JudoMinja

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Everything posted by JudoMinja

  1. This is one of those empathy things. Nobody currently suffering wants to hear "Well, with an eternal perspective..." even if it's true. We know that in the grand scheme of things, death isn't really a bad thing. It's just another step forward. Yet loved ones missing an individual who's passed on still grieve. They miss them. They long for continued experiences together or further growth and life that the dead individual will now never have. I think a great comfort to individuals who are suffering is the story of Lazarus- not because Jesus brought Lazarus back to life but because Jesus wept. He didn't tell Mary, "It'll be alright. There's no need for tears, because Lazarus is fine. Death isn't a bad thing." No- Jesus wept. He shared her pain, he empathized with her sorrow. We are asked likewise to "mourn with those that mourn". I think that when facing questions about why God allows bad things to happen intellectually, this speculation and discussion is a great thing. But if someone is currently suffering and experiencing a loss, we should empathize and weep with them. Because even if it is a good thing when looked at from an eternal perspective, it is still a loss. It still hurts.
  2. Sorry- I know my post was kind of toeing the line there, but just couldn't think of how to say why I'm not voting early without expressing my little connundrum. I probably could have gone without posting it here at all though... I know this isn't the place to get into political discussions, especially about voting.
  3. I'm not voting early simply because I'm still not certain who I want to vote for. I honestly don't like either of the candidates, so I'm trying to decide which one I think will do a "better" job than the other. Since the economy is the biggest concern right now, I'm heavily leaning toward one.... but there's just so much I disagree with and dislike about both- I'm finding myself wishing I could vote for whoever I actually want to be president instead of being stuck between choosing one of two people I think will do a crummy job of it.
  4. I got that. I was refering to the op though. Vitamin C does rock.
  5. I'm confused. What are you asking?
  6. I personally don't form opinions about scientific things I haven't studied thoroughly for myself, so I can't help you much with the Egypt question or the flood question- though I might be able to get back to you on the flood after a little digging into the scriptures again as I do have a fairly decent geology background. Until I've formed my own opinion of it though, I'll defer to Vort's explanation as I trust his study of it. Now getting into topics like the order of the creation, the life-span of the earth, evolution, Adam being the first man, etc. - I can give you more information on my thoughts, speculations, and opinons as I've delved into them extensively. Mostly, I find that science does explain things very well, and there is no reason for us to think it contradicts or debunks scripture. Often I've found that reading through the actual scriptural text covering these topics while also studying the science, they actually can coincide very nicely.
  7. We know for a fact that scientific information cannot be relied upon to be 100% true or accurate. Even theories which we rely upon as a basis for all science that follows could be faulty, as with more information- more experiments, more data, more understanding- we find evidences that contradict or disprove our theories and have to adapt them. Science is ever changing. Compare that with God's word. God's word doesn't change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. While we may not always understand His word, it is always right in the end. Therefore- when in doubt we can trust God. Remember though that the bible is not written as a scientific document meant to give us facts about the universe. It is written often with allegories or metaphors, stories or anecdotes meant to bring us closer to God. Some of it's information is factual and historical, but not everything, and therefore our interpretations of it can have some leniency. Science and religion deal with different areas of knowledge as well. They both seek to answer questions about our existence, yet science asks "How?" and religion asks "Why?" Thus, science and religion can go hand-in-hand. When we recognize that all our scientific information is changing and growing, subject to biases and peer-review, and limited by our own capacity for reasoning and imagination, we can see that while science tells us much it won't ever tell us everything. It is limited by the tools we use as well- our ability for observations only going so far as we have the senses and the technology capable of measuring what we are observing. There is still so much more out there which we can't measure and cannot touch with science simply because we haven't the tools with which to collect any data. So, we can trust the information provided us with science only with reservations. The answers it gives us are not "the truth" but only "the most likely to be true based on our best observations". We can then take our scientific theories and put them up against biblical accounts of the creation or historical events like the flood to try and better understand both what is in the bible and the limitations of science. And if such information appears to be contradictory- either our understanding of the bible is faulty or our science is still in need of "tweaking" before we get closer to the truth. Or both.
