ZionWoman

It's nice to see someone else in a branch on here. We are SMALL. Like I mean, an average sacrament meeting attendance of about 25 where my family makes 20% of that number. I don't think they will call a teacher. We are struggling to cover the basics. I don't think there is much that can be done. That just makes me sad. Poor little boy.

I've started teaching him from the sunbeams manual at home on Mondays when we have some time alone together. I'm really just looking for some reinforcement. I don't even really know what to think. On one hand I see their point. On the other, could they make a greater effort?

Sounds like you are caught in the middle of some tension between your bf and his parents. There is a similar situation in my dh's family. Maybe I can help but I'll just be guessing since I obviously don't know the whole situation. LDS parents teach their boys from a young age that they are to go on a mission. This is usually done at 19. From what I understand your bf hasn't gone? And if he is talking marriage with you he's not likely to. You two have been together for two years? Are you living together? Are you intimate? These are also things that we DO NOT do in the church. We believe that you only have relations after marriage. His parents are probably disappointed in his choices he has made for his own life. It has very little to do with you personally. If he were doing the same with an LDS girl, they would probably feel the same. As for how you feel in the family, a lot of it has to do with you. In my dh's family, I'm the LDS girl married to the Return Missionary and my sister in law is the one who was not LDS and lived him before marriage and he didn't go on a mission, etc. I think my in laws like my sister in law better than me now although they were initially upset by their relationship. Give them time. If you really love him, things will get better because that is the thing you do have in common with his parents. Hope that helps.

I attend a small branch and our primary in very small. There are 4 regularly attending primary and nursery, 2 of which are mine. My one child graduated from nursery to primary this year but has not been moved up. I just found out that they are keeping him in nursery because it's just easier. He wouldn't be able to keep up with the lesson. Because we are so small, there is only the primary presidency. There are three of them and they do all the teaching, sharing time, music, etc. One of them lives an hour away and is often not there at all. I am a little concerned that my son is not being moved up. He is allowed to play in nursery for almost the whole time. It's more like baby sitting or a play date with a short spiritual thought. I don't know what to think. Should I be concerned about this? Should I just let it go? Any thoughts?

Ha! That makes me laugh because I'm now the YW's pres. in my branch and the lesson I taught last week made go "Oh. MY. I hope we move on soon!" It was really focussed the "submit to your husband and be a good little wife and mommy and don't cause a fuss" type of stuff. I will admit that some of the YW lessons in the book can really make your jaw drop and I would really have a problem if it weren't for the other lessons that emphasis your potential in other areas. I don't know of many organizations that are actually sexist that encourage young women to get as much education as they can and develop their talents in ALL areas and allow women to have an opinion in Sunday School and LET THEM GIVE TALKS ON GOSPEL TOPICS FROM THE PULPIT. The truth is the part of life that is likely next for you is marriage and family. YW's is all about making sure you are ready for that enormous responsibility. Sometimes leaders get caught up in the details of somethings and over-emphasis one theme or another. Try to go with an open mind and heart. Know that HF loves you for more than your child bearing/ rearing abilities and listen carefully to ALL the lessons. YW's is about you. You are encouraged to be apart of planning. Make your voice heard and bring up things that interest you.

Me neither. I have had sisters I visit give me the cold shoulder, one actually came right out and said "You'r not my favorite person. You are the last person I would call if I needed something." Wasn't exactly sure what to do with that. Some of my companions were so impossible, I just went without them. I'm not gonna lie, getting along seems to be one the most difficult things of VT for me, although I get along fine with people outside of VT. It is a frustrating thing. I've had VTer who tried to save me from myself and VTer who refused to lift a finger to help my family when I had major surgery following the birth of my son. Clearly it is an imperfect and very human enterprise. I don't know. Maybe it's one of those "perfecting the saints" things and we just aren't perfect enough yet.

I agree with Dravin. You can't ignore it. If the spirit is telling you you need to talk to the Bishop to resolve this, you need to do it. Confession to proper authorities are INTEGRAL steps in repentance. Don't be afraid. There is a way out and it's not as bad as living with guilt. Been there. Good luck.

Tricky. It's a difficult thing to forgive yourself. I struggled a lot before I was married and had some things to repent of. I felt horribly guilty and unworthy for a long time. Once, when it was time for my temple recommend to be renewed, I couldn't do it. I had to tell a new bishop everything again and that I didn't feel I could forgive myself. He asked me to take some time to really think about my repentance. Was I being totally honest about everything? I took some time and prayed a lot. Sometimes we can't move on because we aren't being totally honest about our feelings. This may not be the case with you and if it isn't just give yourself time. You also have to recognize that you are only human. You have weaknesses. It has been said that everyone struggles with something. This is your struggle. I had to remove myself completely from the things that used to go hand in hand with my struggle. If this means that you can't be close friends with men then maybe that's what you need to eliminate. The looming chance that it might happen again is something that held me back from forgiving myself because I felt that I could fall again at any moment. I was that weak in that area. I had to pray and ask the Lord to make it a strength and show me how. I can honestly say now that this area is a real strength for me. It took a lot of work and a lot of tears, soul searching and very tough decisions but I made it through. Someone also once told me that you will have to go through Gethsemane and back before it is over. That was true for me. Keep doing everything you should be. Ask HF for strength to forgive yourself and it will come. It took me years. Be patient.

I know exactly how you feel. I have had so many music callings, I can't even remember them all and, because talent and ego are an inherent part of music, some of these callings have been very painful. I think bishops sometimes look at the person and think "they are well suited to that calling" and the spirit says "yep, they are" and that's how we get these callings. Your talents and abilities often come into it. If you have had enough, don't be shy about speaking up. When I moved into a ward once I had just come from a very bad experience being the choir leader and said straight up "I need a break from leading choir" and they had no problem. You are human. We all get burned out and nursery certainly is a calling that can burn you out! You may want to go to RS and get to know that sisters! There is nothing wrong with how you feel!

Good on ya! I talked to my husband about it before we got married too. I did not want ugliness brought in through video games. We agreed to keep our game systems to Nintendo varieties bc I like Mario Bros. Games but that all games would have to be G-rated (this was before the rating system - wow did I just make myself look old?) He complies, mostly. I think his weekly online game involves blowing other people to pieces. :o:o

Then maybe you can help us? What can we do? We so lonely!

Awesome.

When my kids are in the car, I like to listen to some of their favorites but honestly, I can't do it all the time. Sometimes I drive as a break from the day. I take the kids with me because I have to. During these trips, I like to listen to talk radio. Currents events, news and stuff. Is that wrong? Should I not expose my 4 year old daughter and 1 year old son to that?

Wait, it's been 4 1/2 years since your baby died? Have you had a baby since then? If so, no wonder he leans on you, you must the emotionally strongest person in the world! You also reach the top of the list for not losing it during that whole ordeal. Listen, you can't be a good wife bottling your feelings. Bottling only works for food and drink, okay maybe the occasional cosmetic... but you need to find a safe place and let everything out before it eats you up! If there isn't church social services where you live (there isn't here) just find a good therapist or grief councilor. If you don't want to include your husband, you don't have to. You have to be okay yourself to be strong for your family. Praying for the for you.

I'm just thinking about this a lot and I wondered exactly how common this problem is. Does your husband spend hours and hours on the computer/x-box/Wii gaming? Does he come home from work, peck on the cheek, wave to the kids and disappear into the basement/den/computer room and not emerge again until late in the night?