mdfxdb

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Everything posted by mdfxdb

  1. doesn't change my advice. If that is in fact the case then I would encourage her to date other people and experience life a little bit more
  2. So they've been together for 5years, and he hasn't proposed? Am I the only one who thinks this is a problem? Why is she wastingher time? On top of that there are several relationship red-flags... My advice is to cut him loose, and find someone who does want to be with her.
  3. Doctrine and Covenants 9: 8-9 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall eburn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. 9 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.
  4. Keep your family together. There will be support wherever you move.
  5. I think you need to understand from your wife's point of view how destructive you have been to the relationship. You state you have not committed adultery, or been abusive. You have freely admitted your addiction. By not "making" it her problem do you really think it wasn't? By definition we also need to realize what you are telling us needs a heavy discount, this is afterall the internet, and we have not heard your wife's side of the story. There are always 3 versions/stories in these scenarios. Your version, Her version, and the truth. I suspect the truth is somewhat different than what you have described. All you can do at this point is what you have been doing. But you haven't been married very long, and you have put her through a lot. I cannot say whether divorce is the right decision for her or you, but based on what you have described I would not argue against divorce. 2 months is not a lot of time to "get over" your problems. I have seen so many times when individuals "say" they are getting better, and show improvement, so the other party believes them and much to their dismay there is a relapse/reoccurence of the problem. There does come a time when enough is enough. It's not an easy decision, and it is obvious your wife is struggling with it. If you love her set her free.
  6. I both agree and disagree with some of the comments above. We are defined by our life experiences, and how we handle them. Vort uses a Sauce analogy with and without salt. Well I would propose that the sauce is not the same without the salt, in fact..I would suggest it is completely different, even though it is a minor ingredient. Your future spouse has been shaped by his experiences, that is why you love him. You need to decide to ignore/accept his prior marriage. If you can't do that then you will always harbor some type of resentment/fear inside. I suggest you do not take that into your marriage.
  7. It is unfortunate that you are not happy in your relationship. Is your husband open to counseling? You need to decide if you can be happy for the next 40 - 50 years with a man who does not have a testimony and will not be a worthy priesthood holder in your house. No one can make that decision for you. Focus on your child, raise him/her properly regardless of your husbands feelings for the church. It is likely your husband never had a testimony, and just went through the motions so he could marry you. Once he had his "prize" he had no reason to maintain. normally people do not change, so you need to decide if you can live with him "as is"
  8. If all those who needed to be "spiritually mature" before they got married waited until they were "spiritually mature" then there would be far fewer marriages, and a lot more fornication prior to marriage. I have 2 points of view on this subject, both of which have been previously stated: 1. If you absolutely can't wait, then push the marriage date up. 2. As previously mentioned, just follow the rules. As mormons it is pretty cut and dry Don't do IT...
  9. I think you need to decide for yourself what is important to you in your spouse, and future father to your children. You are fortunate to not have children right now, and while you may love your husband and he may love you back, you need to look 5 - 10 years down the road. Aside from the church thing has he always been this way? Is this a pattern? People generally don't change, if he's always been this way then he will always be that way. If there has been an event or something that has influenced him then there is a chance he will come around. Which is it?
  10. What initially attracted you to your spouse? He must of had some unique qualities that made him attractive... Of course he does't do the things this other guy does. He's a totally different person. Everyone you meet in life is going to be different. If the guy knows you are married and is still going on like this then it is a red flag. If you are not stopping his attentions then you are in effect giving your attentions/affection to someone who is not your spouse. Think about that. Your husband will not change who he is, so why were you attracted to him? Ask yourself and evaluate those things. You will likely not get a "revelation" from the Lord regarding divorce, you will have to figure that one out for yourself.
  11. Hmm.. I do not think temptation is a sin. Wasn't Christ tempted? We know he did not sin. Actions constitute sin. Both in thought and body. I do not have any advice as to how to avoid thinking of this other person, other than when you start to do so, think of something else, concentrate on a hobby/hymn/scripture. Time will heal and make you forget.
  12. Do you still want to stay with him? see above..
  13. Respectfully I disagree, what are you going to do when they get their first job at a restaurant that serves both alcohol and coffee? And by selling the coffee are they actually "encouraging" others to do it? Is there some sort of sales pitch they are giving? What if your children someday become owners of a grocery store? Are they not going to sell coffee or cigarettes, or alcohol? What if they own/manage a hotel....
  14. Selling legally controlled substances (alcohol) to minors is illegal, and if drugs were legalized I think they would be controlled the same way. Coffee is not illegal. It is a school fundraiser... you don't have to be 18 to buy or sell it... sell the coffee...it's not a big deal. my advice doesn't change
  15. If it is legal....however marijuana is a controlled substance just like alcohol..Coffee is not. I do believe in legalization of drugs. So not a lot of traction with the comparisons.
  16. pay off debt first. Then do food storage.
  17. I worked at many restaurants, and bars and served/sold many alcoholic beverages, and coffee, cappuccino, latte's, etc... Why did I do it? I needed the money.... I did not drink, but I prepared many drinks... How is this different?
  18. ? sell the coffee...you aren't drinking it are you? Are you encouraging others to drink it? are people that normally wouldn't purchase it buying it and starting a new habit? sell the coffee...
  19. " It makes me sad to see that marriage is written off so lightly as a simple contract that should be broken if either party isn't satisfied. I wanted to post here where people understand the covenants I've made in the temple to my husband and God and my desire to maintain those covenants" Keep in mind that a covenant is a contract. Both parties have to live up to their parts. I believe as has been previously advised that he needs more help. If you are willing to put up with the lack of sex in your marriage then you are a better person than I. However, you do need to come to a conclusion as to what this will mean for you as an individual. Children, intimacy, sexual connection are all things that are powerful, meaningful, and life changing. Are you willing to give that up? How much longer will you wait?
  20. mdfxdb