  8. You are experiencing post-traumatic stress. Even though your father didn't physically harm you, that experience of him losing his temper and banging on your door was traumatic, and your emotions have been thrown out of whack. You feel overly fearful because your natural tendancy to feel anxious (probably from growing up with your father's temper) went into overdrive. It's part of a natural instinctive reaction meant to protect us from harm, and it sounds like you are feeling it enforce because your protective-mamma instinct is also taking over, making you worry for your son. I know where you are coming from. I've felt this exact same thing, because I was fearful my ex would come after me and my son after I left a very abusive relationship. I sometimes still have nightmares where he's come to find me and I have to run away or face him, but it's not as intense because he lives states away and I know he's too lazy to make the effort to hunt me down. I went to therapy and dove into my scriptures and came here. I can tell you that writing about how I was feeling has been what's helped me the most. I'd write stuff just for myself to get out my stress about some of the intense details, and when I felt like I just needed someone to read what I wrote, I'd post something here- either asking for advice or clarifying that I was just venting. And then I'd read other people's stories that were similar to what I'd been through and I'd offer them advice from my own personal perspective. Helping others face their pain and fears and figure out what to do, helped me face my own. If you are afraid of your father it is okay to cut him out of your life. No one should have to live in fear. Trying to maintain "good terms" just so you don't have to worry about him coming after you is to put yourself in a state of constant tension, always worried that you'll set off his temper and have to protect yourself. If your father makes the effort to communicate with you through the means you are comfortable with and establish a healthy relationship with you, then you might be able to get on good terms with him- but don't ever think you have to give him more attention/wiggle-room than you are comfortable giving him. If he can't handle working within your comfort zone, then all the more reason to avoid him. If he does lose his temper and come after you because you aren't giving him what he wants, do everything necessary to protect yourself and your family. Don't let him in your home. Call 911. Get the protective order. In the meantime, you need to work on rebuilding your sense of safety and overcoming your anxiety. Seek out ways you can cope like writing, talking to friends, exercising, studying your scriptures, praying, and taking whatever measures you feel necessary to ensure your safety. If you were to see a therapist about this, they would advice you to develop a "safety plan"- In the event that your father does come around with the intent to do you or your family harm, have an "escape" route planned out, a number you can call to let someone know of your plight, and a safe place to run. Having that plan can help ease some of your anxiety, because you will feel more prepared to deal with the potential danger, even if it never happens.
  9. "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ." (2 Corinthians 11:3) Looks to me like the answer to this question is "Eve was beguild". Where, exactly? Well, let's look at the account in Moses: "And Satan put it into the heart of the serpent, (for he had drawn away many after him,) and he sought also to beguile Eve, for he knew not the mind of God, wherefore he sought to destroy the world. And he said unto the woman: Yea, hath God said—Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? (And he spake by the mouth of the serpent.) And the woman said unto the serpent: We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; But of the fruit of the tree which thou beholdest in the midst of the garden, God hath said—Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman: Ye shall not surely die" (Moses 4:6-10) Right there is the lie. The serpent tells Eve that she will not die after partaking of the fruit. Yet we know that it is the eating of the fruit that resulted in being cast out of God's presence- spiritual death- and brought about the fallen state of mortality- temporal death. Typical of the adversary's cunning and subtlety, the serpent continues to coat this lie with truth: "For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil" (Moses 4:11) This bit of truth immediately after the lie communicates far more between-the-lines information. The serpent paints a picture wherein God lied in order to keep Adam and Eve from partaking of the fruit because He did not want them to gain the knowledge of good and evil that would make them "as gods". His picture is also suggestive of an immediate transformation where this knowledge instantly puts them on the same level as God, and since we know God is immortal, immortality and no death must be part of the package, yes? And it sounds as though God wanted to prevent this from happening, probably because He felt threatened by the possibility of having an "equal" who might disagree with Him and seek to thwart Him. When we remember where Satan is coming from, it is very likely that he actually believed this lie and the picture he painted, because he had been cast out of God's presence when he'd sought to claim His glory and thwart His plan. He truly did not know the mind of God and thought that through this lie and misdirection he could destroy the world, because he truly believed- and still believes- that he can threaten God's position and power and that he was cast out because God was fearful of being overthrown. Whether or not Eve was convinced of this whole picture, she believed the lie- "Ye shall not surely die", and because she now believed there would be no adverse consequence to partaking of the fruit, she did so wanting the reward of the knowledge of good and evil. She was beguiled. This is the same system Satan uses with most all his lies. He convinces us that we can break the commandments and go against God's laws and councel without experiencing any adverse consequences. He convinces us that we "shall not surely die", so that we give in to the desires of the natural man thinking we will not have to face any consequences. He takes away accountability. He beguiles all of us. In that fatal choice, mankind took a step both closer and further from God. Further, because it brought about the state of mortality, the Fall, cast out of our Father's presence and subject to the subtle temptations of the devil. Closer, because it set in motion His Plan for our progression so that we may learn of good and evil through experience and become "as gods". I would not say Eve was wise any more than we are wise, because wisdom is something that comes through experience. After partaking of the fruit, and facing the consequences, Eve may have earned some wisdom- but first, she was beguiled.
