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  1. My wife @Dollfacekilla and I have been married for 12 years. And this coming Saturday... ...at the Philadelphia Temple... ...we're getting Sealed. ..finally. Just, ya know, thought some of you might like to know
    28 points
  2. So, with some of the topics I have felt a bit of negativity recently (probably on my own part perhaps) and so I thought I'd create a positive thread. In this thread we compliment those we know of in the forum. I'm going to try to give everyone compliments (and if Somehow I miss you, PLEASE, tell me in the thread. It is not due to maliciousness on my part, but I'm a older and sometimes my mind is not as sharp as many others around her. Forgive me for my bad memory and jog it with a post so I can include you). So, I'll start... @JaneDoe I appreciate your thoughtful replies @NeuroTypical I enjoy your snark at times, and though I may not understand it, your little Pony enthusiasm @CV75 I enjoy your willingness to discuss things with people who have questions and your recent posts in the Resurrection thread. @zil I appreciate that you are active on the forums and, though I do not understand it fully, that you are so enthusiastic about fountain pens @BJ64 I think it is great that you pick up on small details and want to help those that are striving to do better @Traveler I appreciate you injecting a more scientific approach at times and explaining things from a more technical mindset @MormonGator I like that someone from a rival team is here (LoL), but I also enjoy that you can relax the forum and spring in some humor when we all get too serious @FetherI think that you do wonderfully at striving to do good, and this is an extremely commendable thing @Iggy I think your staunch support of standards and your desire to help others up is something that is wonderful @MrShorty You seem to be able to navigate the middle ground at times and try to create peace. The Lord said, blessed is the peacemakers. @Grunt I appreciate how you bring up the gospel so plainly and point out how these we should know. It brings us back to how we should be, rather than trying to dodge around commandments. @Just_A_Guy I think you look great in a suit ( hah). @Just_A_Guy I do think it was good you wore a suit, but there is more to compliment you on, just making a joke because I know you can take it. That's what I like about you, you can take all the abuse and still be nice. @Carborendum I think you and I are more alike than we may think at times, and I like how you stick to your guns and your morals. @Anddenex You bring in thoughtful injections into conversations that note that you really think about the subject and consider what is said or not said @Scott I appreciate how you like to go back to sources. You like to check to see where something is sourced and give a source for your comments @Blackmarch You are blunt at times, but we all need the blunt truth to bring us back to reality. @Laniston You have a smaller post history so it is harder to define what I enjoy, but from what I've seen, I think I appreciate your willingness to share personal experiences with the rest of us. @unixknightI enjoy how frank you are in admitting your own difficulties which helps us to understand our own and help prop others up in there striving to be good. @estradling75 I not sure I understand the carebear, but I do appreciate your willingness to share your opinion, even when others may be hostile to it. It takes courage to do so at times. @SilentOne You are exceptional and you speak through listening and only say something when it is important. We all could learn more from your approach. @Vort I love that you stand for something (the gospel). Gordon B. Hinckley instructed us so and it is good to see someone doing that. @Emmanuel Goldstein Not a ton of posts to know you well yet, but you seem to convey a lot with very little. @mrmarklin I like that you are able to converse with those who need advice and share with them in order to help them @pwrfrk I think it is good that you bring us to recognize how blessed we are and strive to help others with your advice and words of peace @theplains Not a long time member, but it seems that you enjoy talking about the gospel with others and I think that is a good thing to do. @wenglund I appreciate how you are normally trying to discuss hard subjects without condemnation or judgement, but rather understanding and hope. @Jersey Boy I think that you are willing to share your feelings in the open which is a hard thing some of us have doing. @Rob Osborn You point out the plain and precious things of the gospel at times. Even if we don't agree with all your opinions, I think it is terrific that you point these things out @NeedleinA You are a wonder to read in your posts. You try to help others on the forums and have some interesting perspectives @Crypto I see you post infrequently but people genuinely like you and your posts here @warnerfranklin I haven't seen you around much recently on the forums, but I appreciate how you share your views and opinions and how thoughtful you can be @Lost Boy I like how you express sympathy for those in need and empathy for others. I appreciate how you can make us think about how others are and how we should be. @Midwest LDS Thank you for how you interact with others and taking the time to listen @Backroads I also enjoy how you show empathy for others and how you, despite your troubles, try to listen. I hope that you continue to enjoy your new job also @askandanswer I find your answers refreshing at times and your injections in conversations interesting @mordorbund Tis an interesting name you have. LotR connection? I think you express your humility at times and I appreciate that willingness @mirkwood Another reference that seems it could be a Lord of the Rings thing? Anyways, I think you try to make things lighter on the forums and make others laugh. @anatess2 I like how you tell it how it is. You come right out and tell us what you think and I feel that is a good thing. @person0 You have things to share with us that enlightens our minds, though you also tend to joke around as well at times @classylady Your name bespeaks for itself. We would all do better if we had as much class as you @Maureen You help us to recognize that we are mistaken in many of our assumptions and point out the good in others @bytebear I find your comments fun to read and at time enlightening @seashmore I look forward to reading your posts and enjoy what you have to say. I enjoy how you share your experiences and your thoughts on things @DennisTate You are another that I cannot say I have read a ton of your comments, but from what I see you are thoughtful and reflect on what you write. @LiterateParakeet Your posts are refreshing on these forums as they try to see the best in people and view the best possible things about others @MaryJehanne Your willingness to share about the Catholic Church is appreciated @Lindy sharing experiences from your life is good in showing us examples and ways to be. @Sunday21 Your enthusiasm is a beacon for us all. Your love for the temple is also something I admire greatly @SpiritDragon You are a wonderful person that seems to be Canadian. @Jeremy A I'm not sure how many have participated in your trivia but you keep on trying and going. You are like the energizer bunny. Perserverance is a positive quality. I'm certain I've missed many, I've tried to include as many as possible and yet I've probably still failed. If so, be aware it is NOT because I don't think you are wonderful, but simply because there are so many names and so many people and remembering them all is sometimes very difficult. I probably forgot some of the closest and dearest ones that are on these forums. I apologize, but if I did miss you, just tell me in the next day or two and I'll hopefully have that to jog my memory. Don't let me be the only one, if you have people you want to compliment on something they did on the forum, go ahead and post it! We should recognize people for doing good!
    24 points
  3. Advise boards always seem to leave us hanging. So...I thought I would give you all an update. In April of 2017 I was excommunicated, and in May of 2018 my discaplinary counsil was re-conveined. I am excited to let you know that I have been authorized to be rebaptised. We haven't yet selected a date, but it should be soon. My marriage is stronger than ever. I feel closer to my children and my relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior is stronger than ever as well. I am very grateful to my Savior, for his mercy and power. I'm grateful for the struggle, it helps us determine where we want to be and affirms our dedication in obtaining those promised blessings. To any that are currently struggling...Press on, it's worth it!!
    17 points
  4. Phoenix310

