mdfxdb

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Everything posted by mdfxdb

  1. The flaws of men are irrelevant. God has called many flawed men to serve. Maybe even some men who had a drinking problem (Noah)....... It doesn't matter that Brigham Young had a drinking problem (or not). The testimony you build cannot be based on a man's spirituality, perceived righteousness, etc, etc. Because at the end of the day prophets, and members alike, all have to put on their pants one leg at a time. It is when we deify those prophets that we set ourselves up for disappointment. We forget that Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and others are just men, with all the flaws, and weaknesses men are subject to. They were no better than us, and by our modern perceptions, maybe in some cases not nice men at all. That doesn't negate the fact that they were prophets, and called of God to serve in the capacity that God had defined for them. The calling of prophet, is not a calling of perfection. They are still subject to the command of Jesus "be ye therefore perfect, even as my father". They individually have lots of work to do, just like all of us.
  2. Have you told her your plan? What did she say? If there truly is no other reason why she cannot be intimate with you, then you have reasonable grounds. Be careful. Her reasons may be legit, and you may be unwilling to recognize them.
  3. Just read through this thread. I can state that if my wife were to become "anti", I would deem that behavior as completely unacceptable. If she were to begin to berate me, and proselytize to our kids about how bad and false the church is, I would put her on notice. Notice to stop. You should work with her on this, as mentioned before divorce is not usually acceptable unless one of the 3 A's occurs. But she is on the road to doing one or more of those A's. It is with the small steps and justifications that we find ourselves in one of the 3 A's. Addiction, abuse, adultery. If she continues to be "anti" in front of you or the kids, then that may constitute abuse. Emotional abuse is as powerful as any physical abuse. If her other behaviors escalate, and she wants more "freedom" you may find yourself experiencing another A.
  4. We need to hear a response from the OP to further the discussion. Omega has valid points. If OP can clarify exactly what has happened in this relationship then we can have a better starting point for discussion rather than pure speculation. Was there sex, but now there is not? Define infrequent? What is the root cause? Is there in fact no sex, and no love? Men tend to put sex and love into one huge ball, but women see it differently. His wife may in fact love him, and demonstrate that love every day, but men don't disconnect love from sex. If OP is truly a great guy, and has given everything to the marriage then he may be justified, but we can only guess at this point.
  5. In my life some of the best people I have ever met or been associated with have been non members. They are not going to prison/hell You need to understand that anything compared to the highest degree of glory is akin to hell for those who do not obtain it. Why would any rational person when given the opportunity not choose to sit at the right hand of God? Your friends if they are good Christians will have the opportunity to do so either in this life or the next. It is possible they will be held in higher standing than you based on knowledge and relative level of righteousness. Don't confuse Alma with D&C. Outer-darkness is reserved only for the worst of the worst. Not you or your friends.
  6. Quit putting up what if's, and ?'s If you never start you will never get there. Don't worry about what others will think, just do.
  7. Time to go. Unless you want to be an emotional punching bag for him, and for your children. Don't try and fool yourself into thinking that your kids aren't picking up on this as a way to treat both their mother, and women in general.....
  8. Your sealing to your parents and family is only a promise of being together predicated on obedience. You will have your free will to choose with whom you associate in the next life. You are not trapped. If for example your parents were to divorce, and cancel their sealing, it would in no way nullify your sealing/blessings associated with being born in/adopted into the covenant. You are adopted and sealed to parents who loved/love you, why are you worried about eternal consequences about which we have no idea? as asked previously what benefit do you feel will come by having your sealing canceled? Also, I'm not even sure it can be done.
  9. two months is not enough time to quit in, but he's been thinking about it for 4.5 years. He admits he's been faking it. I would put pressure on him to produce actions and answers. Go to counseling individually, and as a couple. If he wants to make the marriage work he has to invest, that's just the way it is. If he is unwilling to invest then you don't really have to decide much, he will have already made that decision.
  10. no need to talk to the bishop. you can take the sacrament if you want. Neither recreational gambling, nor drinking coffee are major sins.
  11. James E Talmage... Anything he wrote. you're right though, most of the deseret book stuff is fluff....
  12. I would forego any blessing on a pizza. It's like at a ward activity the other week when our bishop blessed the refreshments (cookies, cake, and milk) to nourish and strengthen our bodies....... :-/
  13. I agree with this. I do not eat prime rib very often. That is eating differently than I would any other day. I would get a prime rib on conference Sunday..... If the OP is uncomfortable with eating out on the Sabbath, how do they reconcile staying at a hotel? Maids work, building maintenance works, the concierge works, the receptionist in the lobby works. They are all working because people are staying at the hotel on a Sunday.
  14. The OP is out of town he should go and get something to eat when he gets hungry. He is staying in a hotel, is he not going to have the maids clean that day? where does it stop? and how does eating a basic meal make you more or less righteous than if you go somewhere "over the top"? Define "over the top" either way someone's working on sunday....
  15. Red Iguana. Get reservations. Get Cochinita pibil.
  16. Good advice has been given here. If you truly love your boyfriend, and if he truly loves you, then individually going through the repentance process is likely the best road. This may mean you have to break up/not see each other for a year. It will hurt now, but it will be insignificant to a failed marriage w/ children later in life. FYI, a year isn't very long.
  17. saddly, I agree. There is a missionary in our ward right now, who will in the next year and a half have the label RM, and I would never allow my daughter to date him........ It is never a guarantee, all you are doing by dating an RM is increasing the odds.
  18. In fact we throw the word addiction around as if it applies in all case, but it does not. "true" addicts exhibit certain traits and behaviors, which have been discussed on this thread. If you quit something and you defined yourself as "addicted", then I question your diagnosis. Just because someone does something regularly does not make them an addict. Same applies for pornography. For the OP she needs to be very direct with a person she intends to be serious with and ask about their past, their present, and their attitudes towards pornography in general. That is the only way she can make an informed decision. I think as has been previously mentioned here she should seek an RM, someone who is strong in the church. It does not make for any guarantees, but it reduces the chances that there will be problems in the future.
  19. I'm not trying to define addiction, or say there are any fantasies out there. The only fantasies are those who believe their exception is the rule in general. Just because one person out of 1,000 has the ability to quit cold turkey does not mean that they are the norm. in fact far from it.
  20. Clearly I don't think Omega is trying to infer that just because someone quit doing something "cold turkey" it means they did not struggle, or were tempted. But all of the exceptions here make it sound like it is an easy thing to do. As if they are saying "just quit and be done". I think Omega is trying to say that for a true addict it just isn't that simple. True addiction, the kind of addiction that destroys lives is not overcome by going "cold turkey" Recovery from addiction is typically a long road, there are relapses, and struggles. Those that can flip a switch and just stop (if they are severe addicts) are most definitely the exception, and are typically not relevant. I'm not sure what overcoming addiction has to do with the marines....do they somehow have the inside track on overcoming addiction?
  21. 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. The OP has stated she still doesn't feel she has done enough. With that statement by her I would advise she continue to work on the marriage until she feels she has done enough, and then to continue to work even more until she can't work on it any more. Divorce is always a last resort, and should always be considered as such. see: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1993/01/i-have-a-question?lang=eng You are not required to suffer into eternity just because you married someone who doesn't want to be married to you.