I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this, but I'll share it for you and for others who may read this. In the past few General Conferences, there have been many talks concerning the healing power of the Atonement. While this isn't really anything new, the speakers have begun to go out of their way to specifically mention the fact that Jesus' suffering and death ultimately cancel every possible affliction that we may experience in this life. The Bible tends to focus on things like bodily illness or, in order words, purely physical challenges. However, these talks teach us that illnesses of an emotional nature are covered just as fully. By that, I refer to your depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. I'll admit that I can't relate to the challenge you have with attraction to others, but I certainly can relate to the challenge of depression. I want to offer you my testimony that God loves you. If what you say about your own testimony is true, then I have to believe that your family loves you as well and, like Heavenly Father, is ready and willing to help. Through them, you can learn to live with yourself. There are other habits and sins that are far more destructive physically and spiritually than being gay. This is not to say that what you are going through is easy or simple, but that you are not alone. As with any sin, complete conquest over it is something of an ideal that is incredibly hard to achieve in this life. To completely obliterate the desire or impulse to commit sin is probably something that only Christ Himself accomplished. Know that God does not require you to simply ignore this and pretend like it never happened or that it doesn't bother you. Acknowledge it, and do your very best to make progress every day. Rely on your faith in Jesus Christ, and in His ability to tie up the loose ends.
