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Everything posted by beefche

  1. beefche

    I'm too ordinary

    This is my old avatar on the other system we used to use.
  2. beefche

    I'm too ordinary

    Should I have added to that quote something about picking your nose with your tongue??? I do miss my other avatar, the licking cow.
  3. beefche

    I'm too ordinary

    Yes! It worked! My whiny post made it! Thank you!
  4. beefche

    I'm too ordinary

    You mean, something like, PU is the stinky school? or GO BIG RED! or GO IRISH! Is that what you mean?
  5. beefche

    The Razzie nominations are out...

    I'm a pseudo-reviewer. I do it for my friends knowing their tastes in movies. My rating system is: full price (seeing a movie the week it comes out in the evening); matinee price; Redbox price; free on Netflix or when you gets Starz for free on a weekend; don't waste any amount of time ever on this film. Pixels was just ok for me. I hated the first part of it and it wasn't until they actually started "fighting" that it was more interesting. I'm not a Sadler fan either. I liked him on SNL, but once he went solo, his humor was so sophmoric, crude, and just plain stupid. I typically don't see any of his movies and can only think of 2 movies I saw him in: Pixels and Bedtime Stories. I tried to watch the Grown Ups movie, but couldn't get past the first 20 min.
  6. My opinion on this issue doesn't hold as much weight as another man's opinion, IMO. I'm a woman so stating that I think he should not leave his wife over this issue doesn't carry as much influence as another man stating it. That's what I was trying to say that my opinion doesn't matter.
  7. I believe that there are some things in life that we must endure. And each person's trials are different than our own. Our trials in life are for our learning and experience. And some of those trials will be with us all of our life. So, I believe that some things we may never understand in this life. Your thorn may be with you your entire life and you may not understand why while you are in this life. I'm just at the beginning of my understanding of faith in a different way than I believed before my marriage. Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of something. You may understand one or two things about this trial, but to truly have faith, you will not understand or know it completely. So, perhaps, what you need to learn is to simply endure it well. Learn what it means to live with faith. Learn what it means to truly rely on the Lord and His laws. Learn what it means to continue to love and have charity for others (including your wife, children, neighbor, etc.) even when it seems we are being beaten. Learn about the Lord's compensation for what we have lost.
  8. I'm with TFP on this. As a woman, I don't understand male libido completely, but from my readings and such, men equate sex with love, affection, attention, and as a necessity to life. A woman can be the perfect wife in every other way, but if she isn't providing sex on a regular basis, then that man will feel unloved and unappreciated. Women don't seem to get this. They either don't want to understand or just refuse to acknowledge that men are THAT different from women in this aspect. Barring medical issues, I believe that it is a duty and responsibility of the wife (and husband in some cases) to provide sex on a regular basis to their spouse. What constitutes as "regular" and "sex" is between the individual couples. And there has to be compromise on both sides for this. Because while men need and want sex, women are happy without it for long periods of time. Daily duties as a wife and mother take a toll on a woman and she is often exhausted with still more things that she feels need to be done. It's difficult for a woman to just turn off her mind of the things that need to be done to focus on her intimacy with her husband. That's why doing the dishes, vacuuming, putting the kids to bed, etc. are so important to helping the wife focus on her intimate life with her husband. In the case of the OP, I'm not sure what we can tell him to do. Other than seeing a marriage counselor for both of them, or a counselor for him, ultimately, if his wife doesn't want to provide the intimacy that he needs (with compromise and reason on his part as well as hers) then he must decide to stay in the marriage or leave. I know I have my opinion, but that opinion is only good for my marriage, not his or another's marriage.
  9. Let me see if I can break it down to simple terms. Your greatest fear in marriage is happening. And it was a fear for a real reason--you are hurting, afraid, angry, betrayed, and even confused. You felt that you took all the precautions you could prior to marriage to prevent this from happening, but despite your efforts and confirmation from the Spirit, it still happened. I noticed that you aren't asking what to do regarding your marriage. You are asking what to do on your end--what to learn? how to cope? what to pray for? I have learned that marriage is more difficult that I ever expected. If my assessment of your situation is correct, then I am living that same thing. My greatest fear in marriage has happened and despite my precautions and spiritual confirmation, it still happened. I can't change my spouse. I can only look to myself. I prayed for patience. I prayed for increased love. I prayed for charity (which is more than just love). I prayed to know what I could do to influence my spouse. I prayed to know how to live today with faith. I prayed to know how to continue with a marriage that is so far from what I wanted and from what God wants. I prayed to know that by choosing to stay in this marriage that I was doing God's will. I try to focus on the good of my spouse. I try to praise that good. I discuss issues with him but I pray before and even after sometimes to know what to say and how to say it. I try to remember that he is a son of God and no matter how angry I am, how hurt I am, his choices hurt God more than me and yet He still loves him. I try to suppress the feelings I have when I want my spouse to make choices other than what he is making. Sometimes, I have to rely on the answer I got when I prayed about my marriage. I received 2 very distinct answers to my prayers about my marriage. There are times when I'm in the midst of my pain and anger that I remember those answers and tell myself to endure. I know that I can't prevent the choices my husband makes and someday those choices may result in the dissolution of our marriage. But, I refuse to focus on those "what ifs." I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'm sorry that such a great disappoint has happened despite your efforts to prevent it. One thing I can say is do not, DO NOT, let them influence you to choose to leave your faith behind. While you may not be at your spiritual high, abandoning your faith altogether WILL result in more sorrow and misery. Sometimes, we have to wade through the mud and muck before we get to higher ground. And it can get very muddy and mucky before we can even tell that there is higher ground. That is when faith is needed. Keep the faith.
  10. beefche

