InnerGold
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Posts posted by InnerGold
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This is true. The manual does focus on a higher being because we are much less. The manual also focuses on training the brain to control the triggers and increase the strength of the pre-frontal cortex. The logical thinking portion of the brain. This is crucial.
Thank you Pushka. I would appreciate any feedback for improving our system. Please send me a private message of feedback.
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Pam, I wished this was the case for most home teachers. Really trying but schedules just don't work out.
A good home teacher will not let it lie. If you try to get into the home, and it is not working out. Figure out what will! There has been a few times I have missed but when I do, I call them on the phone. I ask them how they are doing on their goals. How is the job? Are they still financially ok? When would be a good time to come and do some service, etc. You don't have to always get in the home to be a good home teacher. You have to show that you care. Show that you want to help. If they need their grass mowed, they don't have to be home. Just Do IT!
It is far to easy to say, " I tried but was not able to get ahold of them." This is sometimes very true but for the most part it is the escape goat. I tried, (translation: I drove by the house or called once and you weren't home)
I am sorry, I don't see much of a good excuse for not doing your home teaching. Again, if you try to get in the home and do not succeed, be creative and help them, show them you care. The point is, be a friend and not a phony friend.
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Mandarin, I was thinking more about your post last night and I did a little bit of study. If you read all of Proverbs 28, everything that is being referred to is not to put the trust in man but put the trust in the Lord in all things.
Then the next question is: How can I hear the Lord? That is when you need to research how Heavenly Father answers prayers. You can do a lot of scriptural research on Scriptures with a click of the button instead of changing pages.
I hope this can help you towards your quest. It is a noble one.
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Yes, a person can always turn to Heavenly Father. That is always the first person but don't be surprised if the answer comes from a home teacher. At least, this is the full intent of home teaching. I sure wished people could catch the real vision behind home teaching. It really is an inspiration.
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I am so glad Berrean that you have someone who is helping you. Please let your therapist know about the InnerGold system. It will help him to be even better. A person can never stop gaining an education. We are continuously looking for ways to help more and more people.
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Yes, there are many pieces of Jungian psychology throughout the InnerGold System such as projection, the shadow, understanding the sub-conscious part of our brain etc. but there are so many more components to the InnerGold System than just based on Jung.
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do you address how ecclesiastical leaders can deal better with wives and other family members? Or perhaps at least address the need set of people who are married to and perhaps being manipulated by an addict?
I asked this question to the founder of InnerGold and this was his response:
Absolutely. I have some good experience as I have done so many women's groups. I know what they are saying what issues come up for them and so forth. I will definitely be addressing this. We can do a question and answer session at the end of the presentation. Even if I have to stay after for 3 hours, I will answer their questions.
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Being a home teacher is absolutely wonderful, if done correctly. I love home teaching. Yes, I know I am weird but I do. You are in the position to really help people and to be a friend. You asked for some suggestions:
1) Give each member of the family a challenge for growth
It does not always have to be religious. For example, one of the members of a family I home teach was failing a class, I just asked him to set some goals and would follow up on the goals he set each week.
2) Listen verbally and non-verbal
Don't assume everything is ok. There are a lot of people that don't share their feelings or their struggles so you really have to watch for the non-verbal cues.
3) Don't wait until the last minute
There is nothing more frustrating and aggravating to someone to feel like they are only being visited because you have to. Go on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd Sunday. This already shows your different than most home teachers and instant trust can be gained.
4) Don't be all about business become a friend
Yes, your supposed to share a message and be spiritual strength but a lot of strength can come to a person that really becomes a friend.
5) Love them
Develop love for them. Help them. Don't ask what they need help with. Look for ways to help them. Then when they are really in need, they will call you.
6) Be prepared
Don't wait until the last minute to study the First Presidency lesson. Read it and pray about it to figure how you can cater the message to the family.
7) Don't neglect the kids
How boring to sit and listen to a bunch of grown-ups talk. Yes, you need to talk but don't forget them. Cater every other lesson to them. Get down on your knees and speak eye to eye.