    I'm not a Mormon

    I'm not a Mormon. At best, I'm a struggling non-denominational Christian. I'm also a person who has done something many non-Mormons won't do. I have always heard so many negative things about Mormons and the LDS. Horrible things that made want to stay clear of Mormons. All my life, childhood, adulthood, in and out church, from everyone including fellow Christian's. Horrible things said about Mormons. One day, servings at my now old church, I had a fellow Christian make a negative remark about Mormons. One remark too many for me to accept. So I asked him, what proof do you have to back up your remark? He struggled, but failed to give any proof. His remarks was based on ignorance and social impressed impression/social acceptence. That was not okay. Facts from learning he failed to have. So this got me thinking that day about what the truth was about Mormons and the howdo I find out. Well, it was days after that some missionaries came to my door. I saw opportunity and it just knocked on my front door. It was this moment where I knew a journey for me was starting. I talked to the missionaries and invested time to learn about Mormons and the LDS. Without any judgement, I gave my desires to learn the truth. Want to know what I learned? ... First, there are endless lies constantly being told about Mormons and the LDS Church. Out of ignorance and other motivated reasons, people tell lies about Mormons. Oh my goodness, the lies I always heard. Misinformed andmisundertood because it is easier to tell a lie than to take out the time to learn the truth. Mormons are good hearted people has a strong sense of family. A sense of family that is stronger than any I've seen from any other faith. A sense of family that can not be compared or equal to any other faith. I was super amaze. I've learned alot about Mormons and the LDS Church. I have more learning to do and I'm not a Mormon, but find myself defending the Mormon faith with an open mind against the lies and insults I hear constantly. No, I'm not a Mormon but I will defend thier faith when I hear lies and insults others say. Why? Cause I have learned the truth about Mormons and the LDS Church and I will not accept anything but the truth. Mormons are good people and always welcome in my life and home. I have more to learn, but I am getting with missionaries. We'll see where my journey goes from hear. Don't need to be a Mormon to like them.
    17 points
  5. I've been on this forum for a while and I've even gotten into trouble a few times. As of late, I haven't been posting very much because, you know, LIFE. But I thought I'd pass along that after 18+ years, I've had my blessings restored.
    15 points
  6. The problem is that our culture is drifting toward the idea that the only way to show compassion and love toward someone is to support every single thing they do. "Love the sinner, hate the sin" is an idea that people are forgetting in alarming numbers. What makes it worse in the case of LGBT issues is that instead of someone's sexuality being an aspect of their personality, it's treated as the core of their being... so if you disapprove of homosexual behavior, our culture interprets that as hating the person himself/herself. "It's who I AM!!!!" It's a completely illogical notion, but one that has taken in a LOT of people.
    15 points
  7. Wow. It has been over 4 years. I had nearly forgotten about this post, but I'm sure some random internet lurkers are bound to happen upon this thread and want advice about their own situation or just want to know how things turned out. First of all, thank you all for the advice. To all the lurkers, there is some awesome advice here. I married her! Never regretted it! We're loving life. Now, a few things that I've learned: 1. She was never the problem. It was always me (basically, I was an idiot). 2. The idea of virginity is just that, an idea. 3. What matters most is that you're best friends. Best friends are loyal to each other no matter what happened in the past. 4. The past isn't real. The present is everything. The future is a dream. My advice, is that if you're in this type of situation, get over yourself. Assuming your significant other is completely loyal to you, if you still find yourself "haunted" by their past then the most important thing you need to ask yourself is, "Can I be the spouse my SO needs?" If the answer is no, then stop jeopardizing your SO's happiness by constantly dragging your thoughts through the nonexistant past. Get out of the relationship for their sake. If you can honestly answer yes, then go for it. You've got an entire lifetime to make amazing memories together. I was taught growing up that it was better to die than to lose your virtue. I disagree with that. I was also taught that those who had lost their virtue were like "licked ice cream" or "chewed gum". That way of thinking is wrong, and it's very harmful. Let go of that type of thinking. It benefits no one. Elizabeth Smart talked about what it feels like to be a "chewed piece of gum" and it sounds terrible: http://fox13now.com/2013/05/06/elizabeth-smart-i-felt-like-a-chewed-up-piece-of-gum/ Don't put your SO through that. If you're best friends, nothing else matters. Best of luck to your SO (and you) if you're in the situation I was in. In conclusion, this image sums it all up:
    15 points
  8. My little boy, my 37 yr old pumpkin, is engaged! I think they will get married at the end of next term. They've been dating 2 years, she's a doctoral student as well - in education statistics, for crying out loud. Petite (former gymnast), a blond Swede to match my son's 20% Finnish background (we got tested). She actually came with me to a church activity. I'd say the two of them are what I understand to be 'dry Mormons.' They like a lot about the Mormon lifestyle, but aren't ready to make the commitment, but culturally, at least, there's a meeting of the minds on modesty, family night, preparedness, homeschooling, the role of the father in the family, etc., which is good. Actually, other than homeschooling, this is pretty much how we lived before I converted. I'm glad he wants to repeat it in his own family, whether he's in the Church or not. She's 28 and ready to have babies (her words), so, perhaps I'll be a nana before they put me in the assisted living facility.
    15 points
  9. The Folk Prophet

