CTR4life

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  1. Thank you guys, I just got a call and the police told me that they have found my nephew!!! I have always believed in fasting and this time I didn't so much so I prayed and fasted so I could recieved more faith and the desire to again believe, even though i haven't gotten the faith I used to have, I know HF loves his children and he loves me too and answers prayers!!
  2. AMormomforObama and Dark_Jedi Thank you so much. I have always been told that if you dont pay fast offering you just went hungry.
  3. Hello everyone, I have come to the forums many times and I have found knowledge and encourement. Now I come here for help and some guidence... I haven't gone to church for at least 6 months or so and I have felt o.k about it, but for family matters I fasted yesterday not the 24 hrs but 23.3 so today I want to fast again. My 15th year old nephew dissapear 11 days ago and we don't know anything about him so I fasted so we may know where to look or what to do, while fasting I felt closer to HF and good about it also with the desire to have faith and hope in my heart. Now I feel the desire to fast again even though my body may not feel great. If I fast and don't pay offerings is just about going hungry??, I have been told so. Is just that I dont go to church anymore. So means that if I dont go to church HF doesn't listen my prayers or see my sacrifice at all? I feel so desperate my nephew is missing and I want do everything in my power so he can have the blessing he may need now, Please any advice and prayers will be welcome.
  4. When I moved to Canada I look on facebook for lds ward in the city I wanted to go, and i found a place!
  5. I'm happy for you, I guess in my mind I kind of made up a fairy tale and if he doesn't fits in it, I become a bad person. My husband doesn't believe in HF anymore and it is the most important thing for me, it hurts me that I don't share this with him. What are you saying is that, I close my mouth when mean things want o come out, right? :) But do say only the nice ones, right? :) I want to build him up, so I will start to be nice again.
  6. Thank you Traveler, I do try to be supportive with my husband but if I said "I know you can do it" my husband says, "you do know that and neither do I" I used to said, "lets trust HF and He will guide us" he didn't said anything and just ignored me. He gets kind of mad when I try to confort him with words, so (it's not an excuse, since I know what I do is wrong, and didn't know that I was doing it) I started to bully him. ** Thank you, I have forgotten, who I am, also still do not know where to find me again but always when I do what HF wants me to do, it gets better and better. You are so right, thank you again.
  7. I always could be honest with him, he never judged me, he was always there for me, besides that he is really caring, he has alot of good things, you are so right about that I focus more on the nots, and about that I don't find him atractive is not physical but more about his personality, he has change so much that, he is not even close of what he used to be. As you suggested I need to start changing, I want to respect him and love him madly, I'm not used to fake anything and my honest side comes first, but he is worth the effort and I'm going to try until it feels natural :) Thank you for your advice!!
  8. I’ve been depress for at least 1 year but later it’s seems deeper but I do fight it. Last night my husband told me something that made me think of my behavior towards him, I don’t remember why but he said “You have made clear all the things that you don’t like about me” his voice was kind of sad so, I started to think and I realized that I have lost all respect for my husband, in my eyes he is not handsome, smart, funny, fun to be around, good to have a conversation with, spiritual, sexual, or sexy, handy, etc… see, I can name whatever he is lacking according to me and I pointed out. I know he is in a depression but some how in my head doesn’t matter. So I see my husband as a loser in almost any way even though he is a good husband, good in helping sometimes when I ask, but somehow that doesn’t seem enough for me, so I guess pointed out the things that I don’t like about him hurts him but never said anything, seems like he doesn’t have a voice. He does always whatever I want, I’m the leader; he doesn’t have an opinion of anything, not ideas, not plans. Sometimes when I mad at him because whatever he didn’t do, I want to punch him, scream at him but I don’t do it, I get frustrated and keep quiet, he then start doing whatever he was suppose to do. I’m mad at him because I’ve been isolated from friends and sometimes family, because of his dislike of talking to people and because some of them find him rude in a passive way. I want to change my behavior and learn to accept him in the way he is. I don’t know how to accept that he is not the man that I know he can be or what him to be. I know he knows how I feel about him and I don’t want to hurt him anymore. Also I don’t know how to deal with depressed people. Please any ideas, counsel, help!
  9. A few days ago my husband and I were watching “The Box” the movie at home and he started to complain about it, but in reality he wasn’t complaining about the movie but of God, (he claims that he is not sure that God exist, he can not accept or deny his existence because there is not prove either way, he says.) Anyways the message of the movie according to what I understood was about, choices and if we made the good choices we will come to heaven, so my husband just said, “if someone out there who claims to have total power of everything wants us to be perfect, why he just doesn’t makes us perfect? I think is just stupid” Those words were so painful to me cause I do know by my own experience that God loves us and wants us to grow closer to Him, but I try to pass the fact that my husband doesn’t believe but started to feel really sad at how he reacts and says things of HF. I keep fighting for my marriage but feel like I’m losing myself in the way, I can’t tell anyone this things because they are prompted to criticize him, I’m not longer have friends and my family is away, sometimes it feels really lonely to be married. If you have any advice for me, please share it.
