State! Not DC. Hello! I thought I'd out myself as a fairly new lurker to this forum (been here for a couple of weeks, just registered a couple of days ago). My name is Jenamarie (duh), please do not shorten it to Jena. I'm a 26 year old SAHM to two wonderful toddlers, Raia (3.5) and Errol (my 4th of July baby! turns 2 this year). DH is George, who also registered at this site, but as far as I know hasn't posted yet, but may post in the future. I'm currently wavering in my Testimony. Some days I feel like I've got a firm grip on it, and other days I wonder how in the world the church could possibly be true. It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past few months. I'm reading the BoM and Jesus the Christ (I don't suggest reading them simultaneously!), and also have Preach my Gospel that I study on occasion, I visit the Temple when the opportuniyt arrises, and I downloaded General Conference onto my MP3 player to listen to at the gym. I'd say I'm doing just about everything "right" in searching for a Testimony, and yet I fear getting down on my knees to really pray about it. I've prayed for help in finding an answer, but have yet to pray FOR an answer. Mainly my fear revolves around my family. What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true? What would happen if I were to leave the church? My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith? Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone? Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion? Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight. I'm glad I found this site, because I love that there are non-LDS people here to give other viewpoints of doctrine and scripture. I've been drawn to learning more about other Christian faiths, to see if any of them have the ring of truth for me. The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. My Testimony of that is solid as a rock, so finding the knowledge He wants me to have of Him is my central goal of this whole quest for a Testimony. Wow, that was longer than I meant it to me. If you've made it this far congratulations! I hope to get to know more of you as time goes on. :)