    Goodbye

    For those of you who asked for the update, we're having a little boy.
    14 points
  10. Mission Accomplished.
    14 points
  11. Timothy, first off—if I could give you a bear hug, I would. You’re in a unique form of hell that not many parents ever have to go through. Second—I am a state attorney representing DCFS in my jurisdiction. I don’t know the law in your jurisdiction and won’t presume to give you legal advice about whatever mandatory reporting may or may not apply. (Also: yay for anonymous internet forums, amirite? Keeps things much less complicated for both of us if I don’t know where you live.) I will say, though, having sat in on numerous team meetings with perpetrators, survivors, therapists, psychologists, and judges; that neither you nor your wife are in ANY WAY prepared to help either your son or your daughter get through this on your own. You guys are 100% out of your depth, no matter what experiences your wife remembers having gone through. Also, statistically speaking, sex offenders almost never stop at one victim. I hate to be so blunt, but the chances are well over 80% that your son either has already molested others in addition to your daughter—or he’s going to. (That doesn’t make him an irredeemably bad kid or mean that you’ve failed as a parent; it’s just the nature of his psychosis.). The state needs to be involved here. You should also be aware that if the state eventually does find out about this, they’re going to be asking some hard questions about why you didn’t make a report sooner; and that may jeopardize your custody over *all* of your children. Third—do NOT talk to your daughter about this. She needs to be interviewed by a trained investigator/therapist; and unskilled interviewers can do more harm than good from both a psychological and forensic standpoint. Once the report has been made, law enforcement will probably want to take her to a Children’s Justice Center for her interview. It will be a comfortable, home-like environment with toys and soft chairs; and she will probably be allowed to have a support person with her during the interview so long as the support person doesn’t interfere with the interview. Fourth—your son will probably have to leave the home almost immediately once the report has been made. They won’t put him in detention if they can avoid it; so start thinking of extended family members he can stay with who don’t have small children in the home. Odds are that at some point your son will wind up in a group home-type environment for a lengthy period of time, once the full set of psychological evaluations has been completed. He’s got a long road ahead. It’s going to be natural to want to recoil in horror from him because of what he’s done to your little girl; but you need to know that if you do that, you’ll lose him, emotionally. There’s a way for him to come back and be a fully productive, contributing, safe member of society—but without the support of you and your wife, that way gets a lot harder. Similarly, your little girl needs to know that the changes your family is about to go through aren’t her fault; and you need to avoid the trap of having her needs being overshadowed by her brother’s needs. The children’s justice center/law enforcement/DCFS can get you in touch with some folks who can coach you about how to strike the right balance. There will probably be a “delinquency” juvenile court case involving your son that addresses the criminal aspects of what has happened. (Those records are usually confidential, so your son probably won’t have a “criminal record” once he turns 21). DCFS might also ask the juvenile court to open a “protective services” case involving the rest of your family, simply so the court can supervise and make sure that the family follows through on any therapeutic treatment that may be indicated for any of the children. Things are going to start happening really fast for the next couple of weeks, and it will be hard and scary and confusing. But you will get through it. As for your bishop—if this interview just happened this afternoon, then maybe he’s still trying to figure out how to break the news. Who knows? But don’t waste time making him out to be either a crutch or a bad guy—he may well be as flat-footed and bewildered by this as you are; and right now you’ve got bigger fish to fry. The simple fact is that you’re the dad: now that you know the situation, the buck stops with you. Best of luck—
    14 points
  12. In another thread or two, it's been stated that we don't know exactly what went on with former prophets and revelation. We don't know and that it's ok that we don't--sometimes we are asked to go on faith. I'm involved in the Indianapolis Temple open house/tours that is currently going on. As part of the tour, we are letting people know that no photographs are allowed inside the temple, but photos are available on our website. One woman asked why no photographs if there are already pictures available? The sister missionaries turned to me with panic in their eyes and I simply responded, "I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. All I can say is that we are asking that you not take photographs while inside." I think that we are in an information age that can be overwhelming with knowledge. We have so many facts and other information available to us at the touch of a finger. With the advent of the internet, information can be gained instantaneously. But, sometimes we need to be courageous and say, "I don't know." Sometimes that needs to be followed up with, "but I'll find out." And sometimes we need to be satisfied that we don't know something and that it doesn't mean we are wrong, dumb, or secretive. This reminds me that there are some things about the Gospel that I don't understand at all or fully. But, isn't that what faith is for? I have a testimony of Jesus as my Savior, that the church is His church, the Book of Mormon is scripture and Joseph Smith was who he said he was. Everything else just falls under that. So what if my understanding is less than a 2 year old? I plan on taking some awesome classes in the next life and there are gonna be some great teachers.... "Sealings: what do they really do and why are they so necessary? -- taught by Elijah and Malachi." I don't know everything and I'm ok....I need to make that my mantra.
    14 points
  13. It was a great visit. The GA and a member of the Stake Presidency came to visit me. We strongly felt the Holy Spirit, and it's been a long time since I felt it that powerfully. They shared a lot of love with me and it was moving. I feel grateful they selflessly took time out of their lives to visit me. I believe the visit was meant to be. It even worked out to where we had the house to ourselves since I didn't have my 6-year old daughter with me like I usually would since she was at her friend's birthday party with her Mom. Personal experiences, stories and advice were shared in response to my doubts about the Book of Mormon, and as the point was stressed to keep trying, I brought up how I was concerned I might talk myself into a testimony of the Book of Mormon versus accepting it based on truth. The Holy Spirit most strongly manifested itself to me when the GA shared how he had been praying earlier this morning to help even just one person today, and how this meeting was meant to be, and how his assignment to visit my area had been assigned by Elder Ballard. I received a distinct impression as he was sharing all this that it was true and had been orchestrated by God and the Holy Spirit. I plan to stay in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I will continue trying to develop within it. I can't deny how powerfully the Holy Spirit manifested itself to me. I still have many questions and maybe some will remain a mystery to me till after this mortal existence, but the important thing is I feel like God blessed me today to get over my hurdle of uneasiness about the Church with all the mounting questions and skepticism I had about it. I know I have a lot to learn, and even though I'm a slow learner, I'm hopeful to bring others unto Jesus Christ by sharing the kind of love that was shared with me today. I'm taking a new approach starting today. When it comes to the Church, I'm not going to fixate on the things I don't understand. I will focus on the things I do understand and allow God to fill in the rest in due course.
