funkymonkey

Ok that totally was not what I meant to write. Sorry. I deserved that. Can I edit that out? Pam, I think that's great that you have a line of respectable men in your family. In my own family it has been a COMPLETELY different story. Filled with men that claim to be men of God, but in reality they all have "recreational hobbies" involving lotsa women. Probably has a lot to do with why the polygamy thing is really difficult for me. Anyway what I meant to say was something about the nature of man raised in today's society...they're obviously tempted in much more direct ways than men of earlier times. That's all. Please forgive me.

I haven't read the whole thread but here are my thoughts... I was having a big problem with this just this past week. I was in tears for a couple of days just trying to comprehend the whole thing. I spent a lot of time praying and really did feel the love of my heavenly father. Heavenly Father loves his daughters and wants all of us to be happy, and treated right, loved, and protected. This is not a principle the Lord requires of me and very well may never require this of me, and I am fine with that. I am happy with my hubby and the commitments we have made to each other. He is committed to only me and I only to him...and that's all God has asked of us. This is something that I cannot compare to the ideas I currently have regarding relationships... *edit* there is sexual perversion everywhere...pornography, fornication, adultery, strip clubs, etc...and the media exposes them to temptations day in and day out. *edit* But to approach this principle honestly we need to remember that intimacy is a very very different thing now than it was even 200 years ago. It was an extremely small number of men that were called to this duty. I am sure most of which held this obligation not as an opportunity to exploit women but to truly fulfill the will of God. (keyword, most) In my own life, I don't know any men that would not exploit the practice of polygamy...and which is why I believe that it is not currently lived. But I do believe that in a different time and place in a society with a stronger value set, there were a very select few truly righteous men that respected this calling how God intended. I think that intimacy will be even more different in the afterlife. ...The scriptures say somewhere that in the afterlife, good looks or bad looks won't matter. We will all have different shaped bodies but our spirits will be so "mature" that it won't matter. To me, intimacy and companionship will hold a very different meaning for us as well...maybe it won't mean the same as it does for us here. Companionship and intimacy most likely will be something quite a bit different from what we understand it to be in this life...but because our understanding will be that much more mature, it won't be bothersome. For each scripture there is about polygamy, there are many more passages about how to treat your wife and child, and the many many obligations a true man of God has to his family. God holds his daughters of the highest esteem. The Lord does have a plan for each of us, so we can be the happiest we can be...and he does love value each of his daugthers very very much.

So I kinda feel bad. I feel somewhat responsible for this thread's detour. ...oops...

This totally reminds me of myself. I thought I was this totally screwed up girl surrounded by all these good kids (college), and whenever a nice boy asked me out I would be sure to be on my best behavior as to not reveal who I "really was". But I was being who I really was...just a better version of myself. But those priesthood honoring guys struggled too and were trying to be good just as much as I was...and yes they talked to their bishops about stuff too. But watch out for that wolf in sheep's clothing. Those guys are out there...yes the guys with the best "reputations" at church can very well be the sneaky guy that is only looking out for himself and his own wants. If you do run into a few of those just move on past em, and don't be discouraged if they break your heart or dissapoint you ...we all need Christ, none of us are perfect, even the "Peter Priesthoods". As in all relationships, different people will bring out different qualities in you. The cool thing about dating someone who is truly trying to live the gospel is that it can encourage you to bring your good qualities to the surface, and push many of those weaknesses into the background. You have just as much to contribute as he does...you have experiences that give you a unique perspective and depth that he may not have. There's nothing wrong with being a colorful and fun personality good guys LOVE that. Good luck finding this one good guy who will bring out the best in you...it may take quite a few duds to find him but he's out there, I promise. :) Girl, you DESERVE a good priesthood honoring guy. Don't let anyone (including the adversary) convince you that you aren't good enough, perfect enough, etc. Don't ever forget that. You ARE good enough for nice guys...just as you are right now.

I got a little compact photo album (with the little celephane sleeves) and just collect them in there. Then when I need quotes and stuff for talks, devotionals, lessons, etc...they're all there. They can also be glued into your journal as well. It would be very nice to read your reflections on them during hard times...and it very well could inspire your posterity someday as well. My hubby got a tiny notepad with a spiral binding that he can keep in his scripture case and just transposes them in there. It went with him on his mission and everything...Whenever he's put on the spot he just whips out his little notebook and he's good.

Funny shallow joke... Farrah Fawcett went to the pearly gates and Saint Peter told her she had one wish. She asked for All the Children in the world to be safe.... That afternoon Michael Jackson died.

Hey HEP. I remember how hard this was for you last year as well. So sorry. Ugh! Life can just really suck! But there is HOPE, hope in eternal life...hope in the gift of our savior, a promise that not only might you see her again but that you WILL see her again. 3 Nephi 22:10 “For the amountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my bkindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed.” “While He prayed in Gethsemane, all of the agony and sorrow of the entire world was centered in Him…He took upon His sinless soul...the weight of the world’s sorrows. “It was not physical pain, nor mental anguish alone, that caused Him to suffer such torture as to produce an extrusion of blood from every pore; but a spiritual agony of soul such as only God was capable of experiencing. He prayed to the Father, “Not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). To do the Father’s will was the Son’s supreme desire—even when it was as painful as it was in Gethsemane.” (2002 Ensign, Elder Johann A Wondra) The atonement is given to us to bring us peace in our heartache, all we have to do is ask. Christ truly loves you and your wife HEP. Much luv HEP.