If you do all of these, you will be considered the Superman of home teaching. Also, great blessings will come to you for your faithfulness.
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I have seen it. It is very disturbing about the real facts.
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Pornography breaks down our logical thinking part of the brain so if someone is an addict what normally is appalling, disgusting, absolutely ludicrous, becomes a trigger. A trigger is anything that causes the addict to want to act out. Therefore, some addicts, having lost the strength for logical thinking are triggered by children. This is, unfortunately, why we are having more child/sex abuse in the world. This is why it is essential to build up and strengthen the logical (pre-frontal cortex) portion of the brain. That way an addict can recognize the triggers and put them in their place, logically.
Here is my disclaimer: Please understand, I am not a psychologist. I am only someone who is desirous to help addicts change and I have been doing a lot of research.
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yes!
I just posted another thread, "Ask questions about pornography addiction." This way we can make sure we address all of the questions at the conference. I appreciate any and all feed back!
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Also, to answer your question earlier, InnerGold has just completed their LDS Version of the InnerGold System
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We are in the process of putting all of this together for this specific workshop but I know that this program will help all involved with pornography or sexual addiction, whether they are the addict or family. The more a person understands the brain and addiction, the better they can help and be helped. Please watch this presentation on addiction. "Pornography the Perfect Poison" this will help give you a better idea about InnerGold. Also look through our FAQ's, this will help answer some of your questions, hopefully. If not, you can ask your specific questions about their program on their forum.
I have to run really quick but I will be back to answer any more of your questions.
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Now you know exactly how Joseph Smith felt. It is very confusing. I went on my mission to Michigan and, at the time, they produced 90% of all anti-mormon literature. I was land blasted with everything you could possibly think of. I was confronted by all faiths by people with guns, etc. In actuality, the more persecution the church receives the stronger my testimony grows. Think about it, what other church has people out picketing about us going to hell if we don't change our ways. I cannot think of any! Why?
The funny thing is everything the Gospel stands for is good. Law of Chastity, Word of Wisdom, Fast Offerings, I could go on and on. What is wrong with standing up for moral code? What is wrong with standing up for a healthy lifestyle and abstain from coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco, etc? All of these things are good and good for the body. However, people are constantly ridiculing the Gospel for being old fashion. The thing they don't understand is, "The Gospel" is not man's church it is our Saviors.
There is a lot of negative out there about the church. Some of it I am sure is true but again, the Church is True not the people. We each have our faults. I know I still feel awful for someone that I teased when I was younger. I sure hope I did not cause him to leave the Gospel but I never saw him again. I wish I could find that person and apologize. Youth foibles!
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Letting everyone know!
Please let all your Bishops, Stake Presidents, Seventies, family, friends et. know. I am so excited. InnerGold is going to be presenting about pornography and sexual addiction, in June, so still a little ways out but we want to get the ball rolling.
It is not to sell their services, No! It is to help give ecclesiastical leaders instruction on how to handle someone addicted Pornography and Sex. Most leaders, counselors don't handle treatment of addiction the correct way. A lot of the time they tell you to just STOP, if an addict could they would. Nonetheless, the person walks out feeling good because they have just confessed. However, deep down the addicts brain is going into survival mode and essentially causing it to panic. The addicts brain has been trained to use pornography/sex to cope with Boredom, Loneliness, Anger, Stress and being Tired. The brain (specifically the limbic system, survival portion of the brain) starts saying no, no you can't do that, how will I help you to relax?
We hope to give ecclesiastical leaders the training they need to start really helping people overcome this addiction.
This is a huge battle and it is getting greater and greater so InnerGold is going to be very aggressive about education.
P.S.
This training will be for all denominations so if you know someone, please let them know.
P.P.S
The location, time will be announced later.
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Mandarin, the constant draw to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through out your life is part of an answer. Don't discount it. I grew up with the gospel and kept expecting some overwhelming answer because everyone kept saying. Pray, read, go to church and you will get your answer. What I did not realize is I was feeling the spirit continuously throughout my life because I was trying to be the best person I could be so it was difficult to recognize answers.