    13 points
  14. Your house, your rules. If he wants to play the "I'm an adult now" card, then he can show you that by being an adult: start by getting his own place and paying his own bills. And that's completely ok. Warning I'm VERY going to be blunt here-- Your son is committing a GRAVE sin. He is taking the scared powers God gave him -- the powers to create life itself and to bond a married couple -- and bastardizing it. Throwing that sacred gift in the mud and treating it as if it was a nothing more than a child's play thing. It is a HUGE disgrace to God, His gift, your son, and the girl involved. And you, the parents, are endorsing it by allowing you to commit such acts under your roof with you paying the bills, etc. In my house, we respect God and His gifts. You don't need to believe as I do (my husband is actually an Evangelical and I have atheists over all the time), but we're going to respect God. I don't care what age you are: we're going to respect God in this house. You want your own rules? Get your own house.
    13 points
  15. He is in Seattle for a stadium-sized meeting, and a staff member invited me to join his family. I figured that, as a chaplain and Mormonhub moderator, I should accept. So, tonight I will join 10s of thousands. Has anyone been to this kind of event? Any thoughts to offer? I'll certainly give my impressions within the next day or two.
    13 points
  16. Updating this: found new job. Loving it. It's technically a longer commute, but goes opposite rush hour traffic as I zip up the freeway or the old highway. All the other teachers in my ward hate me for it. Hours are significantly better, classes are smaller, the That Kid has nothing on what I have dealt with (though is the superintendent's grandson/legal ward so that's interesting), and I feel the school has an actual plan It's nice feeling happy at work.
    13 points
  17. @JayKi, From the time I returned from my mission to Italy, I had an Italian pen pal. She actually was sort of "in love" with me, but after I made it clear that we weren't going to go in that direction, we had a very nice, years-long letter-writing relationship. (This was in the years before email.) Though I didn't want romance with her, I really cared about this young woman. When I married my wife, she objected to my Italian female pen pal. Like you, I didn't understand this attitude. Like you, I thought I should be able to be friends with whomever I wanted, and it was really not any of her business. I mentioned this to my mother one day in passing, and she quickly set me straight. I decided that if my wife and mother agreed about that thing, it was probably myself that was not seeing things right. So I wished my pen pal well and stopped writing her. That's the kind of thing we do to safeguard marriage. The marital state is a sacred thing, and we should sanctify it. Honestly, friend, if this woman's husband doesn't want you seeing her, You Should Not Be Seeing Her. Her marriage to her husband is vastly more important than your friendship with her. Look, you're a smart guy. Be smart enough to realize that when two dozen people tell you the same thing -- two dozen people who, by the way, probably wouldn't find anything else to agree on in a year of conversation -- that means that you are probably the one who's wrong. Don't be prideful, friend. Be humble. Tell your friend you are happy to keep hanging out with her, as long as her husband is there, too. Maybe you can bring your girlfriend/fiancée with you and make it a double date. Just keep it on the up-and-up.
    13 points
  18. Fair enough. I will share my personal story of growth. Wife and kids embarked into things 4-H, and we got chickens and turkeys and stuff. When it was fall, I got the mixed blessing of being sent to the meat processing folks, turn some of our chickens into "chicken". Wife already knew all this stuff, but daughters and I learned. We all cried as we loaded them up. It was a somber and quiet ride back. Wife taught daughters where their food comes from, and we're all more mature now. That wasn't the story - here's the story: The next spring, they sent me again, with more chickens. These chickens weren't culled in the fall. We kept them through the winter. I was loading them up at 5am, shivering in the cold, making sure they would have protection from the wind as I drove to the plant. Because you treat life with respect, and making critters suffer, even if they're going to be dead in an hour, isn't what you do. As I loaded them up, several things dawned on me. First, they'd been in our barn the entire winter, which had been a heck of a lot colder than this morning. That was fine - chickens are just fine pretty much no matter how cold it gets - as long as they're dry and out of the wind. But it wasn't like they were out frolicking in the sun eating bugs. When you're livestock, winter is something you endure and live through - not something you particularly enjoy. It's a law of reality. It also dawned on me that these chickens had been perfectly ready to go to the processors last fall, and they had endured the winter because I had NOT taken them to be processed. That was the personal growth I'm talking about - these critters were born to live and then die and be food. It was their nature. Their God-given purpose. It dawned on me that these tiny-brained feathery critters understood this better than I did. I anthromorphized a discussion with them when I got back. Wife: How did they do? Me: Just fine. They weren't happy with me though. Wife: What do you mean? Me: They kept calling me fat boy. They said "It's about dang time. Wake us up early to take us on a drive that should have happened last year. We were cold last winter, fat boy." I learned about stewardship over the earth and the creatures that crawl upon it that day. I learned about the law of the harvest. I got no better way to explain it than this. If you still don't get it, maybe it takes actually raising something and killing it to teach this lesson. The firefighters did right by the piglets, and the farmers did right by the firefighters. To have let those piglets die would have been unethical. To expect the saved piglets to be anything besides pigs, would have been to ignore the law of the harvest.
    13 points
  19. Today was lawn-mowing day. Husband wound up having to stay very late with the client. I was playing with my girls in the yard, musing about a recent desire to learn how to use a lawn mower after watching some 9-year-old girl with the sturdiness of a stalk of celery mowing the lawn. So... I pulled up a PDF of our lawn mower's user manual... and I mowed the lawn. I feel so empowered.
    13 points
  20. Dear Little Linda's mom, Thanks for your note. I love having Little Linda as a student and I think she's a great kid. I understand your feelings and respect that you want to feed your daughter healthy foods. However, I'm her teacher, not her mother, and it would be both inappropriate and against school policy for me to bring her snacks. But feel free to send Little Linda to school with her snacks; she will be allowed to eat them at lunchtime and at other appropriate times during the day. If you want the school to provide food for Little Linda, the school lunch program is the way the school discharges that duty. My understanding is that the school lunches are nutritious and pleasant. If you have concerns about them, please feel free to discuss that with the administration. The principal can be reached at 987-654-3210, and by email at [email protected]. Thanks, Little Linda's teacher
    13 points
  21. Vort