  10. I currently live in central TX, and while I personally don't really like it here the church setting isn't all that bad. However, my best experience with the church was when we lived in northern MN. It was a small close-knit town with a small enough membership that our ward boundaries extended pretty far. Everyone was very helpful, supportive, friendly, and I consider that ward the best I've ever been a part of.
  11. Yes, my brother is LDS. Social situations are so beyond him though, that he doesn't even notice the lack of people attempting to socialize with him. He would get picked on by his peers a lot when he was a youth, but it would go completely over his head. As an adult now, he doesn't have any friends his own age at church, but he enjoys spending his time with a couple of the older people (old enough to be grandparents). He's found his "comfort zone" at church, and he stays inside it. If he ever wanted to step outside that comfort zone though, I know he'd have a hard time of it.
  12. If I'm reading between the lines correctly, you need to get out of this relationship asap. The longer you stay married to this woman the more she is going to tear you up emotionally. Eventually you will have no self-respect or confidence left. What she's doing is emotional abuse. Does this sound like how you feel around your wife? "In your efforts to tiptoe around someone else’s moods, in the hope of avoiding blow-ups, put-downs, criticism, disgusted looks, sighs of disapproval, or cold shoulders, you unconsciously edit what you say. To some extent, you second-guess your judgment, ideas, and preferences about how to live. You might even begin to question what you think is right and wrong. You probably have a vague feeling, at least now and then, that you are losing yourself. Your perceptions of reality and your sense of self are changing for the worse. You may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle aches, or stomach aches." This is the resut of a test on emotional abuse. This is a REAL problem, and you shouldn't overlook it. Your wife doesn't have to be hitting you to be abusive. "Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of 'guidance,' 'teaching,' or 'advice,' the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones (Engel, 1992, p. 10)." When you confront your wife about your concerns, does she blow it off with answers like: "I never said that." "You're exaggerating." "You're blowing things out of proportion." "You're too sensitive." "I don't know what you're talking about." or "What else was I supposed to do?" "You didn't give me any other choice." "If you would just ___, then I wouldn't have to ____." And then- does she ignore the issue you brought up entirely, twisting it around to something that's wrong with you? If this sounds like your relationship, I suggest you visit this website with more information on emotional abuse. For your own health, you need to put a stop to this abuse. Get yourself out of this very damaging relationship and if you insist on continuing to try to maintain your marriage, you can only do so if you set boundaries and stand up for yourself. Susan Forward's "Emotional Blackmail" would be an excellent book for you to get, to help you learn how to recognize and put a stop to the unacceptable manipulative behaviors and tactics your wife uses. But even so, if you can't eventually get her cooperation, your relationship won't get much better.
  13. One of my younger brothers has Aspergers, and I haven't been diagnosed but always score fairly high on aspergers/autism tests. I've read Temple Grandin's books, watched her movie, and feel like I can really relate to her in some ways, though I've never had to deal with any difficulties as extreme as hers. If I do have Aspergers, I'm high functioning enough that it's basically gone unnoticed, and I don't know that I would really say I have it if it hasn't been anything more than a bit of a social inconvenience.
  14. Sounds like your both learning! Sometimes you'll be right, sometimes he'll be right, and sometimes you'll both be wrong. Lol. Try not to stress over things when you aren't agreeing on something. Don't let it lead to arguments. When you're uncertain, ask other members, research what the prophets have said, delve into your scriptures, talk to your home/visiting teachers, etc. After you've done your research and studied it out together, come to your conclusions- and if you still disagree, that's okay! There are some areas of the gospel that are pretty cut-and-dry and have clear answers, while there are other areas that are open to interpretation and the two of you won't always interpret it the same way. So it's okay to let it go and move on.
