Leaderboard

Where did you get that picture?! Those are private!!!!

Marriage is always fraught with built-in conflicts. If you and your wife are both reasonable people, you can usually work things out. When it becomes difficult is when there are "core issues" at conflict. What is a core issue for you or her may be very different than core issues for anyone else. If you're going to be serious about a religion, you're saying that a specific way of life is going to be part of your "core". This creates exponentially strained relations when you start having children and have to make decisions on what rules they need to follow as you raise them. The teachings of the Church are designed to make your relationship with The Lord a core part of who you are. Many seemingly mundane activities will have some reminder of our relationship with God. You've indicated that you have learned about our health code (the Word of Wisdom, or WoW for short). But if you ONLY see it as our health code, you've only got part of the story. When I go to a restaurant and I see the list of drinks, I see that there is a section for alcoholic drinks and a section for non-alcoholic drinks. As I see that alcoholic section, I skip over it with a reminder that I've made covenants to my Heavenly Father to refrain from those drinks. It is a reminder that I've chosen a path that is special. And there are several other parts of our religion that are just as integrated into our behavior. Being a Latter-day Saint is not just a few hours on Sunday. It is who we are. And it isn't just about a "social etiquette". It is about developing a relationship with our Savior through constant reminders throughout our lives that we are not simply "crude matter" (as Yoda put it). We are spiritual beings with a higher purpose. It is through constant reminders that we can develop our relationship with Deity and become what we are meant to become. All human beings have this potential because we've all been given a spark of Divinity within us. But we are so inundated with sensory inputs from this mortal world that we forget our divine nature. All these new behaviors you will learn about are about reminding us about our divine nature. If you choose to get married, are you and your wife going to be on the same page about what/who you are? While it is possible (I know some who have made it work) the great majority of the time it becomes too much to strain such a marriage. I once heard a statistic of 1 out of 20 are successful. You need three things in common (technically 4) if your marriage is supposed to work. You need to have a common place of beginning. One reason we have elaborate wedding ceremonies is to provide that on some level. You need to have a common set of values. Becoming LDS has a lot more "value based" demands than you may be currently aware of. You need a common vision for the future. Other faiths + LDS faith marriage have a better chance of working if you're willing to give up the Celestial Kingdom. Completely different faiths + LDS faith... I don't know if I've ever heard of these working out. And if she's atheist... Additionally, what about your children? How will you raise them? (Obvious appendage): You need to be committed to those common values and common vision for the future. A core part of our faith is family. And this implies Temple marriage (sealing) and a hope that all our children will have a Temple marriage. If you marry her at this point, are you willing to give those up? Currently, you may be willing. But if joining this faith is your goal, you'll eventually learn why it is so important. And you'll regret the fact that you've essentially given that up. As with anything this monumental, it is your choice. But at some point you'll realize that something's gotta give. While the very few are able to find a third way, most of the time you're left figuring out what are you willing to give up to gain the other?

If you're interested in kids, something to ponder: If you cannot both agree before marriage on what core truths and beliefs will be taught, expect to see those differences waging war in your children as they grow. You will find reason to mourn such division and lost paths. For each kid, at least one parent will "lose". Possibly both parents, but no fewer than one. Can it still be worth it? Dunno. Folks who have told me stories tell a mixed bag of them. From what I've personally heard, divorce or dead marriages are more common than happy-ever-after stories. But both exist.

NMN, here's a relevant blog post from one of a handful of LDS bloggers that I truly admire (though I don't always agree with Sister Parshall or her approach to topics; I guess you could say I'm something of a Parshall fan). She expounds using the same Eliza R. Snow poem I quoted above: http://www.keepapitchinin.org/2014/03/04/when-you-gather-to-zion/ The blog post itself and the comments that follow ring true to me, though they have a somewhat more negative tone than I would portray. As I wrote earlier, I love Utah. It's a sacred place for me. But if you go there, go in with your eyes open. There are good people in great abundance, but not only good people. There are folks of all stripes. It's worth noting that Salt Lake City is a center, perhaps the center, of antiMormon activity.

FTR, Eliza R. Snow was a sister to Lorenzo Snow, the fifth president of the Restored Church of Christ and a contemporary of Joseph Smith. She was a gifted poet and quite a spiritual person, sometimes unofficially referred to as "the prophetess". She wrote several hymns, at least two of which are in our current hymnal: "How Great the Wisdom and the Love" and "O My Father". The above poem, "Think Not, When You Gather to Zion", is also written as a hymn. It was in our hymnals when I was growing up, but apparently the 1985 (current) hymnal doesn't have it. Pity.

