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Everything posted by beefche

  1. I was told when I received my endowment to wear my garments next to my skin. Later in life, I spoke to the temple matron about female things and garments. She assured me that while garments are sacred they are also underwear and to wear my garments as needed to fit my female needs. I asked her point blank if that meant that I didn't have to wear the garment next to my skin and she said that no, there are times when it wouldn't be sensible. I have some bras that I wear on top of my garments and I have some that I wear next to my skin as they will not stay in place if placed over the garment. You can always ask to speak with the temple matron next time you are at the temple. You can then speak to her about your concerns and receive her counsel. I will say that it has been my experience that church leaders are not so authoritative about how we keep our covenants. They give guidelines and then allow us to make our own decisions.
  2. I must not be understanding. To me, this sounds like a simple fix. Get a size or two smaller. Use the ones that are too big for when you need to do laundry (I tend to wear my "old" garments when I'm doing laundry). Also, you may find that you wear different sizes depending on the fabric. And it is completely up to you on what you feel comfortable with. I have friends who like their garments to be very snug. Some like them looser fitting. If you have garments that you have not opened, you can return those. As far as the bra issue, you can wear your bra under your garments. I think we were told at one time to wear our garments next to our skin, but, bras are not made to be worn over clothing. Thus, in order for your bra to fit right, wear it next to your skin.
  3. beefche

    "No backup brownies"

    This is an area where I struggle--in church and in personal life. I mean, I know I can do the job better (usually) and anticipate that others are either not gonna do it or not do it the right way. (yeah, go ahead and call me a control freak--I resemble that). I have to consciously let go and that is very difficult to accept that it means that I have to accept failure. Good luck, sister. When the rain falls, just quack.
  4. Sometimes, we don't know what we don't know. I know that for me, my idea of what constitutes tithing has changed over the years. And my opinion changed because of my study of tithing, discussions with bishops, discussions with trusted friends, and what I believe was the Spirit teaching me. Typically, I like when people approach these type of discussions with an explanation of their understanding but with the added caveat, "it's ultimately between you and the Lord." Because that is a very true statement. But, answering the question also allows us another perspective to consider and possibly take to the Lord.
  5. beefche

    Family dinners

    Sometimes I wish I were named April. Then on my husband's birthday I could declare, "It's April's Fool's Day!"
  6. Oh, I get that. And do it myself. So, I understand coming on here to moan and groan about stupid things that just boil your water.
  7. I really, REALLY wish people would take the old cliche to heart "treat others as you would be treated." We need to understand that no one is perfect. No teacher is perfect. No RS president is perfect. No bishop is perfect. We all say that we know that, but our actions sure don't back that up. So, when a teacher lets a class get out of hand, instead of rolling our eyes and complaining, figure out what you can do to help her. Instead of complaining that all the activities that the EQ sponsor are basketball games, figure out what you can do to support the EQ and fellowship others. It simply is not helpful to tell someone "you know, it would better if you..." or "when i was in that calling, we did....." Of course, there are times when the Spirit may whisper to you to say/do something, but be careful that it's actually the Spirit and not the "I know better than he/she" spirit.
  8. beefche

    Divorce or Endure?

    THIS. A THOUSAND AND ONE TIMES THIS. Marriage is hard. And I think all of us have doubts about our choice. At all points in a relationship. I had my doubts while dating, while engaged, on the way to the temple, and many, MANY times since the temple ceremony. But, as Eowyn said, God doesn't expect you to give up your marriage for doubts creeping in. He expects you to work at your relationship. And sometimes, you are the only one working (at least from your perspective). But, you don't give up. Choose today to change your thoughts about your husband. Make a conscious effort to think something positive about him every day. And increase that to 2 things/day, then 3 things/day, etc. Pray that your heart will change, that you will see him as the son of God he is. Read everything you can from past General Authorities about marriage (including the fantastic talk from Elder Oaks on divorce--that saved me from leaving my husband) and pray to begin to think of this marriage as one you want to stay in. Good luck. Marriage is hard, it's work, but it's also very fulfilling. But sometimes, we have to work hard to see that fulfillment.
  9. Well, there are a couple of things for each hymn, called mood and tempo. I'm pretty sure that each hymn doesn't include the mood "death dirge." So, not only can the hymns be PLAYED at tempo, but they can even be SUNG at tempo and remain reverent and worshipful. Does that add some butter to your toasted biscuits?
  10. beefche

    TV Show Reviews

    I love these shows too (the hubs and I love watching Joe Kenda). My honey has remarked that he's a little frightened at my fascination and he's gonna leave a video to say if he dies to look at my viewing habits as evidence. LOL!
  11. beefche