  15. Well, as far as I know, that quote from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet is the only direct advice we've been given as for when to see the bishop. People typically see their bishop for sexual sins, addictions, abuse, and crimes. Then there's the standard "when in doubt, see your bishop". This tends to apply to someone who's committed a sin like viewing pornography and has been repentant but feels uncertain about whether they should see the bishop or not. That uncertainty sometimes comes as a prompting from the spirit to either seek his help or just feel the relief of knowing they've done everything they need to do and are good to go.
  16. No problem specka, and I'm glad I didn't come across too harsh to you. I definitely understand the line of thinking about it being a temple recommend question, but I think that even with those there are things that are small that we all struggle with from time to time that we don't really need to go to the bishop about. For example: The first couple questions are about our faith and belief in God, Jesus Christ, the church, and the prophets. Yet don't we all sometimes struggle with our faith? Should we have to see the bishop when we're going through a time we feel we can't answer "yes" about are faith? What about the honesty in our dealings with our fellow men? I know we all sometimes have areas where we are dishonest in some way. We do what we can to make it right, strive to do better, and move on. But don't need to see the bishop about it. So- instead of relying on the temple recommend questions as a basis for whether something requires seeing the bishop or not, it would be better to rely on this: "Serious sins, such as sexual transgression or use of pornography, need to be confessed to your bishop." (For the Strength of Youth, Repentance) We go to the bishop when it is something we need help with- a serious sin. If your husband had a coffee drinking habit and/or addiction, that might be serious enough to need to see the bishop.
  17. Honestly, it sounds to me like you are overreacting about this. While your husband should probably make certain he is truly repentant about drinking the coffee and not having a "sin now, repent later" attitude, a "one-time" thing for something minor like this isn't really something he needs to see the bishop over. Partaking of the sacrament was enough to set him right again. If we had to see the bishop for every little thing to be considered clean enough to go to the temple, the bishop would never get anything else done. He'd be meeting with people for "confessions" WAY too much. Think about it in comparison to any of the little things you may have slipped up on during the week. Do you feel like you need to go talk to your bishop about a white lie, or failing to say a morning prayer or read your scriptures, or watching a movie or making a purchase on Sunday, or not having Family Home Evening, or any other small matter that you'd need to repent of before you feel comfortable going to the temple? No. That is what the sacrament is for. As for how to regain your husband's trust- you could try trusting him to decide for himself if he needs to see the bishop instead of telling him to do so. Any time a spouse is telling the other what they should do, they are overstepping their bounds. Even if you'd been right in this situation- like say it had been something more serious like looking at porn that he would have had to see the bishop about- if you want your husband to trust you and share things openly with you, you should share your opinion with him but leave the final decision up to him. It's his repentance at stake, and he needs to make decisions for himself, not have you making those decisions for him.
  18. Yeah, I remember punching a kid who kept bullying me in third grade, and he stopped after that. My dad told us about how he was bullied in school, but that stopped after he jumped off the monkey bars onto the kid that was bullying him. And I've heard a number of other stories about bullies that stopped after their target fought back. Sometimes though, that doesn't work. My older brother, for example, had an absolutely horrible experience with bullies. He'd fight back, but then they'd just gang up on him- a whole group following him home from school to beat him up on the way. I think standing up, violently, against a bully is in most cases a reasonable form of self-defense, and it does usually solve the problem. It depends on the individual case, but bullying is probably one of the few situations where I personally might advise someone to go ahead and do something violent. Unfortunately, school discipline systems don't support that kind of self-defense like they used to. When I punched the kid in third grade and it got brought to the attention of the principal- I explained why I punched him and didn't get in trouble, while he did. A similar situation with my sister when she slapped someone- after explaining she didn't get in trouble and the other kid did. Now- you do something like a single punch to put a bully in place and you get in trouble too. Happened twice to my youngest brother.
  19. I never went to a school that was mostly LDS, but I remember seeing a lot of bullying growing up. When it was directed at me, I mostly learned to brush it off or ignore it. Though my worst year for it was 7th grade and it was actually the other Young Women from church that were the ring-leaders of the bullying group, and interestingly 7th grade was the same year my older brother had the hardest time with bullying... and my younger sister... and my younger brother.... hmm.... I guess we were just all really awkward 7th graders? lol.
