unixknight

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Everything posted by unixknight

  1. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Since I'll be picking up my eldest tomorrow morning for a brief weekend visit I'll have plenty of time with him on the long drive back and forth to talk about these issues. Now if I can get similar 1 on 1 time with the ot hers on a regular basis, I think we'll be alright.
  2. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Just a side note: If you want to know what my new baby daughter looks like, take a look at Dolly-Mama's avatar on the Help with Baby thread
  3. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    That's exactly the scenario I want to avoid. I have a pretty strong influence over my sons, but my daughter is her mommy's girl (Although that has suffered as the new boyfriend's daughter has come into the picture and supplanted my daughter a the favorite, at least from her perspective.) I've already had to sit down with her (she's 8) and reassure her that I love her as much as ever and that I'm incredibly proud of her. The reason: My wife and I have a new baby daughter and I anticipated possible jealousy issues. What didn't help was the day my ex dropped our daughter off, pointed to the new baby and whispered to her "There's your competition." I tell that story because it seems like I may be facing an active effort on her part to drive a wedge between the kids and me, even as her own relationship with them erodes. I will take the advice I've been given here and hopefully I can report back later that all is well. Incidentally, since my son isn't going to Youth Conference he's coming here for the weekend. (I can't take him realistically to YC because they live in another state)
  4. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Woohoo! And this was well timed... I just got a call from my eldest and apparently due to complaining on the part of his mom, he's now option out of going to Youth Conference... He assures me that the decision was his, but I know in my heart he did it to try and appease his mom. This is an area in which I have absolutely no control whatsoever and I want to talk to him about it this weekend when he comes down to visit, but I feel I have to walk a very fine line... I want him to stand up for what is the best thing to do but at the same time I don't want to be effectively encouraging him to disregard his mother's authority. Time for lots and lots of prayer.
  5. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Roger that.
  6. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    See, that's the sort of thing I'd like to have happening, but it seems like my ex's relationship with our kids is being systematically disassembled and I feel like I either have to step in and make excuses for her, or somehow try to distract the kids. I've already tried talking to her directly about this, but my words carry no weight whatsoever so I got nowhere. I've been thinking about talking to her parents for the kids' sake, but I have little hope that they'd do anything because it might be seen as "getting involved" which they have never done.
  7. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Great suggestions. I will, thanks!
  8. unixknight

    Just another new guy

    Crazy is good. It's very, very good. Thanks for the kind words :)
  9. unixknight

    Just another new guy

    Hey all, Been a member of the Church for 10 years as of last Saturday. I'm here because I'm something of a forum junkie, and I have a tendency to get involved in forums that, rather than stimulating my mind, tend to leave me in a bad mood and stressed out. I'm hoping this will be the antidote. :)
  10. unixknight

    Need for advice/reassurance in dealing with an ex

    Thanks guys. Yeah I do pretty much those things. I got my ex to form an agreement with me to keep our issues between us and not criticize each other to the kids. Lately my kids have expressed to me their gladness that I've held up my end of that deal, even as they tell me about how she doesn't. They're with me every other weekend and so I can get them to church. When they're at home they go with their grandparents, who live in the same home with them and are members. They are getting to church and my oldest is in Seminary, so that much is covered. As I understand it, he even leads his younger siblings in prayer. I just wish it didn't have to fall to him to take up that slack but he is handling it admirably. It's the younger two I worry about the most.
  11. unixknight

    Just another new guy

    Thankya!