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  1. My ex lied to my Bishop and I was lucky that he didn't believe her. She was Ex'ed I was not. The weird thing is she and I are friends now. It sounds horrible what you are going through, and sounds like Church officials are not using the power of discernment. I hope things work out for you. I was lucky and my ex stopped saying stuff about me that wasn't true. Rich
  2. He is the only Prophet I knew until he passed and President Monson became the Prophet. I have a strong fondness for President Hinckley. He reminded me of my Grandfather. he was a very kind and soft spoken man. He came to our Stake once for a conference, and I was blown away by his words. Everything he said struck a chord with me. I look forward to someday meeting him in person.
  3. I was bullied on the bus in grade school and in high school. It finally ended in 9th grade when I grabbed the bully by his hair and bounced his face off the wall. I'm not proud of what happened, but it had to happen in order for people to leave me alone. I became a person I did not want to be. No one messed with me, but throughout my early adult life I answered threats to me or family with violence. I am so glad I found the Church and changed. Now I am relaxed and laid back. I would only fight to protect my family or loved ones if I absolutely had to. I will never provoke violence and avoid it if I can. I've been teaching my brother since I joined the Church that violence isn't the answer. I simply have told him that it isn't worth it. He gets it now, and he recently was baptized. Bullying is not okay and there are kids and young people affected by it every day. I hope that one day humans will find the need to bully a thing of the past.
  4. My ex and I were sealed in the temple with 2 children. I had anger issues from being abused as a child physically and suffering from ADHD and Bipolar Disorder. I was mostly verbally abusive and slapped her once. I was controlling. One day my wife said she was going to leave me. She left and took the kids with her. I knew that even though she had her issues that I was what drove her away. I promised her that I would get help and if we got back together things would be different. I went to counseling and anger management classes. She hinted that we might get back together. Finally the final divorce court date came and she was intent on signing the papers. We had been separated for a year. On divorce day I signed and let her go knowing that I did my best to be a better person. My Bipolar is managed really well now as well as my ADHD. I am remarried in the Mount Timpanogos Temple and we are happy and have a 8 month old baby together. I live the Gospel and treat my wife with respect and no anger or control issues. I became the man that my ex wanted, but she left anyway. I don't recommend divorce after being married in the Temple. People today seem to be taught that if it is broken to toss it out (divorce) when really they should do everything possible to fix it and make it work. My ex had the toss it idea and now she regrets leaving because she sees me with my wife and kids and my 2 kids with her tell her that I am a great dad now and how well my wife and I get along. I'm not boasting, I just want you to know that people can change. I did and I am glad I did. Before I remarried I wished that my ex would have seen me for what I was working to be. It was unfortunate for her that she realized this after I remarried. Don't throw it away if there is even a chance he will change. Give him a chance, and decide a little later.
  5. When my son was 16 he also stopped believing, and only went to church because I told him to come with us. I finally told him I wasn't going to force him to go and he stopped going. He now smokes and drinks and claims there is no God. If I had forced him to go though..I would be taking away his agency. I can relate to you. I only hope that one day my son will find his way back. My daughter stopped coming because she was molested for 7 years by a members son, also a member, and the family looks down at her because her and I got their son sent to jail for child molestation. So I can relate to the worry of a child who is inactive. I pray for them alot, and just continue to set the example living the gospel as best I can. I hope your son finds his way. Rich
  6. I first went to Utah after meeting my wife online at LDS Mingles. I flew in. She picked me up at the airports. Since then I have spent close to 2 months in Utah visiting as far south as Saint George, Moab, and Bryce Canyon. I've been all over the Salt Lake City area and married in Mt. Timpanogos Temple. My wifes family is from Clearfield and her dad works for the church. I love it there so much that my wife and I are moving in the next year to Utah. There is so much to do there and I've had no bad experiences with the people of Utah. I live in Vermont and love the green mountains and the fall foliage, but Utah has its grip on me!!
  7. I am an active LDS, live the gospel as best I can, pay a full tithe, obey the word of wisdom, go to the temple, and I am very happy. I don't feel burdoned by the "rules". I feel that if I live the gospel as best as I can, asking myself everyday.."what can I do better?" that I will okay in the end. My biggest weakness right now is reading the Book of Mormon. I need to read it more. But am I worried that if Christ came tomorrow that I am going to be in trouble. Nah. ....I'm sure there are those who worry too much because of the strict nature in the Church. Simply put they are not ready to live to the higher standard. If someone said something offensive to me I would let them know it, but not avoid church. My daughter was sexually molested by a members son. I could let it eat at me, but I choose to forgive and move on. The family meanwhile blames my daughter and me for his incarceration. Their problem, not mine. It is unfortunate that my daughter and son no longer go because the parents of the offender give evil looks in church, but I suspect they will come around. Inactives just need to remember the church is perfect, people are not.
  8. Thanks everyone for your kind words. I've been on Straterra for close to a month and my focus is a little better. Jamie, sorry to hear it. I hope you see someone as it sounds like how I felt in my teenage years and some adulthood before I got on meds. It is hard going to church on Sunday and see people who I know want nothing to do with me, but it is getting a little easier. I just keep telling myself I am going for me. I'm feeling a little better about things which is good. I lost my Grandmother a month ago and my dad just went from the hospital to a nursing home. I would be tumbling out of control were it not for the meds and my awesome wife. I am starting to build a support network and my wife is the first in it. I am doing what I need to in living the Gospel, except I need to read the scriptures more. But overall life is good.
