Senior Moderator
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Posts posted by beefche

  1. I'm sorry this is happening. I've not had this issue. As I thought about practical advice, my inner rebel kept piping up, "Don't stop going to church! That means they win! Go to church and be cheerful and smiling so the old biddies will have to work even harder to push us out!" Maybe the sentiment isn't good, but I think the actions are good. Focus on people who need a friend or a kind word or a smile. Support your husband and be even kinder to him--his burden is greater due to the actions of these people. Choose faith--and sometimes it is a choice--and rely on the Lord even more. 

  2. I don't understand. They bump into each other and that resulted in a fight? I suppose I'm just weird. This is how it would have gone down for me:

    Another person and I run into each other

    Me: OH! I'm sorry! Are you ok?

    Other Person (OP): Yeah, no harm done. 

    I guess it could have happened this way....

    Me: OH! I'm sorry! Are you ok?

    OP: You stupid @#[email protected]#[email protected]! You need to watch where you are going! You #[email protected]#$!#$%. 

    Me: Uh, okayyyy.... walks away....

    I couldn't care less if people call me names. I suppose if someone takes a swing, then things would change. But, it typically wouldn't result in violence unless both parties are being stupid. 

  3. In an article on ldsliving (linky), it quotes Joseph Smith as saying (referring to the deceased among us), "They are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith." 

    Why would the deceased know our thoughts? I thought it was the Lord only who knew our thoughts (not even Satan knows our thoughts). What is it about not having a mortal body allows us to know another's thoughts? Am I being too literal in understanding this statement?

  4. Finally saw Endgame. SPOILERS!

    I admit, I exclaimed aloud when Cap picked up Mjolnir. I bawled like a baby with Tony and Pepper at the end. I, too, wondered about the backstory of Nat and Clint. I had some serious issues with the timeline problems. But, I enjoyed the movie overall. I'm glad it's over (ok, not really, as there will be movies with Spiderman, Marvel, Dr. Strange, and what the heck happened to Loki???). 

  5. Here's my typical conversations when this comes up (this is not an exaggeration--actually happened several times):

    Friend: try this coffee! So good!

    Beef: no thanks.

    Friend: why? it's really good! I hated coffee until I tried this. Try it!

    Beef: no, I don't drink coffee and honestly hate even the smell of it. Look at that lady's purse! It's so pretty!

    Friend: just try it. 

    Beef: no, it's also against my religion. Seriously, did you see that purse? Loved the teal color!

    Friend: what? Why? What's wrong with coffee? Your Mountain Dew has caffeine too!

    Beef: it's not about the caffeine. I've made a promise to God that I won't drink coffee, or tea, or alcohol, or smoke, or take drugs. I love teal, but don't have a teal purse. Do you have one?

    Friend: I get the smoking and drugs, but coffee? tea? alcohol? What's wrong with them? Even in moderation, a little alcohol is good.

    Beef: it's against my religion. I made a promise to God. Where did you get your purse?

    Friend: but, coffee is healthy! And drinking wine is healthy! Don't you want to be healthy?

    Beef: I don't know if there is anything wrong with them. But, I made a promise to God to not drink them. Can we talk about purses now? I'm not changing my mind about the coffee. So, where's the best place to get a teal purse?


  6. 21 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

    Why is it disturbing? It's a personal decision that doesn't deserve judgment from the peanut gallery. I respect and admire @beefche's decision to stay. I would respect and admire someone's decision to leave. Presumption that either decisions is cavalier and callous is insensitive.

    It's one thing to discuss theoretical reasons why people should or should not get divorced. It's another thing entirely to be "disturbed" by the reality of a hard decision made in good faith.

    I didn't express myself well. What people decide in their marriage is their business. I don't agree necessarily that divorce is the answer if one of the spouses leave the church (and that's the only thing that changed), but it's not my business and I'm not privy to the privacy of the marriage or of the Lord's inspiration. So, one couple's choice to separate and another to stay isn't disturbing to me.

