Marchman

Im sorry that you have issues with those type of things. Through out my life I've noticed this pattern and the only thing I could share with you, which is my opinion but seems to do good for me, is to not deal with this alone. As you know this is probably just going to be with you for the rest of your life. Life at times is not fun; it's stressfull, annoying, and dissapointing. There's times I felt that I should be big enough to handle these things by myself. I realize though that just because I continually go to others and talk to them about certain things it doesn't make me weak or look crazy. So continue talking to those people you know you can rely on. When you have those realy good days write them down in your journal. And then go back to those days when you are having those episodes.

I would say get baptized. The reason why I say that is because there are somethings that you are doing on your on your own in investigating the church. Your in this forum asking for advice. These are all signs showing some of us that you want to do this the right way besides doing this because her parents wont let you progress with her untill your baptized. This is part of life. My girlfriend influenced me to go on a mission. My wife influenced me to be stronger in the church. I stopped cussing when my daughter told me that I needed to stop. I believe women are here to help refine us men.

I have read alot of this thread and I like what you both had to say on this subject Seminarysnoozer. I think the thing is is there are minds that are not prepared to accept things that are by the spirit. And when I say that Im not siding with anyone, Im saying that as we progress in this life in righteousness the spirit is able to reveal to us some things that are pertinant for us to know. As Ammon said in his return from his mission "..what natural man is there that knoweth these things? I say unto you, there is none that knoweth these things, save it be the penitent....yea unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be given to reveal things which never have been revealed.."

Hey. I think your screen name is the answer to your query. Just kidding. I think its ok and healthy to have a genuine intrest in trying to expand your faith and testimony. Joseph Smith encouraged the saints to " know the character of God, the image of God, and the workings of God". I do believe that if your heart is in the right place, meaning you sincerely want to follow the gosple then its ok to ask the Lord concerning these things. The reason why I say that is you are trying to learn and see these things for your self and you need to find out first hand, through prayer, whats ok to ask for and what is not ok. I think the lord will let you know what's ok and since your a humble follower he wont mind you asking things that might be amiss to help tutor you and learn more of his ways and his will. Understand and know that by the holy spirit is where we will find our profound proof. The best proof and witness you can get is when the holy spirit speaks to your spirit, when this happens what other proof do you need. When that light and inteligence flow into you wouldn't that be proof enough? As you draw closer for him in searching out for him, he in turn will be searching out for you. Remember, to keep yourself sensitve to the holy ghost.

I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you. So far as you can see that our hearts reach out for you in your difficult time. Now I've never been in a situation where infidelity has come to me in my personal life, but I've had some situations that happened to me where I felt very alone, depressed, felt like I couldn't move on. I felt " stuck in second gear". This was a situation that happened on my mission and it was very traumatic for me. I think your doing the right things: reaching to god, talking to others about it. This is going to take some time to heal from. You have gone through, and still are somewhat going through, something that is testing your emotions. As far as you have texted it looks like you are trying to make things work and I admire your strength in wanting to salvage as much as you have in your realationship. I know though that the healing power of the Atonement is a real thing. I know that the Savior in our most troubled and deepest moments still has the ability to heal people like you and others. I just encourage you to hang tight. The lord will answer your prayers; just know that answers to prayers sometimes can be a process that we have to be patient with. Keep praying and feeling for the promptings of the spirit.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with some of these things with your husband. I'm a married man and have certain issues with stuff kinda like what your husband is doing- minus the affairs. The reason why I would do some of the things your husband does is because I dont feel good about myself. Stress and frustration about certain things can activate it. It was heaviest when I had frustrating times with the wife- like arguing over and over about the stupidest things. Every guy has a natural sexual drive that I dont think some women understand. I think its a thing the lord has given men to successfully fill the earth with seed. It is a strong drive and men are supposed to learn how to control it. Some have the ability to hold it down ( notice how I said hold it down, never does it go away), but for others it is a struggle, and for others they dont want it to go away because they are having to much fun. You said also that he was having affairs? Where they in the past or are they still happening? Im assuming that it was in the past? I hope so because if it's not then you need to send him a wake up call, a serious one. I know you dont want to hate him but if he is still having affairs with other people he's doing something very damaging to the relationship and especially to you. A man in this situation has to learn a lesson from this. If he is still having affairs he is not thinking at all about you or concerned for your wellfair. You need to take car of you right now. He's not going to change untill something bad happens, like, you do leave him. Some men dont wake up and start to change till they realize that they have lost everything. It's called reality. It has the same laws as gravity. We can defy it all we want untill we finally slip, fall, and recieve internal bleeding. And that's when we realize there's now a boundry.