mdfxdb
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Posts posted by mdfxdb
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Scott. You're a smart guy.
But you don't really think the bible contains stories of actual events do you? I mean did Jonah really live inside of a whale for 3 days? Was Job a real person?
The church is true, the doctrine as currently revealed is perfect, the scriptures are true as far as they are translated correctly.
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I also like the starwalker line. I think they are cool. I have one of the ball point versions. Here is their fountain pen. http://www.montblanc.com/en-us/collection/writing-instruments/starwalker/8482-StarWalker-Platinum-Resin-Fountain-Pen.html
Very cool looking.
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2 hours ago, zil said:
Sweet! What pen(s) do you have? My aunt has two Cross pens from the 1980s or 1990s - one is super nice. Both are too skinny, IMO, but the one writes like a dream.
My next fountain pen will be this one: http://www.montblanc.com/en-us/collection/writing-instruments/meisterstueck/112670-meisterstueck-red-gold-legrand-fountain-pen.html
I have several montblanc's from the legrand line, and they are nice chunky writing instruments.
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Fountain pens are great. I use one almost everyday for signatures, and important documents. Cross makes an OK pen, Waterman makes very nice pens, as well as Montblanc. Getting a fountain pen has actually inspired me to improve my penmanship. I am actively trying to improve, as before it was the worst.
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2 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:
If he is the monster that you say he is you need to speak to an attorney ASAP. Living in the same home with him can and probably has done irreparable damage to your kids. Reconcile yourself to the fact that you will have to sell the home and move, you will split the proceeds 50/50 most likely he will pay child support and alimony.
I agree with Omega on this one. If he is that bad, then you should speak to an attorney. Are you really willing to sacrifice your happiness for a nice house? How about the happiness of your children. Omega is correct, if he is the breadwinner, then you will likely get child support and alimony.
OP, you state no alternative. See above. That's your alternative. If he is a monster, then you are harming yourself and your children by staying there. In my mind you have no alternative but to leave. Unless of course you choose to be selfish, and like to subject yourself and your children to abuse on a continual basis.
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Tell her you would like to be friends with her after her mission, and ask for her home address, or friend her on Facebook.
Then forget about her for 4 months.
- mrmarklin, seashmore and Midwest LDS
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OP has a disorder. He should seek professional help. If he wants to be logical, then the question is the following:
Will my life, and the life of those I love be better as a consequence of being an active participating member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?
If the answer is yes, then reactivate, baptize the wife.
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Do you have a current temple recommend? If so, then no problem. Go to the temple, enjoy the wedding. Trust me, your bishop isn't going over roll sheets, and comparing them to temple recommends held.
If you have an expired temple recommend, and you are new to the ward, then the Bishop is required to contact your former Bishop to discuss if there are any problems or reasons why he shouldn't issue you a new recommend. If that conversation goes well, then you should have no problem. If you are concerned about your attendance, then discuss with the Bishop. He will understand your constraints.
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5 minutes ago, Bini said:
I agree with you 100% that girls and women are in no shape or form responsible for the thoughts and actions of their male counterparts. We are not distractions and it is unfortunate that our self-worth and self-respect is directly linked to how we present ourselves in attire. How I choose to cover my body does not take away from my self-worth or self-respect. I am no less valued or have less respect for myself than any other woman who chooses to cover her body differently. This is a toxic concept that continues to perpetuate within certain groups. How you treat others and how you contribute to the world - that is what determines the kind of person you are - not what you put on your body. Again, you are not responsible for the thoughts and actions someone else has. Sadly, society has a long history of victim blaming, and while the dialogue has become better, lots of education and awareness still needs to come to light. If a man (or anyone) is having unclean thoughts and acts upon them (sexual harassment or sexual assault) - it is on him - it is not on the other party, period.
This sounds good. All women should walk around topless. I for one will take responsibility for my own thoughts. I will not hold any woman responsible for my thoughts if she chooses to associate with me with no shirt on. Modesty is completely over-rated........
- mordorbund and Anddenex
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18 hours ago, mormondad said:
After about 5 years of marriage, my wife told me she never loved me.
