funkenheimer

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Everything posted by funkenheimer

  1. I am divorced and remarried. I have full custody of my daughters. My ex has been paying $30/month for child support for nearly 6 years. She is now working full time and has even had 2 jobs at one point. I have tried to get the amount increased using the Utah Office of Recovery Services but they have not been successful in getting this adjusted. I am now working on a motion to change the child support through the court system. However, my ex-wife won't tell me who she works for. She has told me how much she makes but refuses to show proof. My question: In the form for the motion to modify child support it asks for the amount requested. How can I accurately determine this if she refuses to provide any type of proof of income? Someone mentioned filing an order to show cause but I have no idea how to do this. I don't have the money to hire an attorney. Are then any attorneys out there willing to point me in the right direction? Is there anyone who has gone through this before, who could provide some insight? Thanks in advance!
  2. I believe the prompting could have come from the spirit. Especially considering you felt the prompting at times you were most in tune with the spirit (watching general conference or reading the scriptures). However, our Father in Heaven has given each of his children a wonderful gift of agency. Hypothetically, lets say this was in fact a prompting of the spirit. You acted correctly by following this prompting. This doesn't mean the young man in question has to respond appropriately. He has the freedom to choose. In fact it is entirely possible that he felt a similar prompting that created the animosity he has toward you. It may not be anything you have done wrong, but rather his own guilt of acting contrary to what the spirit indicated.
  3. I have not posted on this board in a while but I have received some very good advice in the past and thought I would try it again with this new problem. I have been divorced for 4 years and remarried for 2 years. My divorce decree states that I can randomly drug test my ex wife once each month. In the 4 years we have been divorced she has failed dozens of drug tests and passed 1. The only penalty for a failed drug test is that she loses visitation until she tests clean. I now realize this is not enough. Unfortunately my divorce papers only allow me to have her drug tested for 4 years. This has recently expired. I want to do the following that would require modifying the divorce decree. I have documentation for all of the failed drug attempts. - restablish drug testing as she clearly is not clean. - establish a much more strict drug testing policy that includes outpatient therapy and some kind of 12 step program Is it possible to get a divorce decree modified by myself? I have done some research and it seems pretty difficult. I have also met with a few attorneys and it will cost me around $3000 - $4000 dollars. I have been out of work for 4 months, recently had heart surgery, and I just don't have the money.
  4. Thanks Just_A_Guy. I will give them a call. If there were a way to remove her from my kids' life without hurting them I would. She is a bad influence in so many ways. However, they love her very much so make every effort possible to facilitate visitation. Having said that, every decision I make regarding her visitation is based on the safety of my daughters. I want her to be a part of their life for their sake. But I need them to be safe while they are with her.
  5. I have been divorced from my ex-wife for just over 3 years. As part of the divorce decree I was given the right to require random drug tests. Over the course of the past 3 years or so my ex-wife has passed 2 drug tests on the first attempt. Currently the only penalty outlined in my divorce papers is that she loses visitation until she successfully passes a drug test and then her visitation is restored. I am now in the process of working to amend my divorce papers to be more specific as to what is and is not allowed and also implement increasingly more restrictive penalties for failed drug tests. I know how to file the paper work and am consulting with an attorney. What I need is a good drug testing policy and outline for penalties in the form of loss of visitation. Anyone have any ideas?
  6. Light saber wins every time. Dr Who is for girls and old men.
  7. Giving up caffeine is similar to overcoming any addiction. You need to approach it in a similar manner. I have been a heavy caffeine drinker for many years and just recently gave it up. Granted, giving up caffeine is probably easier than harder drugs or alcohol. But caffeine is still physically addictive. Excedrin helped with the headaches. It has a small amount of caffeine that seemed to take the edge off the headaches. On the third day when the headaches were unbearable my wife purchased a 12 oz. can of caffeinated soda. That helped. I would not recommend keeping "emergency stashes" on hand as it is too easy to revert to old habits. I did it cold turkey after one night getting ready for bed I was having some trouble breathing. My wife drove me to the hospital and my blood pressure was extremely high (195/145) and I ended up in Intensive Care. The doctor told me I needed to change my eating habits (low fat, low sodium, and low sugar), exercise more, and quit drinking soft drinks or I wasn't going to live to see 50. I am 37 years old and have a 7 week old daughter at home. Just the motivation I needed.
