carter_kun

Members
  • Posts

    7
  • Joined

  • Last visited

carter_kun's Achievements

  1. Yeah you guys are right it's not brain washing. I think conditioning would be a better term, as one could take that in a good way or bad way. I've had my doubts about the church my whole life but have pushed through because, nobody is perfect and you can never reach a point where you know everything so much that you know it's true. But with all these things stacked up and this added on, it doesn't seem to work for me. I prayed last night because I do believe that there is a God regardless of what religion you're in or whatever. I just asked to know what was wrong and right. I read The Holy Temple before my visit and just today after I originally posted this. It didn't provide much input and seemed to just reciprocate what everyone had told me, that it was the best experience ever and you felt the spirit so much. I have studied a little bit of Buddhist material over the past few years and I have actually found that I have advanced spiritually so much more studying that as somewhat of a supplement to the Book of Mormon and Bible, and all of the church teachings. I know that in the church it is frowned upon to look into other religions, but that seems rather close minded. Joseph Smith himself looked into every church he possibly could and never found one, so he made one. I would never make a new church, but I think finding one that furthers your spiritual progress is the best, right? To try and be like Jesus and help your fellow man seems to be the meaning of life, for me anyways. And by fulfilling that, we can make it to heaven. That's what I've learned throughout all my years and what I learned in the temple is completely contrary to that, which makes me question it extremely.
  2. Well I understand why the rites would be important if it was the real deal, I understand everything. But that is up in the head. The feeling of it not being right comes from the soul. I don't want to go on a mission because if I was telling people how amazing the church was (the church itself is great) i would feel like I would be cheating them because the temple, what seems to be our greatest goal, was really not that great. I had a period of time where I didn't want to serve a mission and my family was very angry with me. If I denounce the temple, I can only imagine how mad they will be. Also, I thought the temple process would be much more spiritual, but it turned out to be 100 percent religious, which is usually what I have found separates our church from others. I thought I would be receiving further instructions to help benefit myself and others to serve and do the things needed to become like Jesus, but instead ended up swearing to things I didn't agree to and learning things I felt were not necessary to my salvation or eternal life.
  3. Hey there. I'm 18 and am scheduled to go on a mission on December 17th, but something happened yesterday that shattered my faith and testimony. I went through the temple and received my endowments. The whole duration while I was there, I had the worst feeling, and felt like nothing I was doing was right. While it all made sense to me and I understood everything, nothing felt like it was the right thing to do and that I shouldn't be there. But I went through with it anyway, due to the sheer amount of pressure placed upon me from my family and friends, and even my teacher that was getting get endowments at the same time. I didn't feel right about what I did, and now I feel disgusting that I'm wearing garments. I still can't shake the feeling that none of it was good, and that I didn't feel the spirit there, or at least not in the way everyone else claims they do. I wasn't happy, and I'm not happy now. Going through the temple seemed to break my testimony, and now I'm not sure I can go on a mission and teach people about how great the church is knowing that the temple ordinances I partook in weren't the right thing to be doing. I'm worried that if I tell my parents they will be extremely disappointed, and so will the rest of my family and friends. Living in Utah, a lot of pressure is placed on me to do the "right thing" but how can I when it isn't right? I want to be a good example, because I am the oldest child on both sides of the family, but I can't be an example when I know that these things aren't good for my spiritual well being. What should I do? I prayed last night that I would know what to do, and what was right and wrong, and still can't shake the thought that the temple experience I had was not good in any way. I'm not having that "stupor of thought" and keep feeling gross and, quite frankly, hating myself for what I did inside the temple. I've been a Mormon my whole life, never questioning anything. But now, it feels so wrong. And don't get me wrong I still believe in a lot of the stuff, including baptism, the sacrament, and basically every other LDS doctrine and practice. But I felt so wrong in the temple, and I still do now. What should I do...?
  4. That is kind of hard to understand without the hand movements and stuff, but yeah. My parents have been married for 13 years. They are probably at the furthest part of the triangle right now, and they are constantly getting in fights over the stupidest things, like "You weren't paying attention to my signals of where the car was!" and "That is all you care about Scott! Soccer soccer soccer!" and other stuff. Usually the fights are on Sunday's which is really sad. So yeah. You and your husband have to try and survive the ends of the triangle so you can get to the tip, and be happy together. I hope that wasn't too confusing.
  5. STORY Well, I was on a website and I had two accounts(first mistake), which will get you banned off of the website anyway, and they thought the two people were different people. I couldn't handle two accounts anymore so I lied on a post and said that one of them had died of skin cancer(second mistake) (which I actually can get if I'm not careful) and that the other one was taking over the one that died. People got all sad and said prayers (third mistake. Really big mistake) and made memorial pictures. Well people started investigating what happened, and most of them started saying it was a very unlikely story. And so I sent a message to one of the moderators there confessing what I did. She posted a thread saying I wasn't dead. I got to read it, but then shortly after I was banned for 30 days. And I don't dare go back, because everyone hates me now. They made comments on my profile and sent me email saying I was an F***ing jerk, and that they hated me. I don't think they will ever forgive me no matter what I do, and (it is a gaming community) no one would like the games I created no matter how good they were. And most of the people on those forums belong to tons of other gaming forums like that too, and they would make a big deal about it there if I signed up and I would get banned from that site. I have no idea what to do. Should I go back after the 30 day ban and see what happens, or never go back at all? I feel like an idiot now and I am constantly listening to sad music because I feel stupid. It seems all of the mods and admins and the high rated people are forgiving me, but all the ordinary members aren't. I really need your advice on this.:sorry:wow you guys have really good emotes
  6. Sweet! This place looks good. Anyway, my name is Carter and my username is carter_kun! If you are wondering what my picture is, it is Sasuke, a person from the popular anime show, Naruto. Well, I don't know why I came here, but I will find something to do! Oh yeah, is this just a religous forum, or is it general stuff too? Oh yeah I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, so yeah:)