    Help... LoC

    In all honesty, get a different boyfriend. This one cares nothing for you personally, your goals, or what you are trying to achieve. If things are as you say, he is not worth your time. Talk to him once more, just long enough to say "Goodbye, good luck, and never contact me again", then begin your new life as a disciple of Christ who does not have a creepy boyfriend. Sorry if this sounds unChristlike. I don't think it is. Sometimes we have to do the hard thing, like tell a "boyfriend" that he is no longer any such thing.
    13 points
  22. Some of you may recall the announcement a while back that my wife was expecting. For those who like baby news or those who have been wondering my lovely Mrs. SpiritDragon invited our little spirit dragon-whelp into the world Friday night. Our newest addition is a little girl. 7 lbs, 12 oz.
    13 points
  23. My son got married this weekend. Of course, the folks at church who are his age have been married 10-15 years, but better late than never, I suppose. We had rain, but it stopped for the outdoor wedding and every time we had to do something, so that worked out (big shout out, HF!). Now for the grandkids!
    13 points
  24. The subject of one's excommunication should never be a part of a Relief Society lesson or a Sunday School lesson.
    13 points
  25. 13 points
  26. Apologies for having been away for a few months. I am back--and back to my original calling. Many of you know that I retired from federal prison chaplaincy in December 2022. For the past two years I've taught secondary Bible and US History at a local Christian school. Beginning a few months ago I sensed God drawing me back to chaplaincy. I checked with the state DOC (WA), and there was a position at the women's facility. God opened the door, and I start full-time, beginning tomorrow. So prisonchaplain is a prison chaplain again! 🙂 I figured that this was also a good time for me to return to thirdhour.org, say hello to old friends, and perhaps even make a few new ones. -- PC
    12 points
  27. Well hello there! I'm Ashley! As the title shows, it has been awhile since I have been on this site. I joined back in 2014 and posted only 1 thread. That was almost 9 years ago! However, I am coming back and how time has changed! When I first created my account, I had just moved to Pennsylvania from Illinois. Gotten married! Started a new job 1 month after I had created my account. It is really amazing how much things can change in 9 years! Last year, my husband and I moved to Western Kentucky where we now live nearby his mother! I am also an hour and a half from my family in Southern Illinois. I started a new job after working for 8 years for Amazon! But probably the best news of all............ After 10 years of investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints........ ..............My husband and I were formally baptized and confirmed into the Church on Sunday, February 5, 2023!!!
    12 points
  28. It's Thanksgiving Day, so I figured I'd announce that, yes I am thankful for the nearly 23 years the LORD has allowed me to serve as a prison chaplain. Alas, mandatory retirement is fast approaching, and I prayerfully put in to do so at the end of this year. Next steps likely include my continuing as a volunteer pastor and transitioning to my first love--teaching. It's not yet certain how that will look, but I am convinced that what lies ahead will be even better than that which is passing. Oh … and no, I'm not retiring from here. Mercy has its limits.
    12 points
  29. It will be next year that my wife and I will have been married for twenty years. Hopefully our marriage sealing will be sealed by the Holy Spirit in the next life if we continue faithful to life eternal. We also now have just reached one full gross year of income saved for in our emergency fund and retirement combined. Please share any milestones or goals reached if you wish.
    12 points
  30. Old first, new second. My goodness!
    12 points
  31. dprh

    Membership in the Church

    https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2002/04/the-gospel-in-our-lives?lang=eng I just finished listening to this talk. It is often true that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Since I've been excommunicated, I've begun to realize all the things I took for granted as a member. I wait with anticipation until I can take the sacrament, pay tithing, serve in a calling, even say prayers in church. If you are able, please participate and enjoy these blessings.
    12 points
  32. Fixing someone's suicidal thoughts with premarital sex? Yeah, no, not the best idea. "I tried everything else but nothing worked" - her problems are not yours to fix. They are hers to fix. If I were you, I'd postpone the wedding, read a bunch of books on suicide, attend some premarital counseling sessions. I would not marry someone with unresolved suicidal issues - it's not fair to either of you.
    12 points
  33. zil

    Wish Me Luck

    Tonight I started the application process for enrolling at BYU-Provo (continuing education, evening classes). Now I need to go get interviewed by my bishop and a member of the stake presidency. My application to Brandon Sanderson's workshop class is ready to go, along with my writing sample (thanks to an excellent reviewer here - you know who you are - thank you). Submissions (for the class) will be accepted starting later this month. Assuming BYU lets me in, and I'm selected as one of the 15 lucky souls who get into the class, I will be well on my way to being a professional writer. (If that doesn't happen, I'll have to hobble on my way without the help.) Feel free to share your own hopes / good fortune in this thread.
    12 points