  8. I have several hand guns but my personal choice for home defense is a .12 gauge 870 Wing Master. I figure most people know the sound of a shotgun pumping and aren't going to wait around to see it.
  9. A friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a body. My closest friends are family but I do have a few other close friends. Oddly enough my 2 closest friends or buddies are non-members, not that that makes any difference. They are the kind of friends that would drop anything to help out. They helped me through my divorce. They took me fishing when I knew neither one of them really liked to fish (I don't even think they bought licenses). I think that most people in general are selfish. I think that's human nature. But every now and then you come across some people who are truly remarkable human beings. Perhaps I have just been blessed.
  10. I met my wife online. We dated for almost a year and then got married. She lived out of state and we chatted (IM, text, and phone) for about a month before I decided to go meet her. She lived about 4 hours away. A colleague of mine suggested to pretend to be not interested because "girls want what they can't have." I did the opposite. I held her hand when we went to dinner and even kissed her on our first date. Later after we were engaged I told her what my colleague had said and asked her what she would have thought had I done that. She said "I would have thought you weren't interested in me and that would have been the end." I do need to point out that my wife and I are both in our mid 30s and this is a second marriage for both of us. Neither of us were interested in playing games and knew what we wanted. If you are considering this approach to meet women maybe it's you who isn't ready for a long term relationship or marriage.
  11. One more thing, Most modern revolvers are double action which means as you pull the trigger it pulls the hammer back and releases at the end of the trigger pull. You don't have to pull the hammer back for each round. Just squeeze the trigger like you would your trusty old .45. If you are that comfortable with your .45 I would go with that. The last hing you want to do is make a mistake when it really matters.
  12. I am a gun enthusiast but by no means consider myself an expert. My wife and I have concealed firearms permits. Right now my wife carries a .22 magnum but I hope to upgrade her to a .38 revolver soon. The benefit of a revolver is they are pretty much point and shoot. They have fewer jams and other problems that are common with semi-automatic weapons. The disadvantage is they don't carry as many rounds as an automatic. That said my personal choice is a Glock 27 which holds 9 rounds of .40 caliber ammunition and ways just under 20 oz. It comes down to reliability vs. ammunition. However, if you need more than 6 rounds of ammunition you are in some pretty serious trouble and is another 3 going to make the difference? And what good is the gun if it stovepipes the first round (spent cartridge stuck during ejection creating what looks like a stovepipe coming out of the gun). Tough call and often debated. However, if you are going to carry a revolver I would consider a .357. If you can handle a .45 you should have no problem with the .357 and they offer more firepower than the .38.
  13. Mistie - you will be judged by others. It's human nature. It also seems more prevalent in the church, but that's just my opinion. All you can do is ignore and keep your head up. No one can tell you when you should start dating. That is a deeply personal question and that is between you and the Lord. You need to do what is the best interest of your kids. My advice to you is go to the Lord and seek his counsel. You will know when the time is right. For me it was about 2 years after my divorce before I started dating. Even the thought of dating made me sick at first. It seemed vulgar to even talk about. Eventually those feelings changed. I still remember my first date after the divorce. It was my first "first date" in nearly 14 years. I was a mess. In the end though the Lord knew what was in store. A scripture that helped me tremendously after the divorce and one that I still live my life by today is from Proverbs chapter 3 verses 5-6 5. Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. A few months after some casual dating I met a very special lady who changed my life. Just shy of a year later I married her. Trust in the Lord. He knows what is best and he knows the path you need to follow. If you do this you will find peace and true happiness, regardless of where that path takes you.
