amylynn

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  1. dds_wifer, First let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. Each loss is unique and difficult to deal with, and recurrent losses are especially hard. My advice to you would be to give yourself time to grieve. In whatever way you feel necessary. Do not let people pressure you to "move on" or to "forget about" your baby. However early (or late) you miscarry you are still losing your baby. Also remember that people will want to comfort you and say kind things, but will almost always say something stupid. Try to remember the thought and not what they actually say. The best thing I think anyone can do in this situation is to talk about it! People will want to hush hush this subject and sweep it under the rug but women need to express how they feel. I did this through my wonderful husband. Every time I felt sad when I saw another baby or a pregnant woman I would go to him and ask him to just hold me or listen to me cry for awhile. HE understood this was just something I needed to get out. Also I found a miscarriage forum to talk to other women who were going through the same thing. This is also very helpful when you are trying to get pregnant and after you get pregnant. Both of those experiences are changed by having a miscarriage. If you want to visit the forum I use the link is Miscarriage ? TTC ? Pregnancy ? Family ? Relationship Support • Index page the forum is a little slow but the women there are wonderful. Also if you ever just need to talk to someone and feel that no one understands the pain that you feel, please email me. Women after a miscarriage often feel like the pain is eating them from the inside out and no one else even remembers that it happened. I hope you and your dh have good luck in getting pregnant again. My prayers are with you. Amy [email protected]
  2. It is a subject that touches most families eventually. Especially LDS families where the rate of having children is so much higher than the world at large. I wasn't aware that you could start your own group on here. I'll take a look at it. Amy
  3. Mychildrensmother, Thank you for your comments. I'm so sorry for your losses. This isn't an easy thing to talk about but sometimes I think the real problem is it's not an easy thing to listen about! I know many mom's are willing even eager to talk about their angels but find no one receptive to listening. Which is sad because talking about it is a form of healing. Family members are often eager for you to "move on" and to be back to normal and are not open to listening. Thank you for your response. I'm sending you a PM. Amy
  4. Thank you for your kind words and sharing. I'm so glad that your wife had you and a supportive ward to help you through that difficult time. I'm especially trying to reach out to women who don't have that kind of support with this project. Too many women are going through this alone, or feel that they are alone because family does not know the best way to support them. It helps so much to be surrounded by people who love you and understand. If you feel comfortable I would love to email you more information on this project. If not, I understand. These stories are so personal and emotional. Thank you for taking the time to share and my sympathy to your wife. She's lucky to have you. Amy
  5. Thank you everyone who has emailed me. I so appreciate everyone's interest and willingness to share. If any of you have questions please feel free to email me with them. And I am still looking for stories if you know anyone who might feel comfortable sharing them. Thank you so much! Amy
  6. Ray A, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. I'm sure at the time it was not minor at all. My daughter died a week before I was induced to deliver her, I know how hard it was for me to carry her around that week. Wanting her to still be with me but knowing she was gone. It evokes some very tender, and painful, emotions. Every loss is significant and important. Would you be willing to write down you story for the project I'm working on? If you'd like a little more info before deciding I can email you a page with more on the book and suggestions for writing the story. Thank you for sharing, Amy
  7. RSS, I am so sorry for your losses, and very grateful you are willing to share. I am sending you an email with more info about this project. Also, thank you for the book recommendation. I've never seen that one so I will be on the lookout. Thank you, Amy
  8. Whoa! There's a lot of opinions about this topic. I'll just add this: I have a best friend whose 115 and tiny, but it's because she has an illness that doesn't allow her to gain weight. She does not exercise and eats the highest fat diet I have ever seen! Due to issues with my thyroid and other medical problems I am a little overweight despite eating a very healthy diet and exercising constantly. IF you put the 2 of us side by side I'm sure most people (including most of the posters here) would point to her as the healthy one. You can't look at a person and say, 'They're overweight, they must be lazy french fry eating pig!' First, it's none of your business why they look the way they do, but you don't know anything about them. Weight gain and loss is way more complicated than many of you give credence to. I hear many people who are overweight, or very underweight, express the wish to wear a sign around their neck that says "Hypothyroid...not fat!" or whatever the reason may be. So from a person who once was on Weight Watchers for 3 months, never cheated, ate healthy, exercised daily, and still gained 7 lbs....let's follow church/prophet/scriptural counsel and not judge each other. Amy
  9. Thank you Morning Star for your reply. I'm so sorry for your loss. Any miscarriage is a loss, even an early one. I've sent you a pm with a couple of questions. Amy
  10. Charley, Thank you so much. I would love to get some of the men's viewpoint. If your husband would be willing he could include a brief description of what it was like for him. If you want to you can send your story straight to my email address... [email protected] .....that way you don't have to post it here. I'm also going to need to send you a release from for you to sign. If you have any questions or concerns let me know. Amy
  11. Thank you so much. I've felt a strong prompting to do this project, but have really been at a loss of how to accomplish it. I appreciate any help I can get. :) Amy
  12. A couple weeks ago I posted the thread ..."For those who have experienced a miscarriage"...as I am compiling the stories of LDS women and miscarriage. I've had good response from younger women who have been through this but I would like to include the stories of some older women who went through this also. I know people who tend to use forums are usually younger and I'm not sure how to get the word out to other age groups. If you know someone, mother, grandmother, older sister, aunts, or friends (young or old) who have had a miscarriage and you feel comfortable asking them will you give them the info and see if they're interested? I'm kind of stumped on how to gather stories from all over the world and all age groups and this forum has been very helpful. Here's the link for the original post with more info. If someone would like more info but is not a computer person I would be happy to call and explain more personally. http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/9635-those-who-have-experienced-miscarriage.html Or you can email for more info [email protected] Thanks in advance for your help! Amy
  13. Charley, The format of the book I'm writing is like you've made a really good friend who knows nothing about your history, and you are sitting down to tell her all about it. The format others are using is loosely like this: A little bit of background info (it doesn't have to be specific and we won't use your name if you feel uncomfortable with it). The story of your loss(es). How you coped, what worked, and what didn't. Who helped you the most, and who who wished had helped more (or less) :). And finally what you learned, emotionally, physically, but most importantly spiritually. And what you might tell a sister who is going through this now. I want each story to be in the Mom's own words and feelings. If you want to be anonymous we will change all the names. I'm so grateful for you being willing to do this. You've (and I) had experiences that can help other women who are struggling, lost, and losing faith. I feel so strongly about reaching out to other women who are suffering this loss and lifting them up. Amy
  14. I think it's sad when MEMBERS of a faith (not the religion at large) spend more time bashing other people's religion then practicing and preaching their own. I hate when I see commercials of businesses who spend the whole time telling me why their competitor's product is bad. If you want me to buy your product tell me why it is GOOD. Amy