  34. So, first I will say I made a wise choice going with the staff member and his family. It was pretty easy to blend in, and being part of a family going made it feel much more natural. There were 49K plus in attendance, and a repeated theme, even by a couple of the speakers, was the unique privilege of being able to see and hear God's prophet in person. Other common themes were the privilege of the restored gospel, the powerful witness the Book of Mormon offers (with reference to the Moroni promise, as well as James admonition to ask the Lord for wisdom), and the power and blessing of temples (with their covenants and sealings, etc.). As for styling, the feel was that of the old church--dress up, piano and organ, and order of worship clearly laid out. President Russell was impressive in his energy, his conviction, and the clarity of his message. There was a good blend of classy, yet comfortable. I may not have a testimony of several of the unique doctrines and claims of the church, but it is now much easier for me to understand why so many find strength and comfort in the church, the community, and from its teachings.
    12 points
  35. One reason, is because until the covenant is made, there isn't a covenant in place. Up until that moment, either party is fully able to back out of the deal at any time, with or without reason. And it happens.
    12 points
  36. The big question mark, of course, is what does "doing more" mean? Where does the rubber hit the road? I do like @Sunday21's idea of having a glass partition between the clerk's office and bishop's office. But that said, windows are to ecclesiastical sex abuse what banning AR-15s is to gun violence: They are solutions geared towards a statistically-insignificant subset of the problem. Most abusive ecclesiastical leaders aren't doing the nasty with female congregants right there in their offices. Bishop's case is a statistical outlier, but even his alleged assaults didn't happen in his regular office; he had apparently set up another room for his use. And as the administrator of what is essentially a small-sized college complete with dorm rooms, if the administrator wants a place for his rendezvous . . . he's going to have the power to set that up. He just is. So, what changes are we really looking at? So far, those leading the outrage seem to want changes in the power/relational dynamics at play; and to this end I've seen advocating for five major changes: 1) Every allegation is to be believed--not only in dealing with the victim on a therapeutic basis; but in dealing with the perpetrator on a punitive basis; 2) Alleged perpetrators are to receive formal LDS discipline forthwith, with the victims being made aware of the results; 3) ecclesiastical leaders should receive no special deference within their congregations; 4) ecclesiastical leaders should not be interviewing congregants on a one-on-one basis; and 5) ecclesiastical leaders shouldn't be talking about chastity issues with youth under any circumstances. Without going into too long of a rant; suffice it to say that I think 1), 2), 3), and 5) are nonstarters; and I think the ultimate resolution of 4) is that it's going to need to be determined by individual bishops on a case-by-case basis. Also, I agree with @The Folk Prophet . When Ms. Park says that "One of the biggest issues in our community is how the faithful and the non-faithful interact. It has been an issue that has long-since plagued our people"--well, ma'am, it's a faith community. Traditionally when one chooses not to have faith in the community's truth claims, one elects not to remain in the community. The issue is that Mormonism's "faith community" has worked so well, from a socio-cultural standpoint, that it has accrued a lot of sociological bling that the disaffected don't want to give up. So they make a concerted effort to get the overall faith community to abandon its truth claims and replace them with a faith in sociological riches attenuated to left-wing social justice theory; never stopping to wonder whether they may be killing the doctrinal goose that's been laying all those culturally golden eggs. But then those pesky "True Believing Mormons" push back on the grounds that a) they sort of like Mormonism the way it is, and b) they're pretty sure God does too. And the disaffected completely lose their cookies over the resultant impasse. They hate us; they honestly hate us—with a depth incomprehensible to those who haven’t been subjected to it; and with a justification incomprehensible to those who have been subjected to it. What Ms. Park (who, by the way, is one of the head honchos over at the "Feminist [anti-]Mormon Housewives" blog) is really saying is, "I'm not going to let this crisis go to waste. Not only am I going to push for changes that are going to make Mormonism "safer"; but I'm going to push for ways to convert Mormonism from a religion to a social club."
    12 points
  37. The Holy Spirit of Promise has to ratify any sealing that is performed in the temple in order for it to persist in the exalted world, and He won't ratify that which is not in accordance with the desires of the consenting agents and God.
    12 points
  38. Since I have been investigating the LDS church, members (and you lot!) keep telling me that something will happen and I will feel the spirit and things will change. As most of you know I like things to make sense, I like to study things and gain knowledge and understanding of truth that way. I know that is not how most LDS members come to find the truth of the Book of Mormon. Anyway, for all of you who know someone like me, PLEASE get them to read this very simple article currently featured on this website. https://mormonhub.com/blog/faith/defending-the-faith/book-of-mormon-hoax/ I actually cried while reading it. I don't know if I have a complete testimony for the church or all its teachings, but I know one thing. Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and the Book of Mormon is true. Thank you all so much for helping (and putting up with) me. I feel very happy and full of hope. Now I just have to save my husband!
    12 points
  39. zil