I've learned a big lesson this year in regards to physical health... Last October’s General Conference - President Dieter F Uchdorf The Importance of Hope “Hope is one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. These three stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time.” “Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence—when this desire of our heart is delayed—can make “the heart sick.” “This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy, rejoicing, and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls." Why is there Despair? 2 Nephi 2:11 “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so… righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor evil...” President Faust said in October 99 Conference: “Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope.” …president Uchdorf's talk, “The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward... ...Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear”. How do we find hope? “Hope cometh of faith” Ether 12:6“…And I would show unto the world that afaith is things which are bhoped for and cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no dwitness until after the etrial of your faith. 7 For it was by faith that Christ showed himself unto our fathers, after he had risen from the dead; and he showed not himself unto them until after they had faith in him;... 8 But because of the faith of men he has shown himself unto the world, and glorified the name of the Father, and prepared a way that thereby others might be partakers of the heavenly gift, that they might hope for those things which they have not seen. 9 Wherefore, ye may also have hope, and be partakers of the gift, if ye will but have faith." I started with just praying every day for God to help me to be happy, regardless of my situation, and he paved the way. I still have bad days and days that are really hard, but they are 1/2 the time they used to be. The mind and spirit are very powerful aids for our bodies. Christ has the answers...I needed to fully rely on Him. It has made a monumental difference for my own personal health, and has really taught me the power behind a Christ-centered life. John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." 2 Ne. 31:20 "...Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." God bless.

For the sake of the unborn child... it would be better to just love and accept her for who she is. Whether their marriage works out or not, you all need to keep a good relationship with the mother, if you want a good relationship with the child. I was not "good enough" for my husband...according to his family. (I was not included in family pictures for over two years.) Believe me, your new sis-in-law knows that there is disdain there...she might just be trying too hard to gain acceptance into your family. Find her charm (even though you might have to look really hard) and accept the situation for what it is and love and accept her. (and I think you could easily bring up the facebook thing in casual conversation so she knows that you're uncomfortable with some of the boundary breaches) Also really really try to help your mom-in-law to accept her...if not for anything else, to make sure you are able to have a relationship with the child. Also, it might help you in your challenge to try to analyze why she is the way she is. Maybe her own family life isn't the same as how you all were brought up, maybe there are some other things in her background that really would explain a lot of the things she does. If you take the time to try to understand why she is the way she is, it might be easier to accept her.

If you've ever personally seen someone get injured because they weren't wearing a ski helmet...you'd be 100% for ski helmets. There is a reason why people wear helmets on the slopes. Protect your noggin, wear a helmet. You don't know what kind of idiot is going to crash into you like a linebacker. (I used to be on ski patrol...THERE IS A REASON FOR THEM)

I hear ya Yenni. I don't appreciate the hirsutism either, as you can see from my pic.

I was diagonsed with PCOS 5 years ago. It's a little frustrating but there are worse things to have. Yes talking about it while coping does help. This is the highest misdiagnosed syndrome for women unable to conceive. Thanks for the link.

Howdy Bytor. :) P. blessings are a lot like scriptures. None of us are really going to fully understand everything written in them. Many times we will read what we want to read, instead of what the Lord has left there for us. We had a friend who's blessing said he would see the second coming, so he didn't get life insurance...he died in a car accident, leaving his wife and famly with nothing. There are a ton of patriarchal blessings of pioneers and children of prophets, etc, that said "you will be in the flesh to whitness the second coming." Look em up. I'm sure several of them thought that would mean they would see it with their mortal eyes. Just something to think about.

Charley, I know that you didn't mean any harm by this statement. But I just gotta say...Not being able to have children is a HUGE challenge in itself; a challenge that only those in their shoes can understand.

BTW...I have a friend with CFS that has had some great success with vitamin B shots and Cymbalta.

Misshalf! I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. What a crappy holiday season! Yep, it sounds like you totally have CFS. I'm sorry. I have "post west nile syndrome" that has very similar symptoms to CFS (but it has some nerve stuff on top). I've been getting every little flu that has been going around too, and this season it looks like the viruses floating around are fierce! And, the PMS severity...have you been tested to see if you were exposed to West Nile while all this was going on?? Severe PMS/menstrual pain is a very common lasting effect that us West Nile ladies have. I am flat on my back in pain for atleast three days every month now and then my body has to recouperate from the energy used after that. There is another factor that can severely effect PMS...thyroid. That's pretty easy to check with a blood test. If your thyroid is off, your cycles can go from being really mellow to monstrously evil. When I first got sick, my doctor in Colorado started to look for the underlying reasons why I got so sick in the first place. For me, my thyroid was off and they found that my adrenals were really really close to being permanently ruined...and he told me no more work and to just rest rest rest. Viral infections can really impact the arenal system (which impacts everything else in the body), and if the adrenals don't have the necessary time and resources to fix themselves, permanent damage can occur...atleast that's what my doc said causes CFS. Without healthy adrenals, everything else in the body is just out of whack. I myself am still looking for a good doctor here in UT. If you are willing to share any docs, please feel free to PM me. :) Good luck my dear friend.

