findinghope

Thanks! For a lot of addicts out there in the LDS community, there are many who so desperately want to obey but find themselves lost in the occasional relapse or in complete free fall. So many hide their issues and keep things secret for way too long in fear that the shame and retribution will be too great. Yes, there is justice and yes ones spouse and or others who are effected may be down right angry at first. Point is that not seeking help will be disastrous beyond any anger or shame. God is good and is so merciful to those who seek help. Christ died for us after all. He died for ALL sins, pains, etc... We shouldn't "beat" ourselves up for our weaknesses, but rather beat ourselves up for not doing anything about it. For those who feel the shame and or anger is not worth it...trust me when I say it is very much worth it. Getting help is proof to God that we are willing to do his will. Nothing wrong with that. Isn't is all about making our weaknesses strengths?

Hello forum, I saw that Innergold posted on this forum recently. I went through that program over 3 years ago and have found sobriety in pornography addiction. For those addicts out there or those who know addicts, there is hope and help. For those addicts in denial, hopefully you will admit it and get help :) I am here to say that any out there with questions or want some confidential and honest feedback, just ask me. I have no shame in admitting my addiction now or discussing recovery. I know that recovery is possible. I am proof. I went years with occasional relapses in my pornography addiction thinking I could just stop with more faith, more scriptures, more Temple, etc... I spent a year working in the Temple. I have had various church callings etc... I went through Bishop after Bishop trying to "beat" this thing. I prayed almost every day for help. My sweet wife prayed with me. I didn't binge every day. It was on business trips and usually every 2-6 months I would relapse. Pretty common amongst LDS men actually. I was so confused and felt crummy every time I slipped. I hated myself for a while. My wife and I would weep together becuase of this beast that plagued me. It was like I was outside looking in when I relapsed. What I learned is that this is pretty common amongst LDS men. Innergold Counseling helped me understand my addiction and gave me the tools to find sobriety. If ANYONE has this addiction or questions for me...feel free to ask. I am doing great. My wife and I are happy as ever. I have truly given my addiction to the Lord finally in admitting I am nothing alone and cannot do this on my own. I needed counseling, I needed my wife, and I needed to truly humble myself before the Savior. I use what I learned through Innergold to stay sober every day now. Nephi stated "O Lord, wilt though redeem my soul? Wilt though deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt though make me that I may shake at the very appearance of sin? May the gates of Hell be shut continually before me, becuase that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite? O Lord, wilt though not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road." 2ndNephi 4: 31-32. Well, I am here to help those who feel the gates of righteousness shut before them. I am here to answer questions that may lead people through that low valley of humility learn to be strict in the plain road.

I went through the Innergold program 3 years ago and have found hope and sobriety in my addiction. Thousands of LDS men are addicted but most are scared and lost in finding help. Just wanted to say thanks and good to see Innergold on this forum.

I agree with Innergold. I went years as a porn addict thinking I should have the "Willpower" to be done with porn. I even went a couple years after getting married but fell again. Technically, will power should be enough. If we (or I) were perfect than that would be the case. We are human and imperfect. I was a porn addict from a young age. I went 3 years before and during my mission as well without porn. There are a few addicts out there who through willpower and church leaders do overcome. The problem is that it is very few. I went to more than 10 Bishops trying to become completely free from this. My story is very common. Some Bishops would take my Temple recommend, others would tell me to get my rear end in the Temple next week and go more often. I was confused as my addiction kept creeping in from time to time. Point is that I went through counseling and have found sobriety. I, like most addicts, needed to be educated and given tools for recovery. I used those tools and still do. I have found that sobriety now and am doing very well. Recovery can be different for people. Most do need a program or real treatment though in pornography addiction. For those who do it through "willpower alone"... that is great but realize that being clean for a couple months or even a couple years does not mean you are completely free. One must always be watchful, aware, mindful, and keep on the armor.

gppuddinpie... So I saw that Innergold posted here. I went through the Innergold program over 3 years ago. I have been an addict for over 15 years. I have been married for almost 9 years. 4 kids now First 2 years of marriage I did pretty good staying away from my addiction. In fact, at that time I didn't even think I was an addict. my first major slip with porn after marriage was when my wife was pregnant as well. After that things got worse. I would occasionally relapse. Sometimes I would go months, other times a couple weeks, or the next business trip. I always hated how I felt when I slipped. I would go to my Bishop and sometimes go a few months, then slip again. What was craziest is how different Bishops would react. Some would take my Temple recommend away, others would tell me to get to the Temple within the week and go every week. Long story short, I got more and more confused. I thought my will power and love for my sweet wife should be enough. I thought I should be strong enough to just quit and do as the Lord wanted. I would go on scripture and Temple binges thinking that might "cure" me. It got to the point where my wife would just cry, and I would cry with her. I hated myself for a while. I hated my addiction. I loathed pornography 99% of the time, but when the burning got so strong, I would literally detach and next thing I knew, I had binged and went through the guilt cycle all over again. There were times I wished my wife didn't have to deal with me and my addiction. Innergold Counseling (Gordon Bruin) opened my eyes BIG TIME. I learned that I was an addict (which I had already guessed but hated admitting). It made me angry at first. I learned that my healthy brain (frontal cortex) had been altered and my compulsive part of my brain (Limbic system or mid-brain) had taken a more dominant role. I learned the tools and daily routine to guide me towards sobriety. I learned that I had to do things on a consistent daily basis to stay sober. Well...it has worked! Point of my post is the following: There is help and hope. I am doing great! My wife and I feel our relationship is as good as ever. There is no shame in getting some help. I had read various books and worked with many church leaders but none helped me TRULY UNDERSTAND my addiction and lead me towards a balanced recovery. Innergold did that for me. The biggest help for me was my wife's supporting me and being an accountability partner in my recovery. Her love and patience has been my saving grace. I love her eternally for that. I can't believe how patient she has been. So many prayers, fasting, and ups and downs but the Innergold program has been the thing that helped most. There is a lot of hope and growth that can come from this if both parties are willing to face things and do so with love.