Everything I read talks about rekindling the lost love that was there in the beginning, but what if it was never there?? What if she married me for reasons other than love? Her main reasons were that she believed I would be a kind husband & father and a good provider. I admit those aren’t bad reasons, but I would have liked there to be some genuine romantic love on her part. I still feel like there was and I like to think there was, but there are just so many mixed messages I don't know what to think anymore.
A little background. I majorly pursued her in college and thought that I had truly won her over when we started to talk marriage. I thought it was safe to assume that her marrying me was a signal that she was just as crazy about me as I was about her...nope.
5 years later after baby number 3 we were having problems and went to counseling. We didn't realize at the time she was in the middle of postpartum depression. But that’s when it came out. I felt devastated, cheated, and that I was no more than a sperm bank and a paycheck. I realize it might not be fair to put a lot of weight in things said by a woman in the midst of ppd, but the cynical side of me thought she was in a state of such indifference that she just let her true thoughts flow. I figured the ppd was just a vehicle that allowed the truth to come out.
Fast forward five more years. We are active LDS trying to do things right, but I feel like our marriage could be so much more. I fear that our young kids will sense a disconnection in my marriage and that it will have negative implication in theirs. Even when things seem good, I always have the thought deep down that she never really loved me. It’s hard not to attribute any marital problem to that. It also wasn't very reassuring when we had another therapist a year or two later who was pretty quick to suggest divorce.
Am I overthinking this? I realize we're still much better off than many arranged marriages. I think about President Kimball’s famous quote that “almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price." (Why did he have to say “almost any”?) In the same talk he says “marriage can be, more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive.” That just seems so far out of reach for me.
Do I just settle for the fact that my wife settled for me? Or do I fight for something more? How do I come to terms and stop thinking about it? Do I talk to her? It's come up occasionally but usually in an argument (she never really acknowledges it, but she never denies it either). Do I just endure and hope for the best of the afterlife? That seems like a bleak prospect.
Thanks in advance. This one is my humdinger of the last decade.
OP,
Get a book called Fireproof. Read it and apply it. In the absence of one of the 3 A's (Adultery, Addiction, Abuse) you cannot leave. You have to think about your children. You have at least until the last one is 18/out of the house.
Your wife can learn to love you, and you can love her. Find a real counselor that doesn't suggest divorce. Talk to your bishop, he can help. If your wife doesn't want to go to counseling, then you should go alone.
- eddified, prisonchaplain, Sunday21 and 2 others
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42 minutes ago, Carborendum said:
And that is exactly what I just can't wrap my head around. If it is a collectible or work of art that you keep in a glass case, sure, I get that. But I don't carry around anything like that with me anywhere at any time. The most expensive piece of jewelry I ever bought was less than $2000 for my wife on our 20th anniversary. There's nothing else I own that is along that level of expense that doesn't have a utilitarian use.
Maybe I'm just a boring person. But that's why I can't wrap my head around something like this.
$300k for a pen.
Montblanc makes pretty good pens. Skeleton fountain pen is not my style. I like the Legrand series: http://www.ebay.com/itm/Montblanc-Signature-for-Good-Meisterstuck-LeGrand-0-9mm-Mechanical-Pencil-/112333360230?hash=item1a27970c66:g:JmEAAOSwSlBYxheB
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If I believe that 7 year old children should be allowed to smoke and drink, and in fact support that notion, then am I contrary to question 7?
If not, then why not?
If so, then can we categorize same sex marriage as being covered in question 7?
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1 minute ago, Mike said:
For starters same sex marriage is not a group nor an individual.
So do people just get an idea to support same sex marriage all by themselves? For the same sex marriage supporters, is there just a nebulous decision to support same sex marriage, independently derived from no particular source, or is there a group or individual promoting this?
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3 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:
Is it possible to support same sex marriage and hold a current temple recommend?
See below temple recommend question:
7 Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
I would want to reconcile somehow: Is same sex marriage contrary or opposed to teachings or practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?
Note the word "support" in the question......
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Omega. Pretty sure you're late to the party on this idea: http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Reformation_(LDS)_of_1856-1857
I however think we should do it again. It's been 160 years, and our ward has 506 members on the rolls with only 180 attending on a regular basis. Time to clean up.....
