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  1. True. I also think it depends what you did. I mean murder is a sin. But so is stealing. So hell is hell, but should someone who stole a pack of gum go to the same hell for the same length of time as someone who murdered an entire family? I think that mentality kind of gives off the impression of "Why stop at small sins, if all sinners get the same punishment?" Haven't read much scripture in my life, but it kind of leads me to believe that there are just as many different degrees of consequence and duration of consequence in the afterlife as there are sins. Not just one.
  2. Everyone always says you go to hell if you commit suicide. But I really don't understand why that is. I mean... Punish someone because they are so sad that they don't wanna live anymore? Or because they kept trying to think of reasons to live and they couldn't find any? I mean even here on earth, we tend to give these people therapy, rather than throwing them in prison. I just don't understand why in heaven, its not also understood that such people need help more than punishment.
  3. Thank you everyone, I am such a mess right now... I'm still trying to get out there, because I need to help. I do have brothers and sisters (5 of them, half of us are Dad's biological kids, and half are not (I am), but he still raised even the kids who weren't his own, as if they were. And they see him as their Dad too. not all of us can go though (maybe half) because we are still recovering from Mom's death financially, and the traveling we did for that. None of us really have money.... The VA (he was a veteran) will only cover like $300 of the final arrangements because he didn't die in a VA hospital (had it been a VA hospital it would be $700). So we are probably looking at cremation... It was 750 for my mom. So hopefully we will be able to scrape up enough for Dad, I don't know.
  4. he's gone, my dad is gone my brother just called and told me he was sitting by dads bed for like 9 hours and he just flat lined a few minutes ago. this can't be real.
  5. Thank you for your support, its just really hard. I'm only 32 and I still feel 18. My only actual HOME was with Dad. I went to live with him after my divorce. So now I am on the east coast, to visit with a guy from a marriage website I was considering marrying, and this happened while I was out here. So ... I pretty much feel homeless, because I can't afford to keep Dad's place up and running by myself. I am unemployed right now. My "potential fiance" paid for my ticket here. So other than being here, I feel like I have nowhere to go.
  6. Hey everyone. First, even if all you can do is pray or offer a blessing... Please do, because heaven knows I need it right now. I haven't been here in ages... But in times like this you need all the godly fellowship, prayers and help you can get. I am really at the end of my rope, emotionally, like my whole life is just falling apart. This is really all just too much for me. I lost my mom of a heart attack in July, 2013. Then last night (December 5th, 2013) I got a call from my brother saying our Dad was in the hospital on life support, because he had pneumonia, a seizure AND a heart attack all at once! I mean this is BOTH of my parents in 5 months! Both of them were LDS. I'm currently staying on the east coast (USA). Dad is on the West coast. My friend Grace set up a fund raiser page to help me scrape up enough to get a round trip ticket to go out there and be by his side. Maybe even help with some final expenses... Every little bit helps, so if anybody here wants to help out, it would be greatly appreciated. Here is the page: [Moderator removed link] It kills me he has pet dogs who depended on him, and a new house he was trying to build (his dream home, its unbearable that he won't even get to finish it or live in it). Just NOBODY is ready to lose him, so much is unfinished. I don't understand how he could go... Thank you in advance. I don't know what we will do about his unfinished house, or his funeral expenses, or his dogs, or anything... But I have to be there.
  7. Well, I wasn't really active the last place I lived. And here, they don't really have a ward. So I guess I don't really have a "ward clerk" or "bishop" that I could talk to. That's why I was trying to see if there was another way. I have no idea what my "membership number" is, or anything. As for why the VA needs a church record--- Hahaha, well I was applying for VA education benefits, to pay for college. My dad has 100% service-connected disability, and they will cover college expenses for any children who were your dependents, while you were on active duty (but you had to be LIVING with the veteran while you were a minor). The VA said that one of the documents they would accept as "proof" of this--- is a baptism or church record, because it states your legal guardians from that time. We have moved around so much (and I as an adult have moved a lot too)-- I just don't have any records from when I was under 18, anymore. Of all the options-- Church records seem like they would be the easiest thing to track down.
  8. Hello all, I need a copy of my baptism/membership records, for VA education benefits purposes. But I recently moved to an extremely rural area, not much in the way of LDS churches around here. We live VERY far from town. We only go into town to go grocery and supply shopping like once or twice a month. So simply talking to a local clerk or bishop is not so easy for me, lol. Is there another way I can get copies of them? Email correspondence with church records, maybe? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  9. I am sorry if this offends anyone, but I believe that unless it is 100% necessary for survival-- a polygamous marriage is NOT healthy. Not at all. For two reasons-- nearly all of the time, the following is true: 1. One person believes that they deserve a faithful spouse... But their spouse does not not deserve the same. That is a sign that the person in question thinks lowly of their spouse in some way, and that's not good. 2. The other person has some kind of issue, causing them to believe that they only deserve HALF a spouse, or less. Whatever that issue is, said person has some MAJOR self worth and security issues. And again, that's not good. Anybody who only wants to take on half of a marriage (its incomplete because neither of you are experiencing complete faithfulness, either from yourself or from the other person)-- they must not be complete on the inside.
