Hey there. I'm 18 and am scheduled to go on a mission on December 17th, but something happened yesterday that shattered my faith and testimony. I went through the temple and received my endowments. The whole duration while I was there, I had the worst feeling, and felt like nothing I was doing was right. While it all made sense to me and I understood everything, nothing felt like it was the right thing to do and that I shouldn't be there. But I went through with it anyway, due to the sheer amount of pressure placed upon me from my family and friends, and even my teacher that was getting get endowments at the same time. I didn't feel right about what I did, and now I feel disgusting that I'm wearing garments. I still can't shake the feeling that none of it was good, and that I didn't feel the spirit there, or at least not in the way everyone else claims they do. I wasn't happy, and I'm not happy now. Going through the temple seemed to break my testimony, and now I'm not sure I can go on a mission and teach people about how great the church is knowing that the temple ordinances I partook in weren't the right thing to be doing. I'm worried that if I tell my parents they will be extremely disappointed, and so will the rest of my family and friends. Living in Utah, a lot of pressure is placed on me to do the "right thing" but how can I when it isn't right? I want to be a good example, because I am the oldest child on both sides of the family, but I can't be an example when I know that these things aren't good for my spiritual well being. What should I do? I prayed last night that I would know what to do, and what was right and wrong, and still can't shake the thought that the temple experience I had was not good in any way. I'm not having that "stupor of thought" and keep feeling gross and, quite frankly, hating myself for what I did inside the temple. I've been a Mormon my whole life, never questioning anything. But now, it feels so wrong. And don't get me wrong I still believe in a lot of the stuff, including baptism, the sacrament, and basically every other LDS doctrine and practice. But I felt so wrong in the temple, and I still do now. What should I do...?