  20. This reminds me now of Alma 44:1-9 : "And it came to pass that they did stop and withdrew a pace from them. And Moroni said unto Zerahemnah: Behold, Zerahemnah, that we do not desire to be men of blood. Ye know that ye are in our hands, yet we do not desire to slay you. Behold, we have not come out to battle against you that we might shed your blood for power; neither do we desire to bring any one to the yoke of bondage. But this is the very cause for which ye have come against us; yea, and ye are angry with us because of our religion. But now, ye behold that the Lord is with us; and ye behold that he has delivered you into our hands. And now I would that ye should understand that this is done unto us because of our religion and our faith in Christ. And now ye see that ye cannot destroy this our faith. Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith. And now, Zerahemnah, I command you, in the name of that all-powerful God, who has strengthened our arms that we have gained power over you, by our faith, by our religion, and by our rites of worship, and by our church, and by the sacred support which we owe to our wives and our children, by that liberty which binds us to our lands and our country; yea, and also by the maintenance of the sacred word of God, to which we owe all our happiness; and by all that is most dear unto us— Yea, and this is not all; I command you by all the desires which ye have for life, that ye deliver up your weapons of war unto us, and we will seek not your blood, but we will spare your lives, if ye will go your way and come not again to war against us. And now, if ye do not this, behold, ye are in our hands, and I will command my men that they shall fall upon you, andainflict the wounds of death in your bodies, that ye may become extinct; and then we will see who shall have power over this people; yea, we will see who shall be brought into bondage. And now it came to pass that when Zerahemnah had heard these sayings he came forth and delivered up his sword and his cimeter, and his bow into the hands of Moroni, and said unto him: Behold, here are our weapons of war; we will deliver them up unto you, but we will not suffer ourselves to take an oath unto you, which we know that we shall break, and also our children; but take our weapons of war, and suffer that we may depart into the wilderness; otherwise we will retain our swords, and we will perish or conquer. Behold, we are not of your faith; we do not believe that it is God that has delivered us into your hands; but we believe that it is your cunning that has preserved you from our swords. Behold, it is your breastplates and your shields that have preserved you." You attribute the "blessings" you see to "cunning". It's just the way things are- people who are more prepared with "breastplates" and "shields" will be "preserved". Yet, Moroni thought to armor his people not because of his cunning, but because of his faith. If anyone is a great example of one of God's "chosen" it is Moroni, yet God did not do anything for him that made it so that he could obviously claim "I am blessed". He gave him strength, boldness, courage, etc. Moroni went first to his prophet for direction when determining where to send his armies and always attributed all the good he received and his victories to the Lord. That is how blessings work. They are small things. Unrecognizable things. They are the "breastplates" and the "shields" and the added strength and conviction that comes from fighting for a worthy cause. Yes, that's the way things are- because that's the way God works. If He worked in a more obvious way, following Him wouldn't require faith, now would it? It may be nothing more than the way we look at things. I see blessings. You see breastplates. But I cannot convince you to see through the eyes with which I see. You have to decide that for yourself.
  21. So you're concerned specifically about verse 13? "And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine." There is a footnote with the word "used" that links to D&C 59:16-20: "Verily I say, that inasmuch as ye do this, the fulness of the earth is yours, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which climbeth upon the trees and walketh upon the earth; Yea, and the herb, and the good things which come of the earth, whether for food or for raiment, or for houses, or for barns, or for orchards, or for gardens, or for vineyards; Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul. And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used, with judgment, not to excess, neither by extortion." (bold added) I believe the reason meat was considered to be "in season" during the winter or cold months because that was when it was possible to store it without it spoiling or going rotten. Since we now have ice-boxes and freezers that allow us to keep meat cold year round, it is technically "in season" all year, just as many fruits and veggies we now eat are considered in season all year because technology has made them more readily available. So, we make it a point to focus more on the word "sparingly" in verse 12. We strive to make sure we are eating in moderation, not in excess, exercising temperence. Although... it is quite possible there are added benefits to eating foods with their natural times "in season", which would include only eating meat in the winter. However, doing this would require some added effort and research- perhaps only getting your food fresh from a farmers market instead of a supermarket and hunting/fishing for your meat instead of purchasing it.... It's something I've considered trying myself, but have yet to take the time to make the changes to my lifestyle/diet and try it out.