  10. I’m sorry for your situation, I’ve been in something very similar but just a few months after we got married, anyways, coming to this forum has helped me a lot, contrary to you I was so willing to give up on my marriage because all the pain, confusion and loneliness I felt at that time, my husband was willing to let me pay tithing if that made me happy but at the same time he didn’t want me to do so, so I recommend you to stay strong as some people said, for me it’s being really a big deal that I can handle some times, I no longer go to church, it became hard to me because my health at first and then the embarrassment of being alone at church and everybody asking for him and listening to some critics of him plus I went to my bishop’s and he told me that I should consider divorce, my husband it’s not a bad person at all, he is a great husband but unsure of what to believe, he does not longer believe in God so if your husband doesn’t believe about the church, you should encourage him to pray together and read the scriptures, I really miss that, if your husband still believes in God use that connection with him and he may believe again. Before I went on a mission, 2 months before my departure time I got a job where I had a lot free time and a computer available all the time ( I was a secretary) and searching for some mission experiences I felt into an anti-Mormon web page and at first didn’t know it was and anti Mormon page but I started to doubt some teachings and then more and more till I was doubting if I should go on a mission, the time was coming so close and my doubts were bigger and bigger, I didn’t go to my bishop or anyone else, what I did was that I prayed harder and read the scriptures more, I was faithful at my spiritual experiences and counting all my blessing because I knew HF listened and the HG was real, so even though I had doubts in my head, my heart was telling me something else so I went on my mission, I mostly had doubts about JS but also had answers from HF that why He would answers if what I was going into wasn’t his work?? Example, after I sent my papers I prayed that I would go anywhere that he wanted me to go, but that I would like to go to south Mexico (I’m from and living in Mexico) or north USA and when I was thinking about north USA I thought about Washington state and asked Him to send me somewhere in Washington, I know it sounds silly but I was just being honest, so when I received my papers I was shocked that it was in WA state. So obviously He answer my prayer because is not that I was exactly sent where I wanted to go but because at that time being sent out of the country wasn’t likely to happened, for some may be a coincidence but for me it wasn’t, so I wasn’t given up for some info I founded and made my head a mess, so I went and in the few weeks in the MTC they showed us “The restoration” the movie and I felt so clear and dear the HG confirming that JS was a true prophet of God I started to cry my eyes out and served with all my soul and heart. Some info we find on the internet can be really hurtful but I we don’t lose our faith in God we always can come back and be filled with knowledge from High. Ask your husband what he does or doesn’t believe of the church, ask him if he ever felt the Spirit and help him to remember all those great feelings that came from HF, how willing he is to keep being a man of God, make him doubt of his church doubts with love and patience. I feel for you and your situation, I’m sorry.
  11. Martain, Thank you so much for taking the time and helping me with it, I haven't thought how to aproach members and this are great advices, but since Mexicans are more pushy haha it will take time for them to realized that I dont want to talk about it but sure they love me and since I don't have parents they are really protective and caring which I appreciate. Thank you!
  12. Hello all, (it's kind of long) The last 21 months in which I've been married, I've had the most challenging times in my life not that my life has been easy but different, my spiritual life it’s been decreasing at the point that I’m not longer active at church, not reading my scriptures or praying in a daily basis. I’m somehow losing myself, I guess, I’ve convinced myself that being “happily married” is enough for me to be happy, I’ve come to this forums before and in my last posts I’ve been encouraged to keep it up in my marriage and stay firm and faithful but even though all my attempts to do so have failed and now I find myself missing and wanting that life again which makes me want to get out of my marriage. (My husband does not longer believe in God or anything that it can’t be proved to exist.) So I was going to church and always being asked about my husband and it became a pain to excuse him or explain the situation and then somehow I found myself doubting about God but couldn’t there is so many pleads answered and many many blessings and guidance that I couldn’t deny or pretend that those were mere coincidences, but I was sick and then I put a lot of excuses to skip church also every time I went after coming home it felt a weird and awkward sensation around me and my husband, and then went 2 months ago and my bishop talked to me, he asked me in detail my relationship and my spiritual life, so he said, (since I got married I have thought getting divorce endless times) as a bishop I can not tell you or suggest to anyone to get divorce BUT if your spirit is falling and walking away from God, you better consider it and think about future babies without the gospel. I got really mad about what my bishop told me, my husband is a good one and cares for me and blah blah, so I stop going or even considered going to church, because I feel lonely and frustrated and judged. So a few days ago, I had a dream, it was a blurry one, and in it I was surrounded by men but not just men they were as I could felt on my dream great lds men and I saw a big picture with some phrases that I can’t remember but it brought to me a great desire to have a spiritual life as I was always wanted and was preparing to it but since that dream I have felt the hole I was trying to cover up, now I find myself wondering, what I want in life, if I want to stay away from God and married or single with Him. I don’t want to try to change my husband, I have respected his decisions but he is a big influence on me even though he doesn’t try to convince or keep me away from God. I was reading some posts and just wanted to let go all the thoughts I have, I know it is easy just start going to church but I know I’ll be asked about why I haven’t gone and then I will get overwhelm by so many people talking and asking about my life and husband. It is a bad thing some times to be really familiar with the people in your ward for 15 years, sometimes is not that easy. Please if you want o share, or give advice, I'll be happy to know about it.
  13. Welcome!! So if you have any question feel free to ask. Hopefully all your questions will be answered. Welcome again!! :)