careless_whisper

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Thank you for the recommendation, I'm going to order it off Amazon :) Unfortunately I'm too old for Institute classes (mid 20's) but I'm going to keep going to ward activities (I'm in a YSA ward) like FHE and other things and hopefully with time I can make some friends.

So I've been back at church for a few months now. I love church, I always feel the spirit so strongly whenever I am there. I confessed to my bishop everything I had done in the year or so I have been inactive and started the repentance process. The problem is, I'm not very repentant because I haven't really stopped doing the things I was doing. I smoke cigarettes and pot everyday, my boyfriend and I aren't ... pure, I have a hard time sitting down and reading scripture on a continual basis, I don't pay tithing (am too afraid I couldn't afford it - live with my mom as it is and I have a hard time making ends meet, plus I acknowledge that I have a hard time parting ways with my money...)basically I am a Jack Mormon (sigh). I really want to be a good Mormon, hold a temple recommend, be sealed in the temple, but it's SO HARD. I grew up non-religious so it's hard for me to relate to having faith, trusting God, etc. It's such an abstract concept for me. I've been to addiction recovery, again the idea of putting matters into God's hands is so weird to me, I don't know how to do it, lol. I've always been taught to do things for myself and I'm responsible for my own fate, etc. How do you do these things?! I also have a hard time because all my friends/family/boyfriend are non-LDS. I am extremely shy and awkward when it comes to meeting new people and I've had a difficult time making new friends in my ward. How can I be a good member? I want to stop doing these things, but I can't. I know I should stop associating with people who lead me to temptation, but I don't want to be alone either. It's a vicious cycle. I so badly want the joy and happiness that comes from living a life that is obedient to God's commandments and the gospel. I suck at it. This is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do! :) Any suggestions?

SO I am meeting up at a member's house tomorrow to watch General Conference. And then next week the missionaries invited me back to church. Do I meet with the bishop before then? What is the etiquette? Sorry I have no clue, lol.

Hello I was baptized in May of last year. I had a mental break down of sorts (broke up with a very serious boyfriend of 5 years, among other things that were troubling me) and just up and left the church. In this time, I've been very....un-Mormon? I've done a lot of bad things. Recently, I broke up with another boyfriend who was kind of serious. This past year, I've realized I've felt empty and I've been trying to fill a void with a lot of sinful stuff. I called the missionaries yesterday, and I want to go back to church. When I went to the church, I felt at home, I felt the Spirit, I was so happy. I just kind of went off the deep end and quit going. I'm REALLY nervous about going back. I was part of a singles ward. I'm just worried everyone is going to look at me and think I'm weird, wonder what I was up to, give me the cold shoulder. I want to go to church but I am so nervous about being accepted. Also, what about taking part in sacrament? As I've said before, I've been very un-Mormon. Do I have to have a meeting with the bishop? I'm nervous that if I tell him everything, word will spread. I just don't want to be looked at for my past actions. Any advice?

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