  22. Set an appointment with your bishop just to talk to him. Seeking his help will be such a blessing to you! Masturbation is probably one of the most common things bishops meet with individuals about, and if he's not a brand new bishop, I'm sure your approaching him about this will be an issue he is familiar with handling. You sound like you want very badly to overcome this and just can't seem to do so on your own. You need help! You need the help of the Savior, and the bishop is there to aid you in providing you an opportunity to have someone other than yourself hold you accountable, to bring your secret out into the open, to provide the tools and direction to help you make a workable plan of action, and so much more. If a letter is what you need to help you make that first step- go ahead and write the letter. But don't delay. The longer you delay, the more you will allow yourself to feel fear and despair. There is such sweet relief waiting for you! You can overcome this struggle. You just need help.
  23. One example of blessings- per your definition of "God's favor"- that may not be easily recognized comes from the story of Daniel, Sadrach, Meshack, and Abednigo where they did not partake of the king's meat. They set themselves apart from the other youth selected to be brought up as the king's wise men and given the "king's favor" by following the diet recommended to them by their scripture as opposed to that offered by the king. Because of this, they were blessed with greater health than those who followed the king's diet. Likewise, we can receive God's favor to our health in following the Word of Wisdom: "And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones; And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures; And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint. And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the destroying angel shall pass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them. Amen." (D&C 89:18-21) Of course, people tend to overlook these blessings either because they focus on the "don'ts" of the WoW or because others not of the church receive the same blessings for following similar dieting counsel supported by science. The last one specifically- the destroying angel passing us by- can go completely unnoticed because we rarely recognize when bad things don't happen. Many of God's blessings for following His commandments are similar to this. Following the law of chastity- for example- results in no STDs, not having to deal with the heartache of adultery or premarital births, etc. Other blessings are indirect. For example, obeying the law of tithing provides for the use of our church buildings and therefore gives us a location to officiate the blessings of the sacrament. It also provides for those who end up having to use the bishop's storehouse and so someone who falls on hard times is then blessed by their own giving and the giving of others should they need to ask for this help. Faithfully completeing our home and visiting teaching provides us with connections in the church so we can build and maintain friendships and recognize when individuals are in need of a little extra attention or help with meals or yard work or moving, etc. Listening to the advice of the prophets and maintaining food storage helps again when we fall on hard times and have to utilize that food storage to get by, or enables us to bless others by giving that food storage away when they might need it. Those in high-school- rising early for seminary helps instill self-discipline and gives them a positive start to their day so that not only are they gaining greater knowledge of the scriptures but are blessed by the influence of the spirit throughout their day and must plan their time for homework and extracurricular activities accordingly so that they can get adequate rest. When you think about your current lifestyle, your family, etc. and compare it to the lives of the average non-religious individual there are SO MANY blessings we may take completely for granted that we receive just from living the teachings of the gospel. We have to have faith that these teachings are good for us and will be a blessing to us if we are to truly commit ourselves to living by them. The world around us seems to split both ways on everything, with many people outside the church recognizing the good that comes from healthy chaste living and following it without any real direction to do so and still many others going the opposite direction and living the "eat, drink, and be merry" lifestyle and suffering for it. We see the evidence of keeping or not keeping the commandments in the lives of everyone all around us. Rather than asking yourself if these people are religious- ask yourself if they are following the advice which you know comes from God, even if they do so unwittingly. If they are, are they being blessed for it. And if they are not, are they suffering for it? While there are certainly some people out there who seem to be "blessed" for their wickedness, like lying or cheating their way into positions of authority or seeking to get gain through the failings of their neighbors, you can be certain as well that "wickedness never was happiness" and they will just as easily lose what they've gained and find themselves worse off than if they'd just been honest. Then too- there are many blessings which are completely spiritual and have no temporal side to them that would even be visible from an outside glance. What of the blessings of temple attendance and being sealed to your kindred dead? What of the blessings of the atonement and being forgiven your sins and shortcomings so that you needn't pay the price for them yourself? What of the blessing of overcoming the adversary's influence so that the devil can not claim you his and drag you down the his gulf of bitterness and misery? What of the gift of the Holy Ghost who can be your constant companion, guide, influence, and comforter if you strive to keep yourself in tune with the promptings of his still small voice? What about the blessings of the Priesthood- the power to act in God's name, to officiate the sacrament, to give blessings of healing to the sick, to officiate temple ordinances, to give and receive Patriarchal blessings, and so much more? Can anyone who has not turned their life over to God- to be one of His chosen and protected people- claim such blessings? Some might say that all these things aren't really blessings from God. We have the science and the know-how and studies and examples to prove how diet and exercise works and what's best for our health. We have all the science and know-how and studies and examples to prove how living chaste