    What disturbed me was how they expressed it to me. Saying to me that they would divorce in response to me sharing such personal, painful information disturbs me. To me, it just isn't proper to express that thought as a response. Something more along the lines of, "I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be very difficult. Wow, I'm not sure how I would respond in your place."--any of those are appropriate. It just upsets me to hear people say that in response. I don't hold it against them. Most of the time, people just don't know what to say in these situations, so unfortunately, they don't think about how it will sound or be taken.

  7. My husband and I were married in the temple. He comes from pioneer stock. After 2 years of marriage, he announced his intention to leave the church. That came completely out of the blue for me. Absolutely nothing to indicate he was leaning towards this. When he left, I struggled with it and frankly, didn't handle it well. He was completely anti and the vitriol he had for the church (and church members) was so shocking to me (his outspoken contempt has lessened now). I still don't know why he left (although I have a very strong suspicion of what it was--absolutely nothing to do with a member or members at all).

    Based on this experience, I can say that the ward members who reached out to him did so with friendship, not with any intent of reactivating or converting. In fact, a couple of members that we hung out with commented that when he left the church, he left them as well.   

    One thing that I can say that disturbs me from church members is how many (friends and acquaintances) said to me that they would divorce their spouse if they left the church. First, you honestly don't know what you would do unless you are in that situation (trust me, before I married I would have been the same to say such--in fact, I would never have dated my husband had I any inkling he would leave the church), but that truly isn't helpful to say that. Say it to yourself or someone else, but not in my hearing. I don't need to justify to you my decision to stay married so even saying, "Wow, I could never stay married. I'd divorce him/her in a heartbeat." suggests that my decision is wrong. Second, I am grieving! and you suggest to me that I should divorce him (and yes, I had people do more than just say they couldn't stay married--they flat out asked me if I'm getting a divorce)? If I had asked someone if I should divorce is one thing, but I never brought that subject up (thought about it of course, but never asked anyone since that was my decision alone). Offering such a "solution" to my issue is extreme to say it nicely. You can express sympathy better than that, surely. 

    So, in my limited experience, it was the leaver who severed relationships, not church members.

  8. 1 hour ago, clwnuke said:


    2. Date people long enough to get over the "honeymoon phase" so you can see clearly. Or, if you've known this person long enough to know their character and values, begin dating to determine if you are compatible in more intimate types of discussions.




    My issue with this statement is that my honeymoon phase lasted the whole year we dated and through our 2nd wedding anniversary. No way on Earth would I date someone for over 3 years to get out of the honeymoon phase. 

    My advice to youngin's is to listen to those closest to you (parents, friends, spiritual leaders). Because we are in love, we sometimes can't see red flags or just things that may make us not compatible. They love us and have our best interests in mind. So listening to their thoughts or concerns can help us see issues that we may not see. Obviously, these loved ones cannot make the decision for us, but they can help us. 

    Sorry, that advice isn't moving from friends to more but rather to dating to engagement/marriage. 


  9. Finally got around to watching A Quiet Place. It was enjoyable, but...


    Seriously? How in the world did none of the governments figure out that sound is what attracks them so sound is what can destroy them???!!! The governments obviously were aware of them as the newspapers plastered headlines on the creatures and how to protect yourself. And why was everyone so isolated? I understand not wanting to live in a city full of people, but obviously, it could be done because someone is manufacturing those newspapers. And it wasn't that the creatures were in overwhelming numbers--the family had written down that there were 3 confirmed sightings near their home. I can understand why a family alone may not be able to kill these creatures--but, come on! Militaries are more than capable of finding the weakness and exploiting it!

    I did enjoy the movie, but it was pretty predictable and I couldn't get past the obvious flaw. And that poor girl--she'll be scarred for life after thinking she was responsible for her brother's death and now taking on the responsibility of her father's death--she figured out about her aides and that she could have left it on to get rid of the creature. 

  10. My husband was surprised by this too. He served his mission in this area and felt that Moses Lake was close to another temple. 

    But, I thought temples (at least the ones here in the US) are based on general membership as well as priesthood membership. If that's true, then Moses Lake would have a need for a temple (general membership) and have the manpower (priesthood membership) to support the running of the temple. 

