, then had a blast the rest of the evening. Follow the example of the gadianton robbers and usurp the authority. Kill the king and queen and take their place and influence the sociality of the ward the way you believe it should. Become a story that would be told in

Changing your attitude doesn't change anybody else - including jerks. But it changes how you react to jerks - like it would help you not get triggered by jerks.

I like @Fether's strategy. I've used it too. I've been in a couple wards where the cliques were too deeply entrenched for it to succeed. I'm fortunately in a fantastic ward now and have helped make sure that clique mentality gets stomped on. Hard.

If a move is not already in your plans that "option" is unreasonable. If you are in a ward full of jerks (BTDT) changing your attitude does not make them not jerks.

I looked to see if anyone had mentioned this video yet and it looks like this is the first one. About once a year the Missionaries will give my husband and me a call to make an appt for a visit. We tell them they are welcome to come over for a visit but we let them know a head of time on where we stand with the Church and our beliefs or non-beliefs. They say they will come over but never do. About 2 weeks they called to say they would like to visit and they ACTUALLY CAME OVER. There were 3 Missionaries, one from Utah, one from South Carolina and the 3rd one from Calgary. 🤔 The "Calgarian" was still waiting for his Visa to come through so he could serve in Australia. We did a little bit of "religion" talking, but also talked about guitars (playing musical unstruments in general), paintball and where we traveled to because of paintball. I even mentioned this forum and how there are nice people on this forum and also "not nice" people on this forum. 😉 We covered a few subjects while they visited and they were wonderful young men. Just when they were leaving they mentioned this video. It's all in Aramaic with no subtitles. It's a wonderful video. Enjoy. M.

What foods would you say are required to make a Thanksgiving dinner, and if they aren't there, it just doesn't feel like Thanksgiving? I thought about this a while back and I believe I decided that the minimum necessities for a traditional Thanksgiving, to me, are turkey, stuffing/dressing, cranberries, rolls, some sort of potatoey dish (sweet potatoes or mashed white potatoes), and at least one out of apple and pumpkin pie.

When I was growing up and had no family nearby, that is where we would go on Thanksgiving. Got the open face roast beef sandwich with sour dough bread, mashed potatoes, and fries every time! That is truly a great restaurant

No it is not. Moving is a fundamentally hard thing. Living in a Ward full of jerks is also a fundamentally hard thing. It is clear many people consider both "options" to be unreasonable. If your options are Move, Attend a ward full of Jerks, or rebel against the church (through inactivity or Ward hopping) The last option is clearly the easiest but it is also fundamentally wrong. Moving is a hard thing, but so is developing a Christ-like love of jerks. Those are the Right options available. Of the two I think the later is the better option but to each there own. Every individual has the right to decide which option they wish or which option they think is less hard. If the individual evaluates there personal situation and decides that moving is not an option. That is a choice. That leaves them with the Right options of loving the jerks or the wrong option of rebellion. Nope it does not change them... But if your happiness depends on others you will be miserable all your days. If your happiness comes from following Christ to the best of your abilities then you can be happy in a world filled with jerks.

First step would probably be to go talk to your RS President and tell her you want to be added to the email or text lists or whatever method they use to communicate. There's always a point to being friendly and getting to know people - the point is to be friendly and get to know people. It doesn't have to have conditions of success attached to it for someone to find being friendly and getting to know people worthwhile. Being friendly and get to know people should be a default state of being so that might be one of those things you can concentrate on - don't worry about how people react to your efforts. Just concentrate on feeling happy that you are able to make the effort. Just my 2 cents.

Shabbat Shalom! May the L-RD bless thee, and keep thee; The L-RD make His face to shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. The L-RD lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee shalom. -Numbers 6: 24-26 May HaShem bless you and your families during the new and glorious week.

When I started on this forum some 13+ years ago, I remember being struck (read: irritated) by the very obvious double standard that many list participants held regarding men vs. women. Women were given a pass for almost anything, up to and including adultery, while men were routinely harangued for relatively minor offenses. The attitude going in to any problem was that any complaining female is a poor, put-upon victim, while any complaining male needs to man up and quit his whining, and by the way, given that he's male, he's probably guilty of wrongdoing, so don't give him the benefit of any doubt. I haven't seen much of that obvious display of double standard here in quite some time, except from certain individuals. But I do think there's a constant undercurrent of that remaining, and certainly so in the larger culture. I'm not entirely free of it myself, given how I don't worry as much about my adult sons being in a dangerous position while dating as I worry about my daughter. But then, I don't worry much about my daughter being falsely accused of inappropriate or even criminal acts, yet I warn my sons to steer well clear of situations that might even look compromising. Unfair? You bet. But if I don't want to be like the idiots who scream "Victim blaming!" when a father tells his daughter not to get drunk at a 2am party and run around naked lest she be ill-used, I can hardly begrudge anyone (including myself) for warning their sons to avoid doing things that, while perfectly legal and perhaps even innocuous, risk getting them in an ugly situation. I don't know where it ends. I deplore the double standard, and I greatly deplore the cancer of feminism that so eagerly upholds and spreads that double standard. But you might as well curse the tide for coming in, for all the good it will do.

Yeah, right. A wonderful, magical animal.

We are likely found at a nearby Cracker Barrel

Mashed potatoes... and lots of them. If you invite a member of the Fether family to thanksgiving and you only have enough potatoes for one serving per person, the Fether will leave.

I offer the following thought: As far as I can tell, children are not sealed to their individual parents, but rather sealed within their parents' eternal marital union. My understanding is that the only one-to-one sealing is that of husband and wife.