Kenny

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Everything posted by Kenny

  1. Rust in pease -Polaris Megadeth
  2. Normally pretty good at remembering to put the clocks back, but one year I turned up for PEC, waited 20 minutes and thought it must have been cancelled. A newly baptised member was there waiting with me as he liked sitting in the empty chaple for an hour before people arrived. Went home took him with me and had breakfast while my family got over the giggles after telling them sternly the night before to alter their own clocks.
  3. There are smoke alarms now that last ten years and you never have to change the battery. Bought one the other day from B&Q our version of your Home Depot.
  4. Why is being Christian like being a pumpkin? First God comes and takes you out of the vegetable patch. Then he washes off all the mud and dirt and takes you into His house. Then He opens you up and scoops out all the yucky stuff and the seeds of doubt hate and unkindness. Then He fills you with light and warmth. Last of all He puts a new smiley face on you that lets everybody see what's inside you.
  5. I would seem there are many stories on this subject and all very wonderful, the point to this story, however it is told, is what makes it what it is. When we do good for goodness sake the Lord will know of it because the angels will record it.
  6. His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. 'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.' 'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked. 'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly. 'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill. Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
  7. CURTAIN RODS --- PRICELESS On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water. When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ... but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ..... .. and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
  8. You would think so, however I think it is the system it seems to switch for no known reason.
  9. Love Attack James Carr 1966
  10. The body is classed as a Temple by God so that the Spirit can reside.
  11. Can you imagine the uproar if someone put grafti on one of our Temples.
  12. did you hear about Larry La Prise who wrote the hokey cokey lyrics poor bloke has passed away aged 93 traumatic part was putting him in is coffin well first they put his left leg in and then the trouble started
  13. I'm not an American so don't fully engage with your passion but the issues you talk about are really no different to issues we talk about when you peel away the rhetoric. There are always going to those that feather their own nest, this is basic human nature, but there is always going to be more that don't benefit directly than those that do. Seems to me you guys want your cake and eat it, just the same as we do. We want charismatic leaders who can stand up and give as good as they take. Who are courageous and use their power for the good of all but only so long as it’s to our advantage. We all want clear mobile phone signals or cheap renewable energy but don't put the mast or wind turbine anywhere near where I have to look at them. We all want our governments to pass legislation to improve this or that but not at the expense of us having to give up part of something we already have plenty of. When are we going to learn to count our blessings and serve the needs of others? Those cheap clothes are only possible if someone one goes hungry having to live on for a week what we might spend in an hour. President Obama has a tough road ahead of him, as does any leader who is set on changing the norm, because changing a few minds is easy changing the attitudes, like selfishness, of the many is a much greater task and has been since Adam was a lad. Not an impossible task just one that requires long suffering, kindness and self-less-ness.
  14. The most important thing in all of this is your commitment. She is not 100% sure but is trying to be. This doesn't mean she won’t find you acceptable as her eternal companion. Be absolutely sure she is who you want and she has your heart anything less you will struggle. Relationships require a great deal of work so mutual commitment is essential. When someone errs it should be contained within the relationship, revealing it is the ultimate betrayal and only proves that there is no trust vital to a lasting relationship. In short if you love her and she is worth the effort do whatever it takes to remove the inner doubts.
  15. That was a long post but I read and actually agreed with everything you said plus I don't even live in America. Our news was filled recently with the perils of the NHS when your President made reference to an American health care system similar to ours. The NHS is not perfect not by a long shot but it sure does help all that come to it or need help. It costs the tax payer a fortune but nobody gets turned away. Some hospitals specialise in certain areas of medicine others don't so some hospitals might shunt you off to another if your illness falls within a category they don't specialise in. These are far and few between. I listened to your president give a talk to on Islam and it was filled with words of peace. American standing in the world will rise because of him and if he can stay the course (eight years) he'll achieve more for the American people than any other president. What happens there affects us here and the rest of the world. God did not choose your country to be the New Jerusalem lightly. I stayed in Utah for a few weeks a couple of years back and saw for myself the fundamental differences between the well off and the not so well off. We stayed with well off friends whose generosity to us had no bounds. When I compared what my host was receiving and paying out to what I was we concluded they were much the same. The real difference was that he was trusted with more of his money than perhaps I was. Your system rewards you for your contribution in tax breaks whereas we here pay higher taxes at source but for the lower paid we can claim tax credits back as a benifit. Because you are trusted more the care of the poor is put on your shoulders where with us the government has already taken the money so fund almost all the needs of the poor, including health, directly. The Lord will usher in the law of consecration when he returns but in the mean time the lesser law of tithing will suffice. The church is a beacon for how to run an economy and governments will one day look to it and learn. There so many tax breaks for the very rich that in many cases they actually pay zero amounts into the coffers. That is why good accountants earn so much. If everybody paid one tenth of their gross income the amount of money that comes in multiplies exponentially. It is a much fairer system the only real loss the rich will suffer is that they might have three or four holidays a year instead of four or five. God gave them the ability to earn so much, in many ways it is their weakness and like all weaknesses if they can be overcome the Lord will turn them into strengths. We see that in the church all the time don't we?
  16. Having been born and raised in Sheffield South Yorkshire I agree Yorkshire people are known for their dry humour. I would go as far to say in some cases if someone does not give as good as he gets they will be vilified. That type of humour is cruel Now it would be our sense of fun to put to the test your theory that we should be banned from this forum but because my desire is to learn and grow I will resist the temptation:lol:
  17. I have an infinity with America, I laugh at most of your comedy, I could even say in some area's your type of whit is better, but where you guys lose me is how you respond to our dry humour. I'm not sure if you are offended by it or just don't get it. The reason for this thread is a desire to try and understand that, not through professional comedy, but on a personal level, if you get my gist.
  18. Very good, now we’re getting somewhere. British humour is all about being able to laugh at oneself, a sort of irony. No harm is ever meant and when it is done right it makes you laugh. One of my favourite American shows is Laughin they seemed to captured the very essences of this and I've laughed at Goldie Hawn's type of humour ever since.
  19. British and American Sense of humour why are they so different? Is ours too sophisticated for you guys to understand or what? I've put this LOL just to help you along here. What do you think?
  20. There is no song beginning with Flows the only one that came close is: FLOW - VICTORIA BECKHAM
  21. There are many reasons why people for one reason or another don't attend activities and none of it is a leader’s fault. The church is perfect, the program is perfect, have faith in that and do all that you can. If nothing else it will teach and advance you in your understanding of God's plan. We had in our ward a disabled man in a wheelchair who only had the use of one arm. He is a humble, faithful man that never doubted when they called him as Young Men’s president. He did not try to improve things just followed the program to the letter. In the beginning he had no councillors just the support of the bishopric. Few young men attended at first but he prevailed and the numbers grew. He would never take any credit because as he always said the program is what brought the youth back all he had to do was hold the reins. You are a choice sister and child of God clearly willing to sacrifice personal needs to serve. You have been given a sacred opportunity to further the Lords plan for the young souls in your ward. All you really have to do is love them and stick to the plan. Those that are listening to the spirit will respond, grow from the experience and be blessed. If the Lord were to come into your ward on Sunday I believe the first thing He would do is thank people like you for all your hard work and dedication.