    in despair

    I don't know your situation, but I will add this..You don't know that what other people go through is NOTHING compared to what you have lived through. You can't know the pain in other peoples lives. I believe we are judged as to how we handle those pains, not necessarily how much it is or how intense it is. I know people that only look at the negatives, only concentrate on the "bad" things that happen in their lives and it stymies their spiritual, emotional, and physical growth. They set themselves into a pattern where they believe only bad things happen to them, and guess what... It's a self-fulfilling prophesy... Sometimes it's depression, sometimes bad things happen to good people. Just remember you are not alone. God is there, he loves you, he wants you to grow and progress, people in your ward and family love you and want you to grow and progress. It's actually painful to watch someone you love trap themselves in a cycle of depression/angst/loneliness. Only you can snap yourself out of it. Our trails make us who we are, and how we handle those trials even more so. If we give up then we have lost. If you are depressed I suggest you seek professional help. Otherwise, decide to do something positive. Finish your education (if you haven't already), join a charity and donate your time to less fortunate, pursue a new hobby and become "excellent" at it..
  21. It's been a long time since i've read the book, but it goes into detail on the middle east, how it was, and gives insight to the fertile land it once was. and yes I agree with your opinion on the author...
  22. Oh, and Egypt was the "breadbasket" of the Roman Empire. Wars were fought over it, and thousands and thousands of people died to rule it...Things weren't always as they are now...
  23. I might suggest a few "light" reading books that can help you understand some of your questions: Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond. 1491 by Charles Mann, both of those books can address some of your questions and concerns, specifically with reference to Egypt and the "desert", and provide insight to the "evolution"of society as a whole and to some extent why things are the way they are.. I would also suggest reading "Articles of Faith" by Talmage. Also "Can science be faith promoting" by Sterling Talmage
  24. How old are you? What specifically is wrong with you? and yeah, with a statement like that you are 100% correct.
  25. Deciding which is worse is an individual decision. If you husband has stated he doesn't want to know details then please don't share them with him. That would be a huge mistake, and selfish of you. If you feel you need to talk to the bishop about it then go and see him. Since you have cut things off I would probably not bother the bishop, it sounds like you talked things through and while you didn't get into detail you did discuss what you "liked" about the other man and that was probably enough. Basically I would say you need to get over it, and concentrate on your husband. Oh, and he isn't over it, nor has he forgotten. He is giving you a huge chance to prove yourself, don't blow it by continuing to bring up the past. The more you bring up post confession the more he will wonder what else is being left out.