helps us avoid diseases and social complications. How raising kids in a family setting instead of singly better prepares them for their own successful lives. How being prepared, planning ahead, and storing for hard-times helps us overcome disasters both natural and financial. And so on and so forth. And all those "spiritual" blessings- do they really mean anything if we can't see the results? Is the Holy Ghost really there or do we just kid ourselves with our "feelings"? But if these people were so right about it not coming from God, about the results of our lifestyles being so obvious and the spiritual blessings being so meaningless- why then, has this counsel and advice been handed to us through the mouths of prophets before we had any scientific evidence to back it up? And why are there so many people who continue to live contrary to such advice- if the blessings are so obviously apparent? The iron rod, the word of God, is a blessing in and of itself which we now have in our hands through the most miraculous means. Those who wrote the records we now find in the Book of Mormon wrote them for us, often not knowing the purpose behind their words. Not knowing how God would make use of their testimonies and experiences. But He preserved those words and saw that they were found and translated and printed to go out to all the world. That book alone is a miracle you can be greatful for. Technology facilitating the work of God through increased speed of communication around the globe is a miracle. That we can sit in our homes to watch conference, participate in forums like these, converse with missionaries, read the manuals of the church and so much more through this near instantaneous exchange and storing of information is a miracle. Temples dotting the globe so that more and more people can participate in seeing these ordinances done and the completion of this great work is a miracle. Our ability to help with geneological research and indexing at the click of a button... So many blessings are widespread and reach members and non-members alike because God is no respector of persons, we are all His children, and He delights to bless us. He wants us to take advantage of those blessings, and He wants everyone to come unto Him. And then, there are those blessings which can be had only by His covenant people, because they require the making and keeping of sacred covenants. Yes, the rain falls on the just and the unjust, and the sun shines on the just and the unjust, and the chain of cause and effects - choices and consequences remains unbroken. Certain actions and decisions lead to blessings, while other actions and decisions lead to suffering. God gave us commandments and counsel and advice and showed us the Way to live a blessed life, and as we- as a people- follow that Way we are blessed. When we and/or those around us fail to live up to His way, suffering follows. Maybe directly upon the individual who acted wrongly and maybe upon others, maybe immediately and maybe delayed, but all suffering, pain, and hardships -excluding things like natural disasters or illnesses that are just part of our fallen state of mortality- come from our inability and/or unwillingness to live according to God's word.
  24. I understand your "event" isn't the whole story- I'm just trying to use it as a building point since it was one of the turning points in your crisis of faith. I know you wouldn't be considering removing your name from the records if you hadn't already given this a lot of thought and felt certain about your belief- or lack thereof. I'm just hoping that my thoughts might facilitate discussion and maybe bring up things you may not have considered yet. Understand- I'm speaking as someone who believes whole-heartedly in the "LDS God", and my belief comes from overcoming my own crisis of faith and my devoted study as I've tried to gain a deeper, more concrete understanding of the gospel. I'm trying to build on knowledge that should be familiar to you because of your background with the church, but also to throw off many of the misconceptions that can come from a "surface" understanding and lead people astray. The more you respond to my thoughts, the more I know if I'm going the right direction or just covering things you've already considered. As to your thoughts about other faiths- Remember that with our missionary efforts we strive to have people keep the good they already have and merely build upon it with the knowledge we share with them. People don't have to be LDS to be blessed. They don't have to be LDS to have faith. There is truth all around us and many religions have varying portions of truth. Even those who are not religious, like atheists or scientists (not that all scientists aren't religious- just pointing out another different line of thinking) are privy to portions of truth that can help guide and direct them in their lives. And we are all given the "spirit of Christ" which helps us in dissecting truths from falsehoods. It is my belief, however, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has the FULLNESS of the Truth. AND that there is still more yet to be revealed to us that we do not know. This knowledge and spiritual understanding, however, is both simple and complex. It has the potential to become confused because of its simplicity and our tendancy to complicate it where it needn't be, as well as to be entirely misunderstood because of its complexity. There are many many details which come together to make the whole, and it is in those details that we can often find ourselves tripping over misinformation the adversary likes to squeeze in. His lies can even find themselves embedded in the culture of the church and misrepresented as doctrine- and so he is able to lead even the "elect" astray with his cunning devices. I only hope that you are convinced it is not yet time to give up on His church. I think it is time for you to re-examine the areas of the gospel you are struggling to understand- like faith, agency, mortality, adversity, and the withdrawal of His presence. I think you can still find the answers, especially within the Book of Mormon, because I truly believe that one can draw nearer to God through that book than any other. Don't just read the scriptures- study them. Go into them looking for the answers to your questions and doubts. Take the topics that are troubling you and search them out, along with anecdotal material from manuals, talks, ensign articles, etc. And of course- continue to act and serve those around you, because you certainly cannot come to understand how His blessings and interactions with His children work if you are not seeking such interaction and striving to aid His hand.