  14. Let me speak from the other side... Almost a year ago I met a wonderful lady online. She had 3 kids and was divorced. We chatted and talked on the phone for almost a month when we decided to meet. Before I drove the distance (she lived quite a way away) she confessed some things to me from her past. When we met she was again active in the church. To make a long story short, I didn't really know the person she told me about. I fell in love with who she was now and last Saturday we were married in the temple.
  15. It's been a while since I have posted and I have never really posted very regularly. But I try to visit as often as I can. I first came to this site after my marriage of 12 years ended. I am a single dad with 2 daughters and I needed help in the form of support and advice. I found everything I needed and more at this site. Now for the update. I have been dating a very special lady for about the last 8 months. A few months ago we went on a date. I took her to the Hale Center Theater as she was in the drama club in high school and I thought it would be fun. The lights at the Hale Center Theater dimmed twice to signal the audience the play was about to resume and they should take their seats. Everyone made their way to their seats and it started to quiet down. The stage manager came onto the floor and asked for everybody's attention. He thanked everyone for coming and said the second act would start shortly. But first there was a matter of business to address. "Is there a John Doe in attendance this evening." I stood up. "Mr. Doe has a matter of business to take care of," said the stage manager. I then said, "This is my girlfriend, Jane," and the crowd started clapping and cheering as they realized what was about to happen. After the crowd started to quiet I said, "Jane and I have been dating for 6 months now and they have been among the happiest six months of my life. There is only one thing that could possibly make me happier." I then knelt down, took the ring out of my pocket and slid it on her finger and asked "Will you marry me?" The crowd erupted with excitement, clapping and cheering. With tears streaming down her face she kissed me and hugged me tight, then whispered "Yes" into my ear. **names were changed We are getting married in June! Thanks everyone for all the support you gave me during the darkest days of my life. I will continue to visit and hopefully I can repay some of that support.
  16. I really like this idea. This would be really easy to to.
  17. Our new primary schedule is not one I have seen before. From Sacrament Meeting we go straight to classes. After class there is a 10 minute break, though we are not to dismiss our classes. We are to send them in small groups to the bathroom and to get drinks. We are then to plan something for the class to do during the 10 minute break. My question is what to do during this time. Any suggestions?
  18. I have a recipe that I found a few years back that my kids absolutely love. Ingredients: 2 large bell peppers (any color) 1 package of whole mushrooms 1 large zuchini (or 2 small ones) 1 large crook neck (or 2 small ones) 1 bottle of Marinara sauce Mozzarella cheese Fresh graded Parmesan cheese 1 package (16 oz) penne noodles 1. Cut peppers, zucchini, squash, and mushrooms into bite size pieces. I usually only cut the mushrooms in half because they reduce in size quite a bit. 2. Place them on a roasting pan and coat with olive oil. Sprinkle with dried Italian Seasoning. Roast in an oven on about 400 degrees until tender. 3. In the meantime bring a pot of water to a boil and cook penne noodles for 8 minutes. They will finish cooking in the sauce. 4. When the vegetables are finished combine them with the noodles and add sauce and some mozzarella cheese. Save some of the Mozzarella cheese to cover the top. 5. Cover the top with Mozzarella cheese and sprinkle generously with Parmesan cheese. Once cheese melts and noodles are tender it is done.
  19. Thanks to all for the input, this is pretty much the way I was leaning. Perhaps an update and a little more detail is in order. First, I have consulted an attorney on this matter. There is no way I would make a decision like this without legal counsel. The attorney told me that under no circumstances should I not pay or pay a lesser amount for alimony without a signed and sealed court order. Otherwise, as was previously mentioned, I too would be in violation of a court order and in contempt. What is likely to happen is I will file a motion with the court and there will be a hearing. She will then be ordered to pay, including the back amount owed. All necessary actions will be taken to make sure this is paid. But more importantly, this would be registered with the court and both of us would make payments to the state rather than to each other. This way the state can track exactly what has been paid and what has not been paid. Thanks again for all the advice.