    Squashing doubts

    While waiting to see if anyone has a similar experience, I will tell you something which in my experience is 100% true: It does not matter whether your decision was right; make it so that it is right. Don't fall for the modern-world nonsense of "right person". You, as an agent to act, can make it so that your decision is the right one. You can actively do things so that you love your husband deeply now, are committed completely to him now - beyond doubt, and are happy together with him now. This will be easier if he works with you in compatible ways. Tell the doubts to take a flying leap and then get to work making your decision the right one. This is far, far better than any alternative.
    12 points
  40. Urstadt

    Sealed today

    My wife, a recent convert to the church, and I were sealed today to each other and to our 4-month old son. She was still a recent convert when we were married in 2013, so after prayerful consideration, we decided on a civil wedding. 22 months later now, the eternal marriage is complete. I love the gospel so much. The beauty and truthfulness of the gospel serves as protection to us in such a polarized world. I am grateful for the guidance and protection the gospel and Priesthood authority provides us, both temporally and eternally. I just wanted to share something positive and testimonial on here. Thank you for the opportunity to share it.
    12 points
  41. A little bit of a story with a happy ending to share-- For me, the most difficult part about being in an interfaith marriage is not the non-member husband, but handling the evangelical mother-in-law that comes with him. When hubby and I started dating, MIL was a huge fan of me… except for my “Mormon problem”. Needless to say religion has been a rocky subject. To learn about Mormonism, MIL signed up for a class on the subject at her church, entitled “Mormonism and the Evil Cults” (or something like that). She got a lot of bad information, and doesn’t really listen to what I say because she honestly thinks I’m brainwashed and hell-bound (roll eyes). Though, to be fair to her, I haven’t been perfect on the issue (like not inviting her far enough in advance to baby girl’s blessing). Anyway, the purpose of this post is to celebrate: last night we chatted and had a great discussion sharing testimonies. I learned a lot more about her and feel that she learned a lot more about me. Not only did she not stone me for sharing me testimony, she liked it! I’m still kind of in “wow” shock…. Just wanted to share good news with you all J.
    12 points
  42. Hi Ruthiesmom - I can understand being thrown for a loop by some of the newer stuff that's out there. That said, I do think there's good scholarly evidence out there that leaves room for belief. Given the way the Church has traditionally told its story, there may be some preconceptions you'll have to leave behind--but be careful not to throw out the baby with the bathwater. What factors led you to have a "testimony"? Have those specific factors really changed? Generally speaking: Fairlds.org is a good apologetics site; so is JeffLindsay.com. Joseph Smith's polygamy is covered in-depth by Brian Hales' website at josephsmithpolygamy.org. FARMS/Maxwell Institute has some good info; so does MormonInterpreter.com. Lots of folks here will also be happy to discuss your concerns, with the caveat that you'll probably see a better response if you open a new thread specifically dealing with each concern as opposed to simply creating a "laundry list thread" and continually shifting from one concern to the next (makes it easier to stay on topic). :) Pres. Uchtdorf's advice to "doubt your doubts" also has some merit. Be sure to ask critical questions of those who are asking critical questions. For example: 1. Why is it so much worse if Joseph Smith translated most of the Book of Mormon through one magic rock (the Chase seer stone) as opposed to two magic rocks (Urim and Thummim)? 2. Why would Smith bother to develop an Egyptian Grammar/Alphabet at all, if he knew it would be useless in translating any other Egyptian texts that might fall into his hands and might actually be used by his associates to constrain or undermine any future translations he might produce? 3. Why did some of Joseph Smith's most bitter detractors nevertheless maintain that Fanny Alger was, in fact, sealed to Joseph Smith? 4. If William McLellin's report was correct that everyone--or even a critical mass of attendees--was smashed at the Kirtland (not Nauvoo) Temple dedication, then why did McLellin--by his own account--try to conceal the visibly drunk Samuel Smith from the view of the rest of the congregation? 