  9. I have been dealing with bipolar since I was around 7, or so I thought. Today I was diagnosed with both. I am 44 now. I was first diagnosed offficially about a year after joining the church. I suspected, went to doctor and was diagnosed and put on meds. Not having health insurance for a while made it hard to get meds and treatment. I thought when I was diagnosed at first that it sucked that I felt I had lost 20 years of my life to instablitlity, depression, anger, mania. Now I find that ADHD was also a factor. It is hard. I've been unemployed for almost a year because I can't focus at work. The illnesses cost me my job. I'm angry that this was missed, yet at the same time excited that my life may finally get on track. Mental illness is hard when all you want to do is succeed. I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish. I'm praying that these new meds are the answer on top of my regular regiment of meds. The bad thing about my illnesses is that I told the whole ward at fast and testimony. Now quite a few people won't talk to me. I just wanted them to know that you can push through struggles when fighting an illness (es) like mine, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am disabled right now, but trying to build a business. It keeps me busy and I hope to one day drop the disability. That's when I am able to get out of bed and not depressed. Hopefully the new meds work. Depression, bipolar, and adhd suck, but I have a strong testimony that my Heavenly father will take care of me and my family!! I attend church as often as able and really enjoy it. My week isn't that great if I miss. I hope that anyone with a mental illness knows that you can beat it and live a good life. My life started when I was baptised. I met an awesome missionary, married her, went back to college, and started a new business. Now we have a baby on the way. life is always an adventure now. I may also have adhd, but life will just keep improving as long as I am strong in the gospel.
  10. There is alot more to the Sunday School Presidency that ringing the bell and combing the halls to shew people off to class, but I won't go into it here. Let's just say it isn't a walk in the park. I did this calling just a year ago for a couple years. The only thing I'm learning from it is how to do the calling of the other 2 not coming. I was the Sunday School President, and right now I just need to be in Sunday School, and this calling doesn't allow for that. Last Sunday I went to class with my wife, learned alot, and actually felt relaxed for once. I agree with whoever said that not all callings are divine. I feel that some are because you are without a calling or have experience doing something. I live the gospel as best I can, but when my needs aren't being met, that is where I draw the line. Church should be enjoyable and a learning experience. Not worrying about how to get stuff done because you are the only one there.
  11. I struggle with church at times. I feel the Spirit, but I have bipolar disorder and really struggle with things at times. My calling for instance. I am in the Sunday School Presidency as 2nd counselor. I was the Sunday School President a year ago. My problem is that the Sunday School President and 1st Counselor never come. It really makes me feel like I am stuck doing their calling and of course I am doing what I did a year ago. I have no interest in doing it and would rather be in Sunday School learning. The only calling I have ever really enjoyed was being in the Elders Quorum. Otherwise I do better just learning. I know you learn and get blessings by doing and teaching, but with the bipolar it is really hard. I am in the middle of counseling and med changes right now and having a calling really doesn't serve me well. I told the Bishop who is also my friend, and I don't think he understands. He feels everyone needs a calling. A calling shouldn't cause you stress and anxiety like they do for me. I am struggling with many more things on top of that. I have few friends in life and other than hanging with my wife and kids I am lonely. I need someone with similar interests. My best friend and I no longer talk. I had baptized him into the Church, but he left because he felt it was a family Church and wasn't for him. He also struggles with mental illness. I stopped talking to him because of the negative vibe I got from him and he was using me. (long story)...Mental illness is so hard. I have a testimony, I read the scriptures, pray, pray with my wife, and attend Church. I had a good friend in Church, but his wife's son sexually molested my daughter and 4 other girls for 7 years. As a result of my actions and my daughter pressing charges he went to jail. Now his family hate myself and my daughter. I distanced myself from them just after my divorce because they just weren't living the Gospel and behaving very Christlike. I am married to a good woman. She is an ex missionary and lives the gospel as best she can. We have an awesome relationship. If not for her and my kids, I would go insane or crumble from pure loneliness. My friend the Bishop and I really don't hang out. He is very busy. I have also been to blame some for the distance keeping a slight distance as we are moving to Utah in a year or so. ...leaving friends behind has always been hard for me and causes great depression. So I want friends but don't want to lose them. Tough situation. I guess I am just venting and sounding off. Thanks for reading!!
  12. I was once told that "idle hands are the devils playground." ..if you aren't going to work, do something anything to keep busy. If you relapsed, you might consider the Addiction Recovery Program through the Church. I'm no "molly" Mormon either and I find that when I'm idle is when I'm tempted. It's a hard thing addiction. I have found that working on myself doing the key things helps the most. Scripture reading, prayer, Church (Sacrament), and service help the most. I'm unemployed and disabled so for me I have started a business that I am running. It keeps me very busy. Good luck!
  13. This behavior sounds exactly like the behavior that the guy who molested my daughter pulls. If he weren't in jail I'd ask his name. Serious red flags here. This guy is either a predator, or very possesive. I hope your friend will see the warning signs. I didn't. fortunately my daughter is very cautious now with people. Good luck to you and your friend. Being cautious is better than the worst case scenario. Good luck!!
  14. It would be ideal for him to find himself and the Gospel first, then should he choose to serve willingly, that would be great. Nothing worse than serving without a testimony of the Gospel. But I have seen Missionaries find the Gospel while out serving a Mission, so who knows. I would say if he doesn't want to go tell him to read the BOM, and pray for a testimony.
  15. Thanks for the advice! I'm pondering and praying about it as well as talking to the Bishop about my concerns. It's hard talking to him in this manner because he and I are friends as well. We were in the Elders Quorum Presidency together. Thanks again!!