It wasn't until I was working in a store one day and I was fixing a VCR (old way of playing videos). I did not have an overwhelming feeling but as I was working everything just pieced together like a perfect jigsaw. I saw how Joseph Smith fit in. I saw how the Book of Mormon fit with the Bible.
I of course questioned it and it wasn't until I spoke to someone wiser than myself. He said, "What are you expecting a hand written sign." He continued, "Look at the fruits of the spirit. What fruits does the Gospel show? That is when it hit me. The Gospel is loving, caring, giving, peaceful and charitable. All the fruits of the spirit.
Quotes:
I think too of the great words of Paul to the Galatians: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” These are the fruits of the Spirit of God.
The Spirit is ready. But many people aren’t ready to invite the Spirit. - Eyring
Paul tells us: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance” I could feel the Spirit carrying my words to their hearts, and I could feel “the fruit of the Spirit” () bringing back to me their love, their joy, and their faith. - Okazaki
The Lord said, “The Spirit enlighteneth every man [and every woman] … that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.” He further said that “every one that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit cometh unto God, even the Father.” 2 Some people are seeking to find the abundant life. Paul made it clear that it is “the spirit [that] giveth life.” 3 Indeed, the Savior said, “The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” 4 Joy Is a Gift One might ask, then what are the fruits of the Spirit? - Faust
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Mandarin, the Spirit speaks to us in many ways. It did not receive the warm feeling most people talk about but I had an intellectual experience (the puzzle pieced together). On my mission something we would tell the investigators of the Church. Try going down this path, schedule your baptism and see how everything pieces together but also realize you will get opposition too. Look at the fruits of the Spirit, Gospel. You will see they are the same.
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Sexuallity is such a powerful part of our mortality its hard to stay away from it...trust me
Ivy, you are spot on! Sexuality is part of our divine nature. Procreation was given as a part of who we are. It is in our nature to be sexual beings. Unfortunately, man has distorted, twisted, and abused this wonderful part of our lives and now our brains are confused with all of the sexuality around us. It doesn't know what to do with all of the stimuli it is constantly receiving about sexuality.
"It is not an easy thing to seek help for pornography and/or sexual addiction. There are typically great feelings of frustration and shame involved – especially as a member of the church. Usually before seeking help, most people have tried countless times on their own to stop the addictive behavior. This is especially true for those who pride themselves on willpower. Pretty much everything we are taught about success and achievement in our culture is based on will power. We are given messages from our early years on up that the harder we try the more likely we are to succeed. In most areas of life this approach bares fruit but when dealing with addictions issues it just doesn’t seem to be very effective in the long run. In fact the harder one try’s without the proper education the more one tends to become stuck in the cycle of relapse – guilt – confession – relapse and so on. I recently had a client tell me about one of his friends who is an active member of the church that has risen to the top of his field as an athlete by the exercise of willpower, effort and determination. Yet in the one area of dealing with pornography addiction, he seems to fail over and over again." Excerpt InnerGold Manual LDS Edition
Increasing the strength of our logical, thinking brain will give us even more strength.
Here is a good quote that I think you will like:
Overcoming sexual addiction is a process and not an event. Many have become frustrated with this reality and wish that in one great battle it could all be over. “It is not given to the rest of us, nor was it given to Jesus, to meet the foe, to fight and overcome in a single encounter, once for all time. The strife between the immortal spirit and the flesh, between the offspring of God on the one hand, the world and the devil on the other, is persistent through life.” (James Talmage, Jesus The Christ. Covenant Communication, American Fork, 2002 100.)
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(Right now my H is in such a fragile emotional state that we have not really discussed his addiction. That is going to be brought up next week at our counceling session, because I decided it needed to be address for me to continue in the relationship.) The biggest battle I am fighting is learning how to trust Heavenly Father and let the Spirit guide me in the situation.
