Aeternum

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  1. this was really helpful, and thank you to everyone for well-intended advice. it is hard when you only have one side to go by, and every marriage has it's own unique "problems". I'll ask my bishop for a blessing, fast and go back to the temple and try to understand what my Heavenly Father would have me learn/do. But I appreciate everyone's advice. :)
  2. simplicity is a grand thing. i never thought of looking at it from that angle before. I can truly say I'm NOT breaking any of my covenants, despite having many many flaws. That def. helped. thank you.
  3. I've been married for 13 years to a man I met in NZ while on his mission. We have 5 kids, he works and goes to school and we're in the process of finishing immigration, so I can finally have a job/career! (Our youngest started 1st grade this year) Here's my dilhema. I understand that by seeking out a divorce, you're breaking a covenant you have entered into with our Heavenly Father. I understand that divorce is ALWAYS hard, especially when kids are involved and that you should try to do all you can before resorting to something so final. I also realize that everyone has flaws and faults, so our marriage is definitely not one-sided, with me as the victim. We have gone to counselling, I've gone to solo counselling (I had a bad upbringing) I also have no family here in the country, nor are they members. I have attended the marriage class with my husband, on sundays. I've attended regular appointments with our Bishop in 3 different wards over several years. This is the first time, however, that I am truly striving to do the right thing. No matter WHAT! Here's where things get messy. My husband is abusive. Verbally, emotionally, sometimes physically. He degrades us (me & the kids) and then blames his actions ON us, he's constantly turning any situation around, so he is not the responsible one, and no matter how hard it is, I'll (not every time - I'm not perfect. But definitely 8 out of 10 times) respond with how I can change or what I need to improve in the situation, but can he understand that the way he dealt with whoever, screaming and calling them "you are a freaking MORONIC piece of S***. Useless a**hole - you're so pathetic." etc. etc. To be fair, I've lost it before as well, I'm not pointing out his shortcomings, all I'm trying to gain is advice on what do I do from here? He doesn't respect Bishophric authority, he has no recommend, I don't see him pray (to be fair - I think he does now and then) He doesn't read, and our children beg me to fix this. He also works 3 jobs, and attends school fulltime, so if he's not working nightshift, he's actually here maybe 24 hours in a total week? I've read talks, scriptures, prayed on what I can do differently - only now. I'm out of ideas. I feel like I'm not understanding the Spirit (he's told me it's not the Spirit telling me this or that ...???) But I can say, he believes in the Church. He just doesn't quite live it? Please give me any advice on what I could do to try to get him to see. Or should I take my children and break that covenant? Serious answers only, please. And Thanks. :)
  4. aw, i really hope u can overcome this trial. as a parent though - i think the best thing u can do is simply tell them how u feel. write out everything u want to tell them, let them know before u start that u want them to let u finish - not interruptions - then lay it out on the table. be sure to let them know that it makes u happy. ur not "brainwashed" or "doing it for some crush" - this is all u. i feel for u sweets n wish i could offer more help - but u feel free to message me when & if u tell ur parents, even if its just to have a good cry. and remember though - Heavenly Father knows every single little thing u are going through & went through this too, so He can help u when u pray to Him. ask for some peace during this time. *hugs* so much for using the 'quick reply' option. i just wrote a novel. ugh. (but u stay safe hon. & the best of luck to u - and only good thoughts!)
  5. that live in Utah and meet on a reg. basis - PLEASE let me know if u have the inside scoop on this evasive clan of people - theres been some whispered conversations but as of yet no confirmation as to this skitish group known only as "The unseen Poly's" But seriously? As a native kiwi i would love to at least get a 'kia ora' back from someone ...
  6. yanno i had this same thing happen to me, only my mum told me (& the missionaries) flat out no. only not as politely as that. the only thing i could do, being that i wasn't 18 yet, was continue going to church to keep my faith, spirit & testimony alive & wait till i turned the big "way legal now". keep coming to forums where u can speak out & get support for days when u will definitly need it, good on u for having the strength to strike out on ur own & go for wt YOU feel is right. one day u will look back on this & realise how much it actually strengthened u. *hugs* hang in there. (yanno, these smilies are seriously making my day ... )
  7. Why thank u doll. thank goodness that it's not a dead site & is actually populated!! p.s i love these smilies. lol
  8. You need the 'juice' font @ admins. I loooove that font. *drools* well, this is the 3rd time today I have registered with a forum, introduced myself, set my profile up, and realised that it was pretty much a 'dead' forum. So I hope that isn't the case with this one, especially since that's a great Mark Mabry piece. Well now, where to start ... ? Happily married Mum to 5 wonderful (and I mean WONDERFUL. These kids are amazing, they have one foot in the door of the Celestial Kingdom, I kid you not,) children who constantly humble me. I married my missionary sweetheart (long story) & we closed on a house TODAY! (I knooow!!) So I was looking for a forum type enviroment where I can leave random comments & questions could be answered when I have them, and so far no dice. But third times a charm right ... ? (Or is it disaster comes in threes?) So, yeah - I'm here now, at least until I figure out whether people visit this site or not. I'm hoping they do. So feel free to message me, ESPECIALLY to congratulate me on the new diggs. Pleased to be here & well met. ~J.