snowwhite17

perhaps I am a bit bitter... Alright... I am a LOT bitter... But I really wished that it didn't come out so obvious in my writing. I SUPPOSE I could talk to my stake pres... But he doesn't really know who I AM let alone want to listen to the pathetic problems I have, right? *sigh* Thank you for your help you guys, it means so much to me. :) I really, truly appreciate it. I have been praying to get a good answer that I can use, and it seems like I have been getting wonderful advice, and I am so very grateful! :)

First off, I AM the mom... My mother is far too ill to do anything but veg all day long... So I spend 90% of my time taking care of six kids. So, I can't really talk to her... She wouldn't listen, nor would she really care anyway... As for talking to my YW leaders... I cant... I just... Can't bring myself to have them disrespect me, like I KNOW they will! As for being in a deaf ward... My parents raised all my siblings in that ward-- they met as interpreters-- and were very well associated with the deaf community... I know how to sign, just not well enough to carry on full on conversations. ... *sigh*

You are all so kind, and considerate to my situation... Thank you so much for being so understanding... However... What can I do about my Bishop predicament? We have this language barrier, as well as I hate how non-understanding and judgemental he is... we just don't get along... How can I fix this problem?

I CANT!! He really likes me, as in, he's mentioned marriage... I dont want to say something that would hurt him... He is my best friend after all...

The law of chastity has always been my weak spot. Probably because I am so completely insecure about myself. Whenever a guy gives me the time of day, it is just that extra confidence boost, and to turn a guy on... THis is terrible, but... It makes me feel... SEXY. Like, OMGsh! I was the one that caused that! He is turned on by ME. I want it to stop. For the first time in my life I don't see myself as a daughter of God, but an... animal... However, I know I have to talk to my bishop, But I am so scared. He is deaf (I go to a family deaf ward, even though I am not deaf) I dont know the language well, and I don't want to get an interpreter, because all of the interpreters are my friends, and I dont want them to think poorly of me. Not only that, my bishop is so terribly judgemental. I have been wondering if I should just wait it out, wait until we get a new bishop... But this is a problem that needs to be taken care of NOW. Also, my, erm... Boyfriend? He is now EXPECTING this kind of stuff from me, like its a given... and I am so sorely tempted... But... THe worst part is... I dont even love him... or LIKE him.. He just makes me feel better about myself. I dont know what to tell him, because he is my best friend, and it will break his heart!! UGH! Maybe someone here has some advice... :) Thanks, Stay Beautiful xx