Addiction is extremely hard and you are correct no one can relate unless they have been there. We have had several spouses comment on how valuable gaining an education about their spouses addiction because, for once, they understood what addiction is and why it is effecting their spouse the way it is.
Here is a what one of the spouses said about understanding what their spouse going through dealing with pornography and sexual addiction.
What I am saying, is a person must strengthen their logical thinking, i.e. their pre-frontal cortex to overcome pornography and sexual addiction. Get all the education you can. We have done a tremendous amount of research and you can learn a lot more about pornography and sexual addiction on the InnerGold site.
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Thank you, FindingHope. Our only hope and desire is to help people overcome pornography and sexual addiction. This is our focus and our goal.
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I agree with gpuddin but you have to also understand that if he does not get the help he needs, unfortunately it could lead to some of the things mentioned.
For your marriage to be what it should be, change is inevitable. He will have to get the help he needs and you will have to help him through it. We have seen some pretty bad cases where the husband and wife were on the verge of divorce, when the husband finally comes in to get help. Unfortunately, he came in only because his wife wanted him to. It wasn't for about a year after coming to counseling that it finally clicked and he wanted to change.
This is the tipping point. It has to be his desire to change, not just yours. If he really wants to change his behavior, he can.
Addiction to pornography is one of the worst addictions because once you see an image it is stuck like glue. It is always there to be a trigger if he is (B.L.A.S.T.) see previous post), so he will have to learn how to handle those triggers. He is not a bad man for having triggers. All men have them but they have trained themselves differently to handle them. Once he learns how the addiction is affecting the brain, he can start to change the trigger to a positive behavior.
For example: I know someone who has been struggling with this addiction for over 25 years. Before he learned to control his brain, he would see a Cosmo. magazine and instantly start thinking of everything he has seen before (all the porn). Now, however, he recognizes it as a trigger and says to himself, " Yes, I recognize that there is an attractive young lady on the cover but I am not going to look at it. I will look away." Easier said than done but once he learned to master this. He has been sober (not looked at porn) for over 3 years. This is a miracle in our mind when he was looking at porn regularly.
Yes, your husband is not trash or waste. He is someone struggling with an issue that 90% of the men in the world are dealing with. Help him and encourage him. Read the article written for ecclesiastical leaders. It will also help you to understand how you might be able to talk with your husband.
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I personally don't train. I don't know if Gordon Bruin teaches up there or not. I do know he has traveled all over Utah training people about addiction on the medical side, ecclesiastical side and also professional side. I am someone just trying to get the information out to the world, fast!
There are so many people looking for help but don't know where to go. I have seen the miracle of his proprietary system change lives. He is not selling it for an arm and a leg so I really felt he, Gordon, was truly desirous to help people change and not just get rich. I was blown away! After I read through the manual and started applying the things he teaches to my life, I knew this could help everyone. Even if you are not addicted to something, his training of the brain is powerful.
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I would strongly recommend contacting the missionaries.
also to learn more about the gospel visit this site and you can do some personal study: Mormon.org - Home click on free media at the bottom, request a Book of Mormon and or Finding Faith in Christ DVD. The missionaries will deliver it and you can start taking the missionary discussions.
You can also talk to the Bishop of the singles ward and tell him you want to know more. He will help you get in contact with the missionaries and help you find friends, etc.
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Thank you Dravin. Best Wishes!
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I am glad that you were able to overcome your specific situation. I honestly wished more people could have that same strength. It is heart wrenching to hear the stories of people who has allowed porn to destroy them, mentally, physically, socially and emotionally.
We have seen miracles with InnerGold with people that literally were on the verge of suicide because they have been praying, reading scriptures, talking to their bishop and still not able to kick it. I really truly wish they had the faith you have shown.
Hi y'all
in Introduce Yourself
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Welcome, I understand remaining close to home. We had my grandpa living with us for about 6 months at 93 yrs. until he passed away. I am so glad we did! Great blessings come to those who love their parents and grand parents.