  11. Sorry I haven't been as vocal on here. 

    I've not been in a healthy mindset for the past few weeks. Physical, spiritual, or mental health. :(

    I'm back on my 5and1 plan today. By sticking closely to it, I can easily lose 5 lbs this first week. I won't be 100% this weekend as we have a family gathering and I plan on eating some good grilled meat (meat is good, but not the high fat, but delicious ones I plan on eating) and my sis-in-law's potato salad. 

    I'm tired of being fat, too, @unixknight. My husband and I just returned from the Smoky Mountains. We did lots of walking/hiking. I enjoyed it and definitely did better than I would have last year before losing the weight I lost. But, I still have 50# to lose and I kept thinking how much better I would feel if I would stick with my health goals.

    While I know, intellectually, that I will always need to work on my health, sometimes I just get tired of fighting cravings and emotional eating. So, I give in--then I beat myself up over being normal and human. And as a health coach (I coach others in the program I'm doing), I would never in a million years think or say what I allow myself to think and say to myself. 

    But, I feel that I'm in a better place mentally. So, now I'm back to focusing on my health (with planned variations from it). So, what I say to myself (and anyone else who is like me)--today is a new day...make a better choice now than you did yesterday or even a moment ago. Remember WHY you want to be healthy and keep that focused. When you are tempted to grab food that you know isn't healthy, remind yourself of why you want to be healthy and ask yourself if this choice moves you closer or further away from that.

  12. 20 hours ago, Scott said:

    Play AC/DC on the relief society piano


    @NeuroTypical and @mirkwood, wasn't it Santa Hans who played music from Star Wars as the prelude for sacrament? And he played the Imperial March when the bishopric would come into the chapel to take their seats at the beginning of sacrament? I would have loved to have been there for that. :roflmbo:

  13. On 2/12/2019 at 11:51 AM, unixknight said:

    I watched a documentary yesterday which, I'd actually seen before but forgotten.  It was called "For the Love of Spock," about he life and career of Leonard Nimoy, written and directed by his son, Adam.  It was pretty good.  Seems like Mr. Nimoy was a pretty good guy, and had a lot of talents.  I think they overestimated the importance of Spock to the overall Star Trek success, but that's understandable, and I'll concede that it wasn't by much.  

    Was Sheldon Cooper in it? He did do an interview with Adam..... :D

  14. We cut the cord to satellite about 4 years ago. I HATED letting it go, but it was just too expensive (and we didn't have any premium channels). I really miss cable/satellite for 2 reasons--sports (very hard to get football, basketball, or Olympics without cable) and DVR. 

    We got an antennae for the TV to get the local channels and a Roku for all else. We had Amazon Prime for years, added Hulu and Netflix (got a 3 mo free giftcard and just kept it). If we could afford it (darn student loans!), I would go back to satellite. But, I don't see that happening until our debt has lowered significantly (probably about 8-10 years from now). 

    When the Olympics come on, I usually get SlingTV for that time period. But then we ditch it. My husband doesn't watch much TV, but he watches a lot of Twitch and Youtube stuff. I'm the junkie who needs the TV/movies fix.

  15. 3 hours ago, Fether said:

    Bigoted? Sometimes, but I see it Similar to saying to people from Indian “Hoosier daddy?” Or “you married to your cousin?” To a true blood Kentuckian (which is a valid question!)

    Whoa, whoa, whoa...I'm a born and bred Hoosier who was raised by a Kentuckian grandma....what are you asking me??? 

  16. 19 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

    The scriptural analogy of Christ as shepherd and His disciples as sheep, is beautiful and satisfying.  Leaving the ninety and nine for the one?  Defending against the wolves? Very comforting analogy.

    The world takes the analogy and twists it.  In their mind, the shepherd is a bad guy - pretending to care for his flock, but really he only values the meat he gets after butchering.  The sheep trust him because they don't think enough.  If they did think enough, they'd rebel from the mercenary shepherd and go hang out on the beach smoking joints (or whatever).    The world's take is stupid.  It doesn't understand the realities of sheep life, or shepherds.  


    Yep. This person leveled this as an insult and while I did take it as such, it wasn't because of the words. I was insulted because it came from a dark emotion from a loved one. 

    It really saddens me to see the world view of commandments and following the commandments to be a weakness or even detrimental. As if following the Lord's commandments makes me a thoughtless robot.