Indyrm03

Members
  • Posts

    4
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Indyrm03's Achievements

  1. Hello, as was stated I need help and advice. My boyfriend and I have been talking alot about marriage and I feel that I am going to be engaged very soon and married during the summer. My mom is a convert and no one in her family are members and they partake in MANY worldly pleasures. Although my Mom goes to church and the temple, there are things that she questions about the doctrine and standards of the church. My Mom's Mom passed away last week so my Mom went to be with her family. She has been gone for about a week and hasn't called us yet and that is definatly not like her to not call every night. Today I learned through my cousin Bridget, whom I trust compleatly, that my Mom has been getting drunk all week with her family. My mom told Bridget not to tell my sister and I, but Bridget knows about the standards of the church. Bridget said she thought we should know about mom not living up to the standards. I am SOOOO UPSET and DEVESTATED to know that my Mom COMPLETLY broke the Word of Wisdom and is not worthy to go to the temple for my wedding. I have NO IDEA what to do or tell her. We aren't suppose to know that she has been drinking all week. I don't know how we can get her to repent without letting her know that Bridget told us. I don't think I can let her come to my sealing if she is not worthy to be at the temple. I am so heartbroken and so confused about what to do about her and my wedding.
  2. Thank-you all for your advice!!!! I will take all of the advice and put it into the relationship. Mahone to answer your question, the website is a Yahoo Group for LDS people who have Asperger's or Autism or have loved one who do. Here is the website LDS_Aspergers : LDS_Aspergers They say that having a spouse with Asperger's is extreamly difficult and most of them say that they would NEVER recommend being with someone who had Asperger's. Most of them say their marriages are disasters and it takes them decades to finally really come to love their spouce. I have asked Ted out about 10 times (mostly through text messaging or at church) and he has always said yes so far. We are going out Saturday night to an LDS band compitition and a costume dance afterwards. A few weeks ago, we went to a ward Sadies Hawkins dance where we dressed as a famous couple. We went as Fred and Wilma Flintstone. We made the costumes ourselves and had a great time. We even won a trophy (Ted kept it) for Best Couple. Tarnished: Thank-you for recommending the movie. I will definatly look for it and watch it. Loudmouthed_Mormon: Thank-you for encouragment to ask Ted what he wants. I guess I am afraid to push him away like I did last time. I should get over my fear and just ask him. If me asking him is going to run him off, I guess he really doesn't want me. I'll try to gather all my courage and ask him that when we go out together tomorrow night. Beefche: Yes, I do understand Ted needs a different pace. What I meant by saying that he wasn't going at a normal pace is that many people who dont understand his needs tells me I should dump him because he isn't progressing like a normal relationship. I don't want to dump him just because he is not going at a normal pace like society thinks he should. I'm sorry for that confusion. I didn't think about Ted not getting the same answers I have been getting for over 2 years. I guess I will talk to Ted tomorrow night when we are together and ask him what he feels. Thank-you for your encouragment. MorningStar: I have to agree with you on people on the Autism Spectrum are defiantly completly obedient at least it is that way for Ted. I didn't think about my touch could make him feel disobedient. I will have to talk to him and ask what his feelings are on touch. I leared my mistake by pushing too much last year. Now that he has started to come back to me over the past 9 months, I have always let him make the moves. I haven't tried holding his hand at all or touch him. I have asked him out about 8 times in non-threatning ways and to non-threatning situations. He has agreed to go out each time. I will work on my bluntness so it will be easier for us to both know what we expect. PrinceOfLight2000: That would be great if I could have contact with someone who understands Asperger's better then me. I would love to have help, advice and encouragement from her.
  3. Hello! My name is Amber and I am 30 years old. My boyfriend, Ted (age 29) has Asperger's Syndrome. We both attend the same YSA ward and we have attended the same stake for over 20 years. I am looking for advice on how to understand Ted better and how to have a successful relationship. I asked for help on an LDS Asperger's site and they basically all said that it would be a mistake to get into a relationship with someone who has Aspergers. I hope I can get better advice here because I LOVE Ted and I KNOW that I am suppose to marry him. We first began dating in August of 2008 when our Singles Ward held a girl ask guy dance. I had the strong impression that I needed to ask Ted to the dance. I followed the impression and asked and he agreed. We had an AMAZING time at the dance and agreed to go out some more. We dated for 3 months before he broke up with me. I have to agree that I pushed WAYYYY to hard and fast for him in those 3 months. I grabbed and held his hand an kept telling him that I loved him. When I did those things Ted would become stiff and distant but I continued to push him. When he broke up with me I realized that I had forgot all about his different needs and how he had to have a different pace then normal relationships. Ted basically ignored me for the next 13 long months. All that time I continued to have strong impressions that I was suppose to marry him. I had missed not being around him and not going out anymore. In December of 2009, Ted began to make tiny steps to come back to me. He began sitting next to me in church and talking to me again. Although he still hasn't held my hand or kissed me yet, I think our relationship is going good. I understand that Ted needs a relationship to go at a much different pace then normal relationships. I am willing to wait for him to make all of the moves and set the pace but I don't know if I should make any moves too. Like I said, we have been back together since Christmas but our relationship hasn't progressed to normal standards. Ted's Asperger's doesn't seem to effect him as much as other people who have Asperger's. Most people who have Asperger's are negetive and anti-social. Ted is always possitive, friendly, happy and always has a smile. Ted is really smart as he makes a living as an Accountant. He is devoted to the gospel and serves faithfully as the ward clerk. He does have a few social difficulties such as not making eye contact with people when he talks and he has a hard time starting conversations. If a person starts the conversation then he becomes a chatter-box. Can anyone give me ideas on what I can do to help and understand Ted? Can I make the move to hold his hand? Can I make the move to share a hymnbook at church with him? Can I ask him out since he has asked me out already? Or do you think I should wait for him to do all of those things so I don't scare him off? I don't want to ruin our relationship like I did the first time but I also want to make sure our relationship doesn't stall. Any and all help would be much appreciated!!! Thanks!!! ALSO, Are there any books or websites that I can look at that helps me with dating someone with Asperger's Syndrome? I found a few books on Borders.com about being in a relationship with someone with Aspergers, but it would be nice to have books that give an LDS perspective.
  4. Hello! My name is Amber, I am 30 years old and live in Orange County California. I live with my Grandpa, older brother and twin sister. I go to a YSA Ward (for only 4 more months) and I have been dating my boyfriend, Ted, for the past 2 years. Ted has Aspergers so we have to take things REALLY SLOW, but I love him and he is worth the wait. I served a misson to Indiana in 2002-2003. After I came home, I took care of my Grandma, who had Alzheimers. She passed away 2 1/2 years ago so now I take care of my Grandpa full time. In my free time, I love to read (children's and YA books), make dolls, go to Disneyland (I LOVE Disneyland) and spend time with family and friends.