YAY Bethie! ((HUGS)) That is so exciting! Baptism is such a wonderful experience.

Hi JeanaMarie. :) We did what you did. He just wore his wedding ring when we got engaged. Some of his more traditional friends thought it was a little wierd but we both thought it was a great idea.

Hi Secretsister. You are a strong woman who is very courageous! Until he is able to make changes within himself, stay away and move on. If anything, do it for your daughter. Staying in limbo for months and years is seriously really unhealthy for not only you, but for her as well. I spent my childhood in an abusive situation. By the time my mother was able to leave my dad, the damage to the us kids and to her was already done. My mom was so screwed up from 8 years of this kind of stuff (mind games and physical altercations) that she wasn't able to be a mother to me or my siblings. She spent years and years going back and forth ("I love him, but he's not changing".) and trying to figure out what was wrong with her, when in reality is was him that was screwed up. But he tried every controlling manipulative trick in the book to keep her under his thumb...if one trick failed, he'd move to the next and to the next until he succeeded. It took her a good 10 years and tons of therapy to figure it all out and by that time we were already grown up...and repeating these patterns. I modeled that kind of guy to date...and I ended up in a few bad relationships putting up with the same kinds of behavior and abuse. I had subconciously decided that my future spouse would hit me but I wouldn't let my kids see it...that living in fear and being punished was something I deserved(what kind of a future is THAT?!) It took me years of dating to finally figure out that I had a right to walk away from these kinds of guys. My father then went on to get married again with a lady who had a couple kids. My step mom would tell us all that we were crazy and liars...that he would never hit her or her kids. Sure enough, 5 years into their marriage he did the same thing to them...and now she and her kids are in the same situation we were in 10 years ago. They're totally screwed up, she has been slowly molded into a woman I don't even recognize. The kids are all screwed up and her boys are exuding the same kind of dominance on their wives. It is absolutely horrible and painful to watch. I guess what I'm trying to say is to please stay away from him for the sake of your daughter. These kinds of patterns (if allowed to happen) can continue on and on for generations.

Interesting perspective, A-Train. Thanks.

Just wanna make sure I understand you correctly...you would like to see welfare be a purely donation-type system? (I don't) Do you support tax relief for the poor and a little more tax responsibility for the uber rich?...to alleviate the stress on the middle class? (I do) You have more confidence in those most capable to give than I do. Throughout history, the wealthy has not been a source of charity, but rather tyrany and oppression. Generally this social class is not a class of Christlike characteristics. We have seen this in action in the past 8 years with the tax break for the wealthy. I have seen the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I didn't see these people "freely donating" to the needy. Seeing what "non-government people of power" have done in the stock market and housing market...I suspect the charity thing would be just as screwed up as the government has it right now, only it would happen a lot faster. I think independent charities are a fantanstic option for people and I am so glad that they are out there. What a lot of people don't realize is they receive money from their state and federal government in the form of subsodies and grants every year. Without government contributions, many of them would go belly-up. Unfortunately these independent charities are always one of the first things to go when the economy weakens. I have seen a dozen charities forced to close their doors in just the past two months...where are the people to swoop in to "freely give" right now? They're holding onto their money tighter than ever to maintain their quality of life. Then the government's assistance is inevitable and because we live in such an unChristlike world, the governemtn has to even increase their help (for example, the extension of unemployment benefits, opening more homeless shelters, etc).

I agree with most of your perspective, although you and I have different concepts of the term "slave". There must be a way to help our needy and eliminate the likelihood of slowly adding and growing that system. (moderation in all things) I think our own system has been slowly plundered and corrupted over the years. I would like to see it get back to what it was originally intended to do. Back in the days of the scriptures...church and government were far more intertwined than it is now. There was generally one religion for a people, so their government was also their faith. In this nation with so many different faiths, having faith rule government is not a possibility...so how else are we to help the needy? Do we just let them starve and die?

Mosiah 18:27 And again Alma commanded that the people of the church should impart of their substance, every one according to that which he had; if he have more abundantly he should impart more abundantly; and of him that had but little, but little should be required; and to him that had not should be given. 4 Ne. 1: 3 And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.

Couldn't agree more. Many see this ideal as theft...that's what I take issue with. Just read my previous post...sorry. It was a little more heated than I intended.

I love reading your posts A-Train...they're always so well written and you make a lot of sense. BUT, I have family that are in Sweden... they're not Slaves. Their quality of life is better than most of ours here in the states. (I'm not socialist, I'm just sayin)