mattai

Sharpie...haha...depending on where you live there are all-age 31+ Single Adult Wards and/or activities for 40-something Singles or 40s Friendly SA activities. Feel free to join the LDS 40-something Singles of the World facebook group as a good start with links to such wards. LDS 40-something Singles of the World Facebook Group Also what you are you doing to help your local singles scene? Maybe there are other 40-something Singles in your area who feel the same way, and would appreciate someone like you reaching out to them. Maybe you can start unofficial 40s Singles Restaurant Dinner Groups or Game Nights or other activities that are easy to plan and then go from there...

Wow, such negativity....So being single means you're a "failure"? I guess being divorced too is a "failure" too. Therefore being married is a "success"? Such black and white thinking. Are there other means in life to determine if one's a sucess or a failure besides one's martial status? Perhaps in the Seattle 5th Ward, it's a little different, but most other Mixed Midsingles/Family Wards not only serve 30-something Midsingles who graduate from the YSA scene, but newly divorced single parents in their 30s and their children too. I never get the "I'm a failure" vibe being in these wards. Quite the opposite. Active Midsingles are the ones who haven't given up and are still active and serving in the Church to build the Kingdom in ways that marrieds can not. Our Bishop refers to us as the "Sons (and Daughters) of Helaman", brought in to strengthen and support others. All of us have our own timetables, and while I agree Midsingles tend not to date with other in same ward, if other stakes also their own Mixed Midsingles/Family Wards and had occasional joint regional Midsingles activities, you will see more dating and marriages with other Midsingles.

No, Traditional Midsingles Wards are typically for 30-somethings only (31-40), or for singles ages 31-45 for the three Midsingles Wards in Utah. Single Adult Wards however, are for ages 31+, meaning 31 to 101. But often most "31+" Wards have no one under 40 or 45 attending so they are really 45+ wards, like Emigration 2nd Ward. For the OP Monument Park 19th Ward (31-45) would be a better fit. Stake Presidents, then Area Seventies and then the First Presidency approves it. There are over 20 such Mixed Midsingles/Family Wards are over the country. Here's the outline again that spells it out. LDS Midsingles The mixed Midsingles/Family Ward approach is the direction more areas are going towards to better serve the needs of 30-something Midsingles.

To the OP, Emigration 2nd Ward is NOT a Midsingles Ward but a Single Adult Ward 31+, that really is a 45+ ward. For a listing of all 30-something Midsingles Wards, Midsingles Conferences, Midsingles Wards, and local Midsingles groups, there's the LDS Midsingles of the World facebook group with over 3,000 members on it. Here's the link LDS Midsingles of the World | Facebook (You need to join the group and then click on the Info Tab for the list) Also a growing trend in many areas, is to have a Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward, where all 30-something Midsingles within the stake, can all attend the same existing family ward together. Here's the approved Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward approach which spells how such wards work. LDS Midsingles Blog

There are three new Single Adult facebook groups that all SA reps and Singles should be aware of. Please share these links with other singles in your area. For 30-something Midsingles, there's the "LDS Midsingles of the World" facebook group which lists all Midsingles Conferences, wards, dances, and local Midsingles facebook groups. Login | Facebook There's also the "LDS 40-something Singles of the World" facebook group which lists conferences, dances, wards geared more towards the late30s/40s crowd. Login | Facebook And for the listing for the rest of the Single Adult Conferences that are technically 31+ but draw mainly 45+ crowd with a 30-somethings attending, there's the "LDS 50-something Singles of the World" facebook group. Login | Facebook So using facebook and joining these groups as a launching off point is a good start. Also try LDS LinkUp - LDS Community Network - The World's Largest LDS Social Network (it's free).

Do you ever consider driving an hour or an hour and a half to nearby YSA Wards, to meet other guys outside of your stake? Madison WI, Iowa City, IA and Rockford, IL all have YSA Wards and activities. Plus all these areas have facebook groups and email lists to keep you informed on activities. Since you chose to attend a school with few LDS guys around, and if you really want to date, it's up to you to make the effort and visit other areas.

Captain, now everyone can find out their ward schedule by going to www.maps.lds.org And two, lesson discussions totally depend how well they are taught by the teachers themselves on a ward level. Some wards have great and open discussions, comments, and dialogues, while other wards are totally lacking in that department. Hope you find a ward you feel comfortable attending. Good luck

I was diagnosed with CFS back in 1999 and recovered in 2006. Mono-type symptoms that never really went away. I know with most auto-immune illnesses that there's also an emotional component too (like depression, or some childhood abuse or truma) that the emotional pain is triggering physical pain. So focusing on the emotional side of things through counseling, may also alleviate or ease some symptoms. I'd also recommend keep moving, keep exercising even if you don't feel like it. Even if it's a slow walk around the block. For me, going to the gym has helped a lot.

No offense here, but I think it's misguided for single women in the church to assume that Prince Charming is right around the corner ready to swoop them off their feet without any effort on their own. Sometimes women need to look themselves in the mirror, and ask these questions: Do you present yourself in a way in your appearance, your attitude, and/or in your personality that gravities the guys your way? Instead of waiting for guys to make the first move, do you ever start a conversation, ask someone to dance, or even ask someone to a date? Are you living on your own (with roommates) or do you still live at home? More guys are apt to date women who are independent than still living at home. Do you have "a life" with hobbies, interests, and other things that define you as a person than being someone who's "waiting around to get married"? And do other people and guys sense that as well, so they initially feel you have something to offer? Of course, this list goes both ways for guys and girls. But perhaps focusing your frustration on truthfully answering these questions and having an action plan to move forward may help you feel more empowered and less stuck wondering when you are ever going to get married.