My opinions only, obviously. How long? Now is a good time to be looking toward raising a family. Everything you do (like, literally, every decision you make) should be with that end in mind. As for your girlfriend, personal compatibility between spouses is tremendously important to a good marriage. But it's not the only thing, and not even the most important. Shared values are the bedrock of any intimate relationship, with marriage being the prime example. It sounds like you're a Latter-day Saint. If a girl you're dating, however wonderful, is truly "100% against Christianity", to my mindset that's an obvious dealbreaker. Please note that I am not urging you to leave the relationship. Rather, I'm trying to provide honest and pointed feedback. You cannot and will not change her mind or attitude. Only she and the Spirit of God can do that. If the nature of your relationship with this young woman is sexual, then to be blunt, you are living after the manner of the world. There is no lasting happiness in such an arrangement. You really need to get that sorted out before you will significantly progress in the spiritual journey you want to take. As for Utah, it is a beautiful place, both in nature and in society. I think it's a special place (no sarcasm intended). It certainly was and is for me. But ultimately, it's just a place, and its inhabitants, however friendly, are just people. Do as you feel you are led to do, but don't imagine that going to Utah is like going to heaven. Saints raised in Utah tend to call it "Zion" and everywhere else "the mission field." Eliza R. Snow's urging might have some applicability here: Think not, when you gather to Zion, your troubles and trials are through, That nothing but comfort and pleasure are waiting in Zion for you. No, no, 'tis designed as a furnace, all substance, all textures to try, To burn all the "wood, hay, and stubble," the gold from the dross purify. Think not, when you gather to Zion, that all will be holy and pure; That fraud and deception are banished, and confidence wholly secure. No, no, for the Lord our Redeemer has said that the tares with the wheat Must grow till the great day of burning shall render the harvest complete. Think not, when you gather to Zion, the saints here have nothing to do But to look to your personal welfare, and always be comforting you. No, those who are faithful are doing what they find to do with their might; To gather the scattered of Israel they labor by day and by night. Think not, when you gather to Zion, the prize and the victory won. Think not that the warfare is ended, the work of salvation is done. No, no, for the great prince of darkness a tenfold exertion will make, When he sees you go to the fountain, where freely the truth you may take.

We've been demolishing healthy roles and norms for a long time now. It is not good for society; and this fact can be judged not only spiritually but rationally. We know (because we've measured) that children raised together by their biological parents, have the best outcomes statistically. Level of schooling, work stability, criminality, are metrics most people can agree on. We know (because we've measured, but I'll stop saying this now) that children spending too much time in daycare tend to have worse outcomes. We know that homosexuals have higher rates of crime and abuse among themselves (not from the outside) We know that homosexuals have a higher propensity for unhealthy and disgusting practices, which have little to do with love, as the monkeypox outbreak has re-highlighted. We know divorce is a crazy pandemic at this time which is a shame given the facts about how healthy relationships bless children. We know that birthrates are crashing around the world including in Utah. However rationally someone may desire a population collapse, they have to know that it will be a problem someday. It's a problem which doesn't go away as soon as a country decides more kids are wanted, as china has proved. Peoples minds and hearts have been polluted with misguided selfishness which doesn't stop when someone says stop. We know that lgbt people have more mental health issues, more substance abuse. We know that trangender people have a truly catastrophic suicide rate which is not mitigated by living in a permissive society. We have strong reason to believe that this suicide was not as common before society became sickened with this mind virus. (I mean that we don't think that these people were quietly committing suicide in the past, under the radar. Instead their embracing of the mind virus is actually causing it)

Last year, we spent the Thanksgiving week in a house in south Orem, Utah, where we all gathered with our BYU student children to celebrate. The AirBnB we rented was very large, with lots of sleeping space. It was perfect for our needs. As an added bonus, the main floor bathroom was a wonder. I thought I had taken this picture; it only took me ten months to find it. Behold this bathtub, complete with working shower! Fancy, huh?

I am with you on this. I ha e heard a few things. Genders were first a thing for doctors because... youay identify as a woman but... if you were born with a prostate then you need prostate exams. honestly being genders spell out medical care and such I personally thing they should change it from what gender were you born to... what hormone do you naturally produce. So on your Birth certificate it should now be E for estrogen or T for testosterone. That way it doesn't matter what you wear or how you dress you get x treatment for each hormone type. Also.... I really don't care if you want to become a potato. But I wonder.... if we truly die and become our most perfected selves. I worry for someone who spent their WHOLE life becoming something else to spend eternity as the person you loathed so much you got plastic surgury or got a sex change. I would think that would be someone's own personal hell.... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.... just saying