    Pots and Pans

    I've learned how good quality products cost money but in the long run actually save money. So, I buy one pot or pan at a time. It's a lot easier to spend $40 on 1 pot than to put up the "good gracious HOW MUCH IS IT??" that is required to buy a set of pans.
  11. Did you see the blog post on how Jar Jar is actually a Sith Lord? His points made a lot of sense, but I think it was way too good for Lucas to write.
  12. Is it being reported on Facebook? Isn't that where everyone gets their news? (/sarcasm)
  13. beefche

    Bytor is back part deux!

    Ok, now you need to post tomorrow to let us know that you are still back and nothing awful has happened.....
  14. We got rid of satellite about 1.5 years ago. I MISS SPORTS! I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I MISS WATCHING SPORTS! We have Hulu and Amazon prime (this is a great thing--so many perks) and that helps. We also bought a Roku 3 which really helped. BUT I MISS SPORTS! The only sports we get is what's on ABC, NBC or CBS. Can't watch Monday Night Football, can't watch a lot of the Pacer games, can't watch a lot of college games. I get Colts games because they have some deal with the local station to show their games (although, I could skip this season....we need help!). But, overall, I can't watch sports. And it's REALLY gonna suck when the Olympics are on. I haven't looked at Sling too much. When Hulu and Amazon is less than $10/mo, Sling's charge seems like a lot. But, it looks like if I really wanted to watch sports, it would be a great thing to get. Even if you get Sling, I would recommend looking into a Roku 3 if you get rid of cable. There are tons of free channels and you can watch your Sling on there too. It'll still be cheaper than cable.
  15. Dravin and I had our international Christmas Eve dinner tonight. This year, we went to Spain. We had meat/potato empanada with lime/cilantro sauce and for dessert we had flan. Wow, those empanadas were filling! I'm not a huge potato fan and we decided that we would do this again but use sweet potato, butternut squash, rutabaga, or some other root veggie instead of the potato. The cilantro/lime sauce was AMAZING. I love, love, love cilantro and this would be great thickened with greek yogurt and used on a taco salad. Next year, we are thinking of Philippino. In addition to Anatess and Bini here, I have a friend who is Filipino and I intend to hit her up for some recipes. Merry Christmas!
  16. Rey is related to Luke, methinks. In fact, I think she is his daughter. Notice how she lived on a desert planet, had a landspeeder, dressed like Luke, and has the Force aplenty. I think it is foreshadowed in this movie that she is his daughter. I think he left her for the same reason why he was hidden. I have no clue who her mother is, but I think we'll find out that the final battle will be a family affair--cousin vs. cousin. Ren wasn't fully trained. First, he left his Jedi training early and then Snoke says to the general guy to bring him Ren to complete his training. And I think Rey went to town on him because 1) Ren was wounded and tired from his earlier fight and 2) she had experience fighting with that pole thing. Not the same thing as a saber, I get that, but she used some of the same moves with the saber as she did with her pole thingy. What I would want to see is Ren not gaining salvation. I didn't get the feeling that he was actually conflicted about killing his father. I understand that as he prayed to his grandfather, he stated he felt the Light pulling him. But, when his father showed up and offered to help him, Ren saw his opportunity to reject the Light and took it--no hesitation. And although I know that his mother can and will forgive him, if he is redeemed at the last, then it WILL be another rewrite of Episode IV. There's no doubt the Good will overcome Evil--I liked that foreshadow in the Ren vs. Rey fight in this movie, but I'm just so mad at Ren for killing his father and one of the best characters of all time. HE DESERVES TO ROT IN SITH HELL!
  17. beefche

    how much time would you cut off from a lesson?

