momof5

Checkerboy that was funny!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

From what I learned today it is. Because you are dealing with the creation of souls. But ONLY if it is not your spouses. They want you to consider adoption. You are completely allowed to do IVF if it is of you and your spouse. Those souls are already here with bodies.

You all write a lot in just a few days! I thank you all for our input. It does help to get other opinions. So my husband and I went to see our Bishop today because this was something weighing on our minds. He read us out of the handbook that is strictly for stake pres, bishops and gen. authorities. There is nothing about IVF other than saying that using antoher man's sperm is not approved and is disiplinary if you go through with it. We used our own eggs and sperm so that doesn't apply to us. Then he went on and read about sperm donation (not allowed), Surrogacy (not allowed) and abortion (not allowed) after he read about that to us he counciled us on what he thought we should do. He did say that we need to look at donation as a form of surrogacy and NOT adoption. He does have a medical background by the way and said that since a woman naturally gets rid of fertilized eggs on it's own (which is why they implant more than one embryo at a time) that destroying them would be the same as it happening naturally. He also said that no one knows when the spirit enters the body. Then he also said that as far as donation to medical research would be the same as donation of your organs after you die. He said it was a personal decision. My concern with the whole destroying the embryos would be abortion and he assured that it was not. With all of this in mind we have decided to wait and keep them frozen until we are POSITIVE that we don't want any more children. The retrieval process was HORRIBLE! Thanks so much for your comments. They have helped a lot.

good point.

i also must say that any family willing to adopt or that are doing ivf or fet (frozen embryo transfer) are going to probably be good parents. They aren't having an unexpected child, they would have wanted them for YEARS. It takes a lot of trying and tests to end up there. If ivf wouldn't have worked for us, we would have gone through adoption. I can't see a person going and abusing this bab that they were blessed with after years of wanting one. Again the main reason for the LDS family is so that the baby is as if it were always their own, Not because I think LDS members are better than anyone else. I also want the baby to grow up in the church. If that is the only thing I can do for them, then so be it.

My oldest sister is biologically my mother's but not my father's. When my dad adopted her my parents were then sealed to her. The church told my parents that because of the sealing, that it was as if my sister was of his bloodline. Further, I'm not just donating eggs, I am donating 5 day old embryos. They are mine and my husbands. Yes another woman would be carrying them and raising them. There would in fact be little babies running around that look like my husband and myself. This is why it is important to me that the babies be sealed to their parents. Does that make sense to you? I've had other friends that have said if Heavenly Father wanted you to have more, you would by faith...I can't agree with that. I don't think Heavenly Father says to someone, you don't get to have children. If that were the case, IVF wouldn't have worked for us in anyway. It would have completely failed. Not only did it not fail, i have a huge number of children that I could never possibly have. I don't want to just throw them out! I could never do that to any of my children. I would rather help someone who can not have babies, There are a lot of couple that have unexplained infertility which means everything works properly, but they just aren't compatible to have children together. Do you say to these people, you just never get to have children...until the life hereafter? These babies are already made. I do see how it is like adoption. Do you say to a single mother who gave her child up that she is doing the wrong thing? I'm not single by any means, but if I don't donate these babies to someone they will die. I can't do that to them.

I will not destroy them. I guess we're going towards donation. I just don't know how to specify that I want them in an LDS family. I do prefer them to go to a sealed couple. I want them to be with whoever they go to forever and I want them to know about Heavenly Father and at least have a chance of growing up in the church. I know that you can't make a child have a testimony, but I grew up in the church and I am so grateful that I did. It prepared me for all of the blessings that have come our way. They are our children, and I want what I had for ALL of my children. Even the little ones that are frozen. I wish there was a website of LDS couples looking for donors!!!

I was in that same situation. You really need to go to him on a good day, let him know that you need to talk and that you have questions that may be hard, but that you aren't judging or looking down in anyway, and that you would like to let him know your feelings, and you'd like to know his. It is VERY important that you have this conversation when you are alone and ONLY if you are not fighting n anyway. Also, remember that you should be prepared for the worst possible case. That way when you hear what you've been dreading (if that's the case) it won't be a shock to you. Keep in mind also that no one is perfect and you are there to love him, support him, and help him. If he is having a drinking problem (Mine was) the one thing he needs from you is love. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. It was in years 2-5 that he was an alcholic. I know from experience that it is a long and hard road. Yelling and screaming, and trying to change him will only push him away. When I gave all of that up and just supported him and loved him UNCONDITIONALLY, that's when everything fell into place. We were sealed in August. It is possible to have a happy ending. Don't give up!

My husband and I have three sons and I am now pregnant with twins. We did IVF due to trauma to my husband after the 3 boys were born. My RE suspected that I would produce around 12 eggs and instead I produced 47! I actually set a record...anyhow, of those 47, 27 fertilized. We did a day 5 embryo transfer and of those 27 eggs 13 made it to a day 5 blastocyst. We implanted 2 an I am pregnant with two. Our problem is that we have 11 grade "A" blasts that we probably won't use. Our RE told us that our options are to either donate them to someone, destroy them, or donate them to medical research. We aren't sure of what to do. My husband and I are extremely active in the church and we are trying to figure out what is best. If we did donate them we would only want to give them to an active sealed couple in the church. Any thoughts? There is no way we can have 11 more babies!!!!