That's why here we invite the older YSAs (27-30) to attend our 30-something Midsingles activities, so someone in their late 20s can socalize with guys in their early to mid 30s, and to help with that transition out of the YSA scene. Also, some areas (like my stake), don't allow YSAs to attend the YSA Ward until they are 21 so the 30 year old is not dating someone who's 18. They encourage YSAs ages 18-20 to stay in family wards but can attend YSA dances etc.

Sounds like this 29 year old daughter needs to attend more "Midsingles" activities to find guys in their 30s, than her hanging out in a YSA Ward where most guys in their late 20s typically go for women in their early to mid 20s. In fact I can direct her to the Midsingles scene in the Boise area if she's interested.

I think from a single guy's POV that some guys are immature. But at the same time, there are a lot of external factors that hinder guys from "moving on with life". For example, in the past 10 years, college tuition and other expenses have skyrocketed above inflation making it more difficult than ever before to complete your undergrad degree in 4 years. Now it's more like 6 or 7 years on average to complete your degree with all the added coursework that some universities require as well guys sometimes going only part time since that's only what they can afford. So if some RM didn't start school because he had to pay for his own mission by working full time when he was 18 and 19, and didn't start until he was 21, finishing his degree at 28 or 29 is not out of the norm by today's standards. Meanwhile, a lot of women start school full-time right after high school often with parental support (more so than RMs), so women in the church (who didn't serve their own missions) have at least, on average, a 3 or 4 year head start with schooling and their careers. That kind of economic imbalance between single guys and women in the church, puts pressure on a lot of guys feeling that they have to finish school before they can seriously begin dating. So some single women feel the guys "are not stepping up " and "honoring their Priesthood", meanwhile some guys lose focus and give up to ease the pressure of inadeqancy they feel, so they go inactive, or don't try much to "move forward", or feel they can never be that perfect provider. Guys thrive much more on praise, encouragement, and understanding than being brow-beaten by a lot of the single women I see on LDS blogs, in YSA and SA Wards, and also by local church leaders. Just think how many more active LDS guys there would be if such an attitude of praise, encouragement, and understanding in the church actually exists?

Back to the OP, Beef, have you considered it's not about the "lack of guys", but more about where you live? Have you ever considered moving somewhere else where there are "more guys"? There are active single guys in the church all around. In fact where I live, there's always more single GUYS at activities than single women. Most single women around here don't appreciate the LDS guys at all. And these are good guys with testimonies, "jobs", etc, etc. But the problem around here is that most women will not date a guy useless he makes over 100K, drives a BMW or Mercedes, owns at least a $500K condo or house. Period. So with that, I know so many good LDS guys who would love to get married to LDS women, end up marrying non-members who appreciate them more.

The problem is if you invite everyone, then no one really shows up. The number one reason why 30-something singles don't want to go to some 31 to 101 dance is that someone that's their father or grandfather will be hitting on them. From that, most 30-something singles will be never go again to a 31+ activity. This issue is more than choosing to socialize with. Right now in the church if you are a 30 year old YSA and active (RM, went to BYU, etc), you have a 50% chance of going inactive by the time you turn 34 if you don't have 30-something only activities and all you have are 31+ activities. 50%!!! Obviously the current system is NOT meeting the needs of singles. Whereas, where they are established 30-something Midsingle programs, the number who go inactive is much less. Recently we had over 1,400 30-something singles from across the country who came to our 30-something Midsingles Conference (ages 27-42) because they didn't want to go to an activity where some 50 year old was hitting on them. Most of these singles never attend traditional 31+ activities.

I think what's successful is allowing a little overlap and transition from one group to the next. For instance in our stake, YSAs (Young Single Adult) is from 18-30 (even though they encourage 18 and 19 y.o. to stay in the family wards until 20 or so). We also have a 30-something Midsingles group (31-40ish) but for dances and our conference we invite "older" YSAs to attend at 27 if they want. So for older YSAs they can double dip. Same concept applies to our late 30-somethings in our stake. We now have a 40-something activities group as well for people ages late30s-50. So a never been married guy at 39 probably prefers to hang out with the 30-something crowd, but a single mom at 39 with 5 kids may feel more comfortable with the 40-somethings. But they can attend both groups/activities. Likewise we have in our stake the "Elite Singles" for singles late 40s on up. At some point this group will be split to "50-something" singles and Senior Singles 60+. That is why a 31-45 and then 46+ split in some stakes has its flaws. The 40-somethings never have a chance to socialize with each other. But creating age groups on decades with some overlap makes better sense. This is not to say that all activities must be this narrow, there's still a need for an occasional "31+" fireside and some other activity. And sometimes the 30-somethings can join with the YSAs or the 40-somethings. The 40-somethings can join with the 30s or 50-somethings for an activity based on need, etc. But overall having decade only groups makes singles feel more comfortable, understood, and empowered that they have a core group of singles like them in their own ages, which makes venturing out to an occasional all ages dance (31+) or some other SA activity that can be perceived as "scary", much more tolerable and enjoyable knowing it's not the only SA activity going on.