theBUBBAMANcan

Members
  • Posts

    17
  • Joined

  • Last visited

theBUBBAMANcan's Achievements

  1. I agree with what you said...but there is also some value in throwing these questions out to the world ...sometimes you get some good responses. That doesn't mean that the internet is making my life decisions for me.
  2. Prayer and talking to friends/relatives have led me in the same direction.
  3. I'm in the process of getting a divorce. I found out that my wife was having an affair. We have 3 kids and have been married 8 years. Filing for a divorce was the most difficult decision of my life...mostly because I hate to do anything that causes pain to my children. My wife has had problems with alcoholism for her whole life, and she is not dealing with it. The problem has been actually getting much worse over the years. I hate to imagine how it would be to still be with her in another 10 yrs. I had a dream a few nights ago. In it, I spoke with my father...who has been deceased since '93. I asked him in this dream if I was doing the right thing. He said nothing but just nodded his head "yes". This dream haunts me. I usually don't even remember my dreams. Should I give any meaning to this dream?
  4. Divorcing dad here with three kids... The church has been my rock thru my marital problems and helping me get thru my divorce. I need it...my kids live with me!
  5. White guy checking in... If/when I get married I will be looking at, as MLK said, the content of her character...not the color of her skin. If Heavenly Father blesses me with the love of a good LDS woman I will spend my time being thankful rather than worrying about skin color, lol
  6. She has repented. If Heavenly Father can forgive her I think you can too. Personally, if I were you...I'd forgive/forget and marry the girl. You have said nothing in your post that leads me to believe she won't make a great wife.
  7. I'm going thru a divorce too...and I know all about the emotional roller-coaster ride and sleepless nights. Prayers for you!
  8. Hello, I am scheduled for my baptism but I've been really concerned about my ability to tithe. My wife and I are flat broke. We both work, but we have 3 young kids (plus I pay child support on a fouth). We both work but by the time we pay day care, my child support, etc we have nothing left. We have no savings and no retirement whatsoever. We do not go out to eat, have never taken a vacation, we do not drive nice cars, buy nice clothes or have fancy things. We have almost nothing that can be cut of our budget (cable bill = $20/mo...we use cell phones only, no land phone line, etc). Anything you can say to help me make this leap of faith...let me hear it!
  9. UPDATE: My dunking is scheduled for Sat, 11/22 @7:PM!
  10. Dec, I wish that I could make your search simpler for you. All I can say is that FAITH is all about what's in your heart...not your head. Living by the Word of Wisdom is an excellent place to start. Prayers are answered. Good luck, Bubbaman
  11. I've decided to make the leap. The missionaries have been suggesting that the time is right to get baptized...and tonight I agreed! I have been meeting with missionaries since July. Since then, I have seen a lot of change in myself, my marriage and my family. I have been blessed. Thanks for reading!
  12. Thanks Georgia2...I agree with both postings! An immediate sense of peace has been restored to my home since she left. Ashley is angry right now, but underneath she knows she has been the cause of her own misery. She CHOSE not to do her college work and she CHOSE to waste her time partying. I simply responded by CHOSING to get some control back of the household that our little kids have to live in.
  13. This whole situation will give me a good chance to test this idea. :) Thanks everyone for all of your replies. All of you had something to say that I can learn something from. I think it is going to take a long time to get to a "happy ending" to this situation. Ashley has plenty of family members that care about her. Her whole family on her dad's side are LDS and have been trying to help. My wife and I are telling her the same things that she's hearing from the rest of her family; that she has a problem. Her attitude right now is that she is too young to take life seriously and she is convinced that she has "plenty of time" grow up at some future date. I had hoped that her "rock bottom" would be her car accident. Sadly, she still is not willing to recognize that she has a problem.
  14. I would welcome suggestions concerning my 19-yr old stepdaughter. I'll try to make a long story short. I am married to a wonderful woman and we have 3 little kids (6 yr old girl, 4 yr old boy and 10 month old boy) along with my step-daughter. My step-daughter's name is Ashley and she is having a lot of problems. The root cause is mostly due to her father being in prison at Leavenworth for making/selling meth. He has been a addict for a very long time and will now be in prison for many years before he gets a parole hearing. Ashley loves her dad and his problems are tearing her apart. She keeps moving in & out of our home. She bounces back and forth from place to place because she is unwilling to live by anyones rules. She has drug and alcohol problems, is an admitted alcoholic and can't stay out of trouble with the law. She spent a year in college in Utah and dropped out with a 1.81 GPA. She begged for a second chance at college, so we gave it to her. She gave me her solemn word that she would take college seriously and complete at least 12 credit hours and get at least a 3.0 GPA. Her intended major was nursing (RN). We enrolled her at a local tech college here in WI, but she refused to do any of the work, so the school "dropped" her out. A few days ago, she went back to her native IA to visit her grandma and drive with grandma to Leavenworth to visit her dad. The road trip also gave her an opportunity to party, which she did. Well...she ended up in a serious car accident. She was drunk & high. She will be okay but the car we gave her 3 mos ago is, of course, totalled. She will also have legal issues to deal with in IA along with some legal issues she already had here in WI. She is convinced that she will lose her license, and probably has not told us the whole story. She said she doesn't remember how the accident occurred. We live in a very small apartment and have very limited means. It was difficult for us to afford to get her started in college, which lasted for less than a month. She had been coming home drunk and stoned and sharing a bed with my 1st grade daughter...which has infuriated me! I told Ashley that she cannot move back in with us since she broke her word about college. In truth...part of my reason was that I can't stand her being drunk and stoned around the little ones and she can't respect my feelings on that matter. Her addictions have rendered her incapable of making decent moral decision...IMHO. Any suggestions? Do you feel that I did the right thing? Ashley accuses me of treating her different because she's not my "real" daughter...but I don't feel that this is fair. I feel that I have a right to hold her accountable for a decent standard of behavior while living in my home. She refuses to abide by any rules. She is a good person at heart...really. However, she has problems with alcohol and drugs that bring out the worst in her. She will not go to treatment and she does not admit that she is in over her head.