Bini

A friend of mine threw his phone into the firepit with some wood he'd tossed. Couldn't save it. It was gone in the blaze.

Hahahah. I mean really. This says it all. Ha!

I found most people don't really care all that much what you post on FB unless they feel threatened and offended. I would guess if that pic was posted, you might get some likes or laughs, and probably not much else

Hahahah. I mean really. This says it all. Ha!

Here's the update between now and my last post. After completing marriage counselling, my husband and I decided to separate. I started working and I'm going back to school in the fall, so I've been pretty busy schedule wise and haven't had much time to centre myself. I've joined a group for women in the same or similar situation as myself, and there I have met some wonderful friends. For the most part, I feel pretty balanced, but I am going through a pretty major shift and everything is still kind of a blur. I've been looking into new hobbies and I've been giving myself 'me time' once a week to be alone and just recoup. Any other suggestions for the next steps in finding and maintaining positivity and balance?

I wouldn't care about any societal feelings for having a baby after age 40. I would be concerned about my own health, the health of the baby, and that when that baby is an adult, I'll be getting on in years and likely have to rely on that child to care for me.  I am not sure I could handle the physical parts of being pregnant at age 40 nor the physical requirements of caring for a baby and toddler in my 40's or 50's. 
I don't care if I would feel out of place around new mothers who are in their 20s. Friends are friends whether in the same stage of life as I or not. 

Leave it alone.
I've been in those shoes and when I don't respond, it means, I don't want to go back to that place in memory or in any shape/form.

@Bini. Very proud of you! So glad that you have joined a support group. Good move!

Hi Bini!  Big big hugs...
I don't really have any advice except for the children also needing balance.  I hope and pray things get better for you from here on out.  You're a wonderful person and you are loved by us here.

Hi @Bini! I am at the 'read all the previous studies' stage. Then I will come up with big open questions so that people can tell me what they think is important. I am going to ask people that I know to be interviewed so they can tell me what is important to them. I will ask everyone that I interview if they know anyone who has a job and might like to be interviewed. I think that I will drive to nearby towns and attend church there so I can ask people there. I will ask people in the lunch room at the temple. I am hoping to find a lot of Americans because they often feel differently than canadians!  I want to find out things that bother people that they would like to change or just anything that they feel would be a good idea to do! 

Here's the update between now and my last post. After completing marriage counselling, my husband and I decided to separate. I started working and I'm going back to school in the fall, so I've been pretty busy schedule wise and haven't had much time to centre myself. I've joined a group for women in the same or similar situation as myself, and there I have met some wonderful friends. For the most part, I feel pretty balanced, but I am going through a pretty major shift and everything is still kind of a blur. I've been looking into new hobbies and I've been giving myself 'me time' once a week to be alone and just recoup. Any other suggestions for the next steps in finding and maintaining positivity and balance?

Any headway in your research on this?

HEY, YOU'RE BACK!  Miss ya.

Sounds to me like it doesn`t matter to her what you said, either way you brought up something she did not want brought up.  Continuing to apologize for it just brings it up again.  Leave it be.

OUT OF LINE, PERIOD.
I'm a parent, too. I would be furious that they lied to me but more furious that they secretly cornered my underaged child without my knowledge or consent! Trust has been broken here and I would not be comfortable with these adults being role models for my kids. Wish you the best. I left the church and not ever going back. So this is a church problem I will never have to deal with EVER.

It'd be very hard for me to give up tiramisu.. But having said that, I'm still working on the whole coffee thing. On a positive note, I've given up on drinking alcoholic beverages. Yay me.

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

I want to take a road trip across America, avoiding big cities, and exploring small towns and lost gems.

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Thanks for the thoughts and positive vibes. I'm emotionally in limbo right now. There's so much to figure out, and yet, time ticks away. We have agreed to attend counseling and get some insight from a middle person. Not to get too detail, the situation is not abuse, but neglect that has caused a lot of hurt and resentment. We also agree that the best outcome -- whatever that is -- is for us to be a functional dad and functional mum for our kids. 

Bini,
Sometimes, separation can be a doorway into a beautiful marriage if done the right way. The fear of facing things on your own is natural, separation from spouse is not a natural thing, hence the confusion and pain that goes alone with it. At this moment, don't rush to a decision, lots of people will tell you don't just stand there, do something, when in truth, the best option is to stand there and do nothing. 
There is hope, water it and it will grow.