5. Mormonism has a reasonably coherent theological rationale for why requests for some miracles--even when made via priesthood blessings--can go unanswered. Can atheism produce any secular rationale for the miracles that do happen, other than the same "frenzied mind" "anyone-who-disagrees-with-me-is-mentally-ill" psychobabble that Korihor was spouting two millennia ago? Anyhow . . . by all means, study it out; but remember that nobody discusses Mormonism without bias. Those who claim to, are lying. Be willing to admit what you don't know, and beware of anyone--inside or outside of Mormonism--who claims to have easy, pat answers for anything. And, don't buy into the idea that you Must Do Something Right Now. You've lived the lifestyle. It's not a bad one. Your kids aren't being secretly introduced to cocaine, or groomed to participate in someone's harem. Nothing's going to happen with your kids inside of Mormonism for the next few months--or even years, if that's what it takes--that won't be substantially reversible if you ultimately decide your conscience requires you to leave. Take your time, do your research, fast, study, pray, and when you feel ready--make a decision and stick with it.
    12 points
  43. I have not said anything before because it is your choice, (and I can respect that) I had no real practical experience to offer, and all the generic things I might have said had already been said. But with this post I feel I have something to add. When you asked about having your name removed I figured/guess/assumed that you wanted to cut off all contact with the church more or less permanently. Removing your name is the way to do that. But this post sound like you are more interesting in maybe taking a break and then trying to start over? Removing your name for a reset or starting over is like setting off a bomb when you want to remodel your house. Sure it can gets you a clean slate, but it is much more extreme then is really necessary. If you are looking to come back (maybe) at a future date then there are less extreme methods to do that then to have your name removed.
    12 points
  44. My apologies to the site...I've been gone for quite a while because I thought the site was going to close. I felt prompted to come tonight just to make sure, and it appears that all is well and active. So, as a brief update on me...I retired from prison chaplaincy in Dec. 2020, and am now teaching civics at a Christian school. I look forward to reengaging. PC
    11 points
  45. Vort

    BYU - Call to Arms

    He literally just said he was not. If you refuse to take his words at face value, why should you expect to have yours so taken? I heartily disbelieve this. For the past 25 years, I have raised my family on one unimpressive salary (and sometimes no salary for months at a time) in one of the more expensive markets in the nation. We did not live in a huge house. We had three boys sharing a triple bunk bed. We never ate out. When we took the occasional vacation, it was to someplace within a day's drive. We owned used vehicles. And despite whatever failures you may assign to my efforts to provide for my family, we were and are happy. On one income. In the Seattle area. So no, I don't buy the weak excuse of "we HAVE to have two incomes just to make ends meet!" For every family who makes that claim truthfully, I can show you ten who simply live above their income.
    11 points
  46. She was arrested for trespassing. The park was closed, she failed to leave. Cities and counties have the authority to close their parks.
    11 points
  47. Should we also de-canonize D&C 135? IMHO our God is big enough not to get His nose out of joint just because, every now and again, we say (or even sing!) that a particular prophet did a pretty good job. And frankly, if anything the modern Church probably downplays the significance of Joseph Smith’s life and ministry; as well as his role as the head of our dispensation. There are already several restorationist churches that throw Brother Joseph down the memory hole, and we don’t need to be trying to occupy that theological niche.
    11 points
  48. Translating this into English, we get: "We've broken it short of intercourse, but don't want to face that fact." IMO, go see your bishop(s) who can help you understand the seriousness of it. Perhaps right after you go get a civil marriage to ensure you don't sin further. I have also found that a detailed study (which is not the same as "reading scriptures", and which includes pondering, note taking, and more pondering) of something you think you understand will give you greater understanding.
    11 points
  49. Woah this thread just took a turn to a whole new place ?...thank you everyone for all your comments. I never intended this to become a war, just trying to get more insight into a practice I’m not familiar with. I have gained a lot of insight. I will be sealed to my husband whether he is sealed to his ex because no matter what I want to be with him for eternity. God will take care of the rest. ❤️
    11 points