    Decaf Coffee

    I'm sorry that you didn't know about this before your baptism. I expect there may be a lot more you don't know either. I really, really encourage you to contact your bishop and arrange for the new member discussions as well as home teachers and visiting teachers. It will be good for you to have the new member discussions (which are very similar to the missionary discussions) and have a way to ask someone in person about some of these things. Please remember that you will not know every thing about the church from the missionary discussions or even the new member discussions. The church encourages the members to learn on our own. One thing you can do is begin a study of the Preach My Gospel. Here is the link: This is what the missionaries use to teach others. Members of the church use this as a study guide for studying the scriptures. This is a great place to see what was taught (or maybe not taught very well) by the missionaries. Another good resource is the Gospel Principles: This is a Sunday School class that can be called Gospel Essentials (I've heard both Gospel Principles and Gospel Essentials as the name of the Sunday School class). Notice that chapter 40 includes information about baptism for the dead. In fact, the more I think about it, I think this is a better place to start your study rather than the Preach My Gospel. There are a lot of resources for you to understand doctrines of the church and begin your study to gain a deeper conviction (testimony) of the truth of these things. I've studied these and through the years, the things that made no sense to me for a long time are now beginning to make some sense. I still feel like a 2 year old when it comes to spiritual things. But, I have faith that Jesus is real, this is His church and has His authority to do His work, and that the Book of Mormon is scripture. As I've focused on those things (which is the basis of my testimony), I've slowly learned more and more and feel more faith in things that I didn't think I had faith in. Don't rush yourself. Take the baby steps, just make sure you are moving forward. It's not a race...just keep studying, praying, going to church and you'll learn and gain a testimony. Just remember that sometimes things that may seem shocking at first do have meaning and context.
  12. beefche

    I owe $15,000 in tithing, Can I pay it elsewhere?

    This is very true. But, a bishop has discernment and can ask some questions to make sure the person understands tithing, what it means to be a full tithe payer, and may even be able to teach doctrine. So, yes, appearances can be deceiving, but sometimes they aren't. That isn't to say anyone is being malicious or sneaky, but sometimes people just don't understand things. I truly think that bishops only want to help people come closer to Christ, so asking questions during a tithing settlement isn't nefarious.
  13. beefche

    People Still ”Commit Suicide”

    What, exactly, are you wanting from us? To comment on the content? To comment on phrasing or more technical parts? How can we help you?
  14. beefche

    Decaf Coffee

    Also, one thing to keep in mind, you will always learn something new. Sometimes these new things to you may be old news to others. But, we are all in this together. So, if you find that you drink coffee and start to feel guilty and not want to go to church because of that, go anyway. If you find out later that something else you've been doing may not be a good thing to do, it's ok. Chalk it up to you learned something new. Remember, just try a little harder to be better today than yesterday. Little steps. We are all taking little steps, even people who you may think as taking big steps....they are not big ones, but little ones for them.
  15. beefche

    Decaf Coffee

    As a new convert, I would recommend that you focus on attending all 3 hours at church (Sacrament, Sunday School, and Relief Society (or Priesthood if you are male)), praying daily, reading scriptures daily, and keeping the commandments as best you are able at this time (things like pay tithing, be kind to others, serve other people as you can, no smoking, no drinking alcohol or tea or coffee, etc.). If you have never received new member discussions (very similar to the discussions you had with the missionaries before being baptized, but these are given after baptism), then speak to the bishop about having them. It'll likely be done by members of the church rather than missionaries (although they may be done with missionaries). Also, I would recommend that you speak to the Relief Society President (if you are female) and ask about having visiting teachers and becoming a visiting teacher. That will not only help you to serve others, but it will also allow you to build some friendships with other people. Good luck.
  16. beefche

    Ignore button, do you use it?

    You promised that you would never admit that about me aloud!
  17. beefche

    What’s the last movie you watched?

    Finally saw Hacksaw Ridge. Very, very, bloody and gory. Many times, I had to look away because I am wimpy like that. But, what an incredible story about an incredible man. Amazing faith and endurance. My only complaint is that I wished they had established his faith before he went into the Army. They tried to but it wasn't enough, IMO. Still a great war movie.
  18. beefche

    Priest craft

    I wish they would bring back Diet Voltage. It was so good!!!
  19. My advice would be to focus on those you are serving. If you are unable to do a program or something more formal, that doesn't prevent you from loving those you serve, praying for them, putting an arm around them, reaching out thru text/email, asking them how you can help them. I think you are serving YW. If that is the case, then you still have a lot of room to serve. YW need love and need to know they are loved. Find out their interests and then have a conversation with them about it. If you are able, go to a performance of theirs, compliment them on Sunday for something (dress, good talk, being kind to another, etc.). Sit by them at church or invite them to sit with you (and the YW would love to be around your kiddos). Make them Valentine day cards (too late!) or St Paddy's day cards, etc. Put a encouraging meme on their FB wall or on Instagram.
  20. beefche

    What’s the last movie you watched?

    I have a rating system: Great movies means I'll pay full price (Friday evening price). Good movies means I'll pay matinee or maybe cheaper theater (can't call them dollar movies anymore). Ok movies means it's worth a rental. Meh movies means wait until it's on Netflix or HBO (if you have it). In other words, don't pay anything extra for them. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME movies means just that.
  21. beefche

    What’s the last movie you watched?

    @anatess2 Did you like the first John Wick?
  22. I absolutely love the ankh. It's the ancient symbol for life or eternal life. It looks like a cross, maybe a fancy cross. I like the symbolism and just how it looks. So, I've worn one to church before. I use as jewelry, not as a devotional symbol. I've slowly learned over the years that I need to worry more about my own intents, thoughts, actions, or behaviors rather than worry about someone else and what they wear or do. There are just so many factors into reasons why people say, do, wear what they do--and I haven't developed God's omniscience yet, so I'll leave it up to Him to work on them.