  25. Three main points here- 1. The way your bishop handled your food help was not, from what I understand, the correct way to go about it, and whatever hurt you garnered from that experience, I think, falls on his shoulders and not Gods. I was receiving help from the bishop's storehouse while I was with my now-ex, and I've also done quite a bit of volunteering helping at the storehouse. My experience with it is not perfect, but here's my understanding of what should have happened: Your bishop should have been meeting with you regularly not just to fill food orders but to discuss your plans and your budget. He should have been giving you counsel and suggestions, checking up on your efforts to get another job, etc. AND, he should have been asking you to perform some kind of service in return for the help you were receiving. Yes, it is meant to be temporary- but he shouldn't have just cut you off like that. I'm sorry you went through that. 2. I can most definitely empathize with the job situation, and I'm sure many others who've faced the hardships of the shifting economy can also. The job I have now is only minimum wage and just barely enough for me to get by living in a tiny cheap apartment, getting food stamps and medicaid, and paying my parents for their car and having them sometimes have to grace me a payment so I can afford things like clothes or shoes. I've gone through the effort of finishing my schooling and am constantly putting out applications to everything I can find that will provide better and that I'm qualified to do- even if it isn't the kind of job I'd prefer, and I keep hitting brick walls. So, I go through temporary bouts of depression and wondering if my education is really worth it or how I'm supposed to work my way out of my little financial black hole, but then I get right back up and keep on trying and keep looking for other ways I can improve my chances of getting an interview or broadening my horizons for other possible jobs. And I know too that even if I never get another job, the one I have is at least good enough for me to get by, even if I'll never get ahead. 3. I think it is quite possible God has blessed you and you've just overlooked those blessings because they weren't what you expected, or they were so small and trivial that they could have been contributed to something or someone other than God. From Vort's comment- the only premise of the four he listed that was true was the first one. "If I have sufficient faith, God will bless me." The rest builds off that one point, but is all false, because the blessings He gives us aren't going to always be directly correlated to our pain or even neccesarily recognizable as blessings. You mentioned having a substitute job and your wife working- could it be that those jobs were blessings in your time of need? There are also blessings of comfort, health, strength to endure, and other very subtle things that can easily be overlooked. Those miracle stories about the person who landed the perfect job at the perfect moment or had their home miraculously saved from foreclosure, or somehow ended up with money that tided them over but seemed to come from nowhere- those are Not the norm. If we go about our lives expecting those kinds of miracles we are going to be disappointed, because that's not normally the way God works. For every story like that there are thousands of others like yours where God did not intervene. Like the tragedy of 9/11- there were many stories shared about people who should have been there during the attack, but through some small act or twist of fate they were not- yet those stories were few compared to the number of people who lost their lives, for whom God did not intervene. Yes, faith requires action and trust, but it also requires trusting in what is true and not a false premise. So what is true? How will God help you? Remember, his purpose is your spiritual growth. This requires letting go of the things that shift around you and cannot be trusted to remain constant- like jobs, homes, friendships, financial security etc. All those things can disappear in the blink of an eye. The only constant is the Savior- "remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." (Helaman 5:12) There is no promise that you will not lose your job, your health, your home. Yet we are promised that our lives will not be lost to despair if we remain solid on the foundation of our Savior. Even in poverty, stricken with cancer, or any number of other possible hardships that could potentially endure for the rest of your life, you can find peace. I think your understanding of this has been faulty, and this is why you now find yourself doubting God. Instead- you should seek to correct your understanding of Him through more fervent study of the scriptures and words of the prophets. You can have a close relationship with Him and rebuild your faith in Him as you strive to recognize HOW he blesses you and learn to let go of those things that can be so easily taken away.