    I don't think it would be a bad thing to finish about 10 min early. Typically, the women will socialize during that "free" time. Not a bad thing to happen. However, I would only do that on a rare occasion.
  18. Today, we went to my dad's and had our traditional ham, mashed potatoes/gravy, green beans and corn. I think next year, I'm going to make mac and cheese with it.
  19. Perhaps, but we don't live in that culture. Our culture is highly sexualized (IMO). And we can see from popular movies/TV/music that being with a married person is ok as long as you are "in love." I've been in a situation where a married man mistook my genuine friendship (in which we were alone on 1 occasion, but all others were with he and his wife) as something more. It taught me a very strong lesson. I will never have a close friendship with a married man (if I were single) and never with a man (since I'm married).
  20. Why? I'm not saying that your relationships with your male friends are inappropriate. Again, you and your husband set the boundaries and rules for your marriage. If you both are fine with relationships with someone of the opposite sex, then fine. But, you can't expect me or others to have the same rules for our marriage/relationships.
  21. Anatess, there is mention in the handbook somewhere that married people (not married to each other people) should not drive to meetings together. I think the example is a bishop traveling with the RS president to a church meeting at the stake center. There are also boundless talks on this subject from the General Authorities. So, yes, I think you'll see this attitude more in the church than out of it. But, as a general rule, I believe it is a good one to have for married couples. Affairs (whether physical or emotional) never begin from nothing--they start as just hanging with someone, texting, dinner, extended meetings, etc. Basically, affairs typically develop from friendships. If I had a really good male friend that I have had before marriage, I can see myself having dinner with him as long as my husband knew about it and didn't mind it. But, I don't have that relationship with anyone male. I do occasionally have lunch with a cow-orker who is male. It is my personal habit to text my husband to let him know that I am having lunch with cow-orker alone. I also don't make it a habit to have lunch/dinner/meeting alone with males. What you do with your relationship with your husband is your business. Your marriage, your rules. But, for me and my marriage, I would be highly uncomfortable if my husband had a female friend that he spent a lot of alone time with.
  22. beefche

    Charlie Brown Christmas

    If you have the Charlie Brown Christmas CD (or mp3), it includes the Charlie Brown theme. I'm talking about this:
  23. beefche

    What your avatar says about yourself

    I miss Suzie. I miss my old avatar--the licking cow. I'm glad I have this avatar if I can't have the licking cow. I'm probably the only woman in the world who doesn't mind being called beef or referenced to a cow.
  24. beefche

    Through the fog

    I'm sorry, RB. I really am. I have absolutely no experience with this. But, I have experienced difficult times when it felt like my world just crashed around me and I'm left kneeling in the aftermath, too weak to stand. You need to allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Seek professional help if necessary. Rely on the Lord. If you need to go to another ward because your current ward is where your wife is, then do so. Stay close to the Lord. Even when it feels the heavens are closed to you, they are not. Go to the temple as often as you can (and trust me, I know that can be painful to listen to the instructions given to couples), but focus on the feelings of the Spirit and revelation. Sometimes, all I felt was a moment of peace while at the temple--no new insights or learnings, just a moment of God's peace. Seek out friends and family as needed. Take time to make sure you remain healthy--eat well, sleep (as much as you can), exercise. Remember that your healing and grief will be different from others. And learn to forgive others as people are people and will say/do thoughtless things that will hurt. I'm sorry that our lives don't turn out as we hoped. I have to remind myself that the Lord has made some pretty incredible promises and He wants to give us those promises--it's just a long and stinky time to wait for them, but I believe we will come to see that this pain and disappointment will be worth it.
  25. beefche

    Christmas treats!

    I don't make Christmas treats. I just eat them. So feel free to send me some and I'll give my honest review of them. <--me waiting for your tasty treats....