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OP,
You need to lay your cards out. You have been friend zoned. If you do not tell her how you feel, you will remain friend zoned, and have a broken heart at the same time. If you tell her how you feel and she shoots you down, then you will have a broken heart. No big deal, that's where you're headed anyways.
The upshot, is if she doesn't shoot you down, then you will have achieved "love"
Quit wasting your time. Tell her how you feel. Girls think about friends differently than guy's do. If you're honest with yourself you will understand that even right now as "friends" she doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her. This is why it is important to find out asap.
P.S.
You posted on an anonymous forum asking advice from strangers. You need to tuck your ego, and sense of self righteousness. You're completely right, we don't know you, we don't know her, and you don't know us. If you want validation, or a hug, go ask your mom.
- askandanswer, workingonit, zil and 1 other
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Dump the girl. Don't worry about your future wife. I wouldn't mention this mess to anyone once you have repented and are forgiven.
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20 hours ago, felicityswims said:
It affects one's mental health when you already struggle with Major Depressive Disorder and get heat stroke every time you leave the house. I'm sure Heavenly Father would rather I wear my garments part time than die of heat stroke. Doctors even advised me to go part time, and I know Heavenly Father puts our health first.
OP killed the thread with the additional information. Seems to be a lot of disingenuous question asking going on lately. When they don't get the validation they seek, all of the sudden the conditions change, and the sympathy is expected to pour in.
- meadowlark, my two cents, Iggy and 1 other
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12 minutes ago, felicityswims said:
I'm an endowed member, but I don't wear my garments all day and all night. Technically, I'm not breaking any rules, because the endowment ceremony literally only says "wear them throughout your life." I wear shoes throughout my life, too, but not all the time! I wear glasses throughout my life, but not all the time! So why do the garments need to be worn 24/7? They're supposed to be sacred, a reminder of the covenants we made, but we wear them like normal underwear, so how are they special anymore? They're not. I wear mine on Sundays and days when I need the extra strength. That's what makes them special to me, I follow the rules to "wear them throughout my life," but people think I'm wrong and that I need to wear them 24/7. Even the temple recommend questions ask: "Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple? Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?" The endowment instructions don't tell me to wear them day and night! What do you think?
I think you might have a comprehension problem. How is the commitment to wear them night and day any different than a commitment to wear them day and night?
We do wear them like regular underwear. In what way to wear them would make them special? Think about the endowment, and the symbolism of the markings. These are to be CONSTANT reminders to us, not just when we need a little pick me up.
Perhaps your bishop and stake president didn't explain the wearing of the garment? The 3 S rule?
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8 hours ago, person0 said:
Also, feel free to explain to your wife that you are being plagued with sexual thoughts about other women and are working to rid them from your mind (you don't have to tell her the specific person/people).
All of the advice here is pretty good except for the above. Whatever you do, never ever tell your wife about this. Just stop it.
You're a grown man, act like one. You know what to do, don't pretend you don't.
- Sunday21, workingonit and Vort
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21 hours ago, ray13 said:
So the fact we decided not to reproduce makes us going against the church?
So the church would encourage us to reproduce even though there is a 90% chance our children will get a disease
that will kill them before they reach 5 years of age?
I don't think the church would encourage a family going through that heartbreak.
So, this thread is dead right?
I'll answer your questions:
1. Yes
2. Your original post did not outline this as the reason, so it is invalid as a response to my response (that is my response and answer).
Since you have decided to change the parameters of your original posting, none of your following posts will be valid. If you want to start a new thread asking the same question, and stating truthfully all of the facts, then I would encourage you to do so. You would likely get significantly different answers.......
The bottomless pit of sex/pornography addiction
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted · Edited by mdfxdb
How old are your children? Is his behavior having an adverse effect on his and your relationship with them? I would say you are justified in leaving. Both for past sins, and for his current relapse. However, you have children, and their needs are paramount. If you can fake it until the last one is out of the house, then you might look at that option. If his addiction is to the point where it is making home life unhealthy, then you need to remove your children from that environment.
Abuse
Addiction
Adultery
all good reasons for divorce.