  20. My divorce was finalized just over a year ago. My heart goes out to you. Although there was no infidelity that I know of, I know the kind of pain you and your family is going through. I agree with Funkytown, this will be a decision you will have to make. Consider all the advice given on this board and weigh all of your options. Then turn to the Lord in prayer and ask for guidance. Ultimately, he is the only One who knows what is best. A scripture that helped me in the last months of my marriage and through the divorce process was this one found in Proverbs. Proverbs 3:5-6 5 ΒΆ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Feel free to PM me if you would like. There are certain aspects of the divorce I prefer not to share in an open forum. Hang in there, trust in the Lord, and you will know what you need to do. Sometimes the decisions we have to make are difficult and it may seem that there are no good choices. But the Lord sees the whole picture and knows which way we should go. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Wingnut - I seriously hope you are not trying to insinuate that the reason for the infidelity is directly related to his yelling at his wife. I don't believe this is what you meant, but it needs clarification. If he stops yelling today it doesn't change what has already happened, which is pretty damaging. I also don't really believe this will have any impact on what happens next. Also, the Bishop does discuss these types of things in Committe Meetings where the Reliefe Society president is present. I am not sure of the detail involved, but the RS president, and all auxiliary leaders, would be notified of the disciplinary action at the very least.
  21. This may not be the best place to post this, but there are many relationships involved her (my ex and I, my girls and I, my girls and their mom, etc.) I have been divorced for just over a year now and my ex and I were separated for 7 months before that. There were many reasons for the divorce, but the primary reason was due to her addiction to prescription drugs and her unwillingness to get treatment. I have full custody of our 2 daughters. The other reasons (lying, reckless finances, etc.) were primarily the result of the addiction. This post is pretty much just to vent some of my frustrations. My wages have been garnished heavily for the past several months to pay for medical bills that, until recently, I didn't know about. These medical bills were generated while my ex wife and i were still married and since the insurance was in my name, so are the bills. My ex has paid a total of $110 in the last year. Her child support obligation is $163/month. I pay $250/month each month for "spousal support" (alimony) faithfully. My ex came to pick up my girls for their weekly Thursday night visit. She had new hair extensions, new designer jeans, and a new leather jacket. I was furious. Here I am barely making ends meet, most of my savings exhausted, still paying for her addiction more than a year later, and she spends money without consideration of her financial obligation to her daughters. In retrospect the above statement is not entirely true. I am not making ends meet. I have had to borrow money from my mom and dad just to stay current on my bills. I didn't say anything at the time because the girls were there. But the next day after I knew the girls would be in school and she would be getting ready for work I called her. I told her of my frustrations and she got very defensive and hung up. I tried calling her back but she would not answer. Later I sent her a text and threatened to file a motion for contempt of court for not payment of child support. 15 minutes later I got a call from her mom and this where the fun really began. I realize I had absolutely no obligation to talk to her but I was already in a foul mood so I why not. She unloaded on me about how I shouldn't expect her to pay that I make more money than her and it's stupid to expect the mother to pay child support to the father. She ended by saying I should just let it go and forget about it. So this actually got me thinking. Even though i am legally entitled to the money, and she does have a job now, is it wrong for me to expect her to pay?
  22. As a single dad with 2 brothers and no sisters there are certain topics that just never came up in our house. I have full custody of my 2 daughters, ages 12 and 10. My girls have never raised the issue and I don't plan on discussing it until they bring it up. But I want to have an answer at the ready when it does come up. The questions is, at what age is it ok for girls to start wearing makeup? There is no specific doctrine that I am aware of. I welcome your opions.
  23. * Male * Age 35 * Where you are from: Southern Utah County * Status in the church (non-member, convert, or life-long member, active or inactive, etc.) life-long active member * Relationship status (single, married, divorce, etc.) divorced The questions are: (1-10 scale, with 1 being not important at all, and 10 being absolutely critical) How important is it for Priesthood holders to serve a mission? 10 - for all who are physically and mentally capable How important is it for LDS women to marry a return missionary? 6 - more important to marry a worthy priesthood holder