ndcfromak

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Everything posted by ndcfromak

  1. I just sent a missionary off about two weeks ago, and although we both were so excited for that day, it was so, so hard. I was a big mess. A bigger mess than I thought I would be. I couldn't look at him after his setting apart, because I knew I would lose it! So I just shook his hand, and tried to keep it brief to follow the rules and keep myself from going crazy. I couldn't talk afterwards. His bishop came up to me and one of his counselors came up to me too... but I really was on the brink of tears. After that, my elder and his family got into his car, and I got into mine. And there I cried. A lot. I had tried very hard before to really feel completely good about his leaving, but it was hard because... well, like most of you, he's my best friend. So I got myself together again (at least temporarily on the surface!) and went back into the chapel. I knew that I needed to understand something I wasn't understanding about the love of the Savior. I really needed the atonement, and I needed to understand it better so that I could receive all the love the Savior was just waiting to give to me! There was a class in the same chapel that my elder had his setting apart. It's called the Addiction Recovery Program. As a side note, in my opinion, I think everyone should look into it. You learn so much about the Atonement and your potential, and... oh, it's just so good to be there. Some people go because they have large addictions, other people go because they have minor irritating habits they just want to conquer. I never did pinpoint something that I wanted to conquer while attending, but I went to those meetings often, and plan to continue on going. Even though I couldn't think, and continue to have difficulty finding some kind of addiction I have, I am not perfect. You just learn so much about your Heavenly Father, the Atonement, and listening to the Spirit. Really, the class is just on the power of the Atonement and your relationship to the Godhead, so... if you need the atonement (which we all do) you should come! At the very least, read through the manual. There is some beautiful scripture in it. But I digress. So I went to this meeting, and there is a sharing portion after they read something in the manual. I had missed the reading, so I went in during the sharing portion. I was the last one, and when the person conducting the meeting asked, "Do you have anything to share? How are you?" I totally lost it! Wet face, heaving breaths, the whole nine yards! I was so embarrassed I was so emotional over something I should have been taking joy in! After they figured out I was sending someone off, I received lots of hugs and the instructor recapped the lesson. The lesson was on trusting in God. That's really all I can remember after that. I know the instructor shared something in Proverbs, but I have no idea what he was talking about. All I could think about was the message: Trust in the Lord. He loves you. He knows what's best. We concluded with a prayer and I received more hugs. I got into my car and I knew I needed to pray. The temple was right across the chapel we were at, and it was unfortunately closed at this point, but I just parked in front of it for a while and I prayed aloud. I kept saying, "I trust you, Lord. I trust you. I trust you." Then I continued to say that through a prayer of gratefulness-- I said all of the good things about this mission I could think of to Heavenly Father aloud, in my car, through sobs. And then I asked for help to accept the blessing that my best friend, someone I love so much, and desire to love eternally is going on a mission for the Lord, and it's be best and greatest thing he can be doing right now. And having joy in this and trying to continue to grow closer to my Savior is the best thing I can be doing right now. Whenever fear struck me, I said aloud, "I trust you." The fear which I had held onto was beginning to release. It no longer was controlling me. I was releasing it through the Atonement. And then I found such complete peace. And since that time, although I do miss my missionary so so much; although I think about him all the time, I cannot bring myself to feel terrible about his leaving. I cannot bring myself to feel that this is such a struggle. The Lord has filled me with peace. He has filled me with it. I do take such joy in this, more complete than I can explain, because I talked through it with my Heavenly Father. So ladies. I don't mean to be over-the-top with this at all. But I, like the girl who started this blog and everyone else who has given positive advice here, wants you to know that there is so much to smile about. Sending a missionary away is difficult, but it's not like we are walking in darkness and we have to wait two years until we see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is light in our lives now, and the Savior wants so badly for us to see it, and stretch our arms out and soak it in! I have such little experience in waiting for a missionary, but I know that the Lord can provide what we need if we come to him humbly, willing to embrace the eternal happiness he freely gives. PS~ I really can't help myself from sharing the good news that is in the Addiction Recovery Manual, so I've attached the link if you want to look at it (... which, just to be completely clear if I wasn't before, I REALLY would suggest it)! Addiction Recovery Program