  10. That's also true. I hope he really didn't mean that... Well, I'm SURE he didn't, but maybe you could just say this is something for your own personal growth, and he doesn't have to feel threatened by it. You don't have to answer if you prefer not to say, I'm just curious, but... Is he non-denominational? Non-Christian? Or is he perhaps an atheist? If he's an atheist, that might be a bit more difficult... Because in that case, its not just this particular church, or churches in general that offends him-- its faith in God all together. In that case, you'll need to take a long, hard look at things. Whether or not God exists, is a lot more profound a difference than one religion vs. another. Despite their differences, all religions at least have the belief in God in common.
  11. SpringGirl-- Agreed. Just as another example of how two people from VERY different walks of life can still make it work-- There is actually a Muslim man who is somewhat interested in me now. He is currently my best friend in the whole world. He's an English teacher, very intelligent, very educated, and very kind to everyone. But I told him that I need "time" before I try any other relationships, which is understandable, lol. Anyway, we have our conversations, and its good to make and example of them, I think. We were discussing what would happen if we did become a couple in the future. Like children and such... He said that in his religion, it is actually strictly FORBIDDEN to allow your children to be raised as non-Mulims, and there are serious consequences for allowing this. So he would have to raise them Muslim, and it was NOT something he was permitted to negotiate about. I said, "Well, I don't mind that... But they would have a Christian/American mother. So try as I might, they will be exposed to some bits of Christianity. I decorate my house during Christmas. I make Christmas and Easter dinner... I got o church on Sundays. And if they ask me about god or heaven, I can only tell them what I know..." He said, "I don't mind if you decorate for Christmas, or make religious meals. I don't care if you keep a holy week end. Muslims do as well, only for us, it is Friday, not Sunday. The Qur'an says we must honor ALL prophets and significant religious figures. Its says there are only 3 religions that God will accept as valid-- Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. Our book contains all the same old testament stories and names as the bible does. And some new testament as well. We do believe that Jesus (peace be upon him) was born to a virgin named Mary, and that he performed great miracles, through the will of god, such as healing the sick and raising the dead. We do believe that he was sent to earth to teach and spread the word of God. So naturally, I do not mind if you want to celebrate his presence on earth. He is a sacred soul. But it is little things like calling God "father". We do not do this, for us its forbidden. Our relationship with God is not a father/child relationship. It is a master/servant relationship. We submit to his will, even if we do not like it, or agree with it. We also believe that Jesus was saved by God and drawn up to heaven without dying, the way Elijah was. But that another man was thought to be him, and was crucified. So when you speak to the children about religion, you would have to be careful about little things like that. Just say things that would apply to ANY faith. And they would not be allowed to attend Christian church functions. Muslim children are not allowed to be directly exposed to other temples, until they fully and completely understand their own faith." And to me, that's no big deal, really. I can just learn to say "God" instead of "Heavenly father". And just say "when Jesus ascended to heaven" instead of "when Jesus was crucified" (because even we believe that in the end, after being resurrected, he ascended to heaven). So its not that far of a stretch. But its all about working with each other. Working around differences.
  12. I just got divorced. But not because of religion. Although my ex and I were of different faiths. I was raised LDS, but rarely attended most of my adult life. He was Catholic, but never attended. We NEVER fought about religion. It was just never a problem. First piece of advice-- DO NOT place a lot of value on him "coming around". Do not demand it. Do not try to make him. just because he doesn't go to your church, does not mean you can't be together, and be perfectly happy. Really, DON'T start this out with the the expectation, or even the HOPE that he will join. That will only lead to disaster . I personally think that in a healthy relationship, you can be from different planets, and it will still work if you are both good people, leading a clean life, and are very tolerant. And it helps if you naturally enjoy learning about and experiencing other lifestyles/cultures/religions. Which I do! I'm naturally inclined toward exploring that, and always have been. That's why I don't mind other faiths. So I think maybe you should explain to your husband that you converting to a church, is not going to mean that you will be trying to convert HIM at every turn. That you're not gonna be trying to dominate the upbringing of any kids, and leave his opinions and influence out of the parenting. I think he's just afraid of that. Maybe he wants things between you and him to be the same, and he wants to continue being free to be whoever he is. Some people are afraid of churches/denominations. They feel like it takes away your individuality, and your own opinions. And some denominations actually do! lol. But you gotta reassure him that you are not joining to put a wedge between the two of you. And that nothing in your relationship is going to change. This is just something that makes you feel better. Live up to that promise too, above all else.. Don't come home and talk "church this, church that, scripture, scripture, scripture". Because that is really going to drive him away. I know when you are having great feelings and experiences, and you are discovering amazing spiritual things, you just want to tell everybody about it, and get them wanting what you have... But that's just not a good idea in some situations. My suggestion-- if someone from the church invites you to go anywhere (RS get-togethers, VT stuff, lunch, play dates, etc.), or any church functions... Just say those people are your "friends" and you're gonna go do something fun to get out of the house. Its not necessary to mention to your man that its a "church function", or that you know those people from the church-- because that just makes it look like its taking over your life. That will scare him too. Let all the members in the ward know about your delicate situation, and ask them if they come by your house, to please not amplify that their relationship to you is purely church-related. Ask them to introduce themselves simply as "your friends", or perhaps, friends of the family. The only condition I have in relationships for religion, is that neither of us tries to convert the other. A man can tell me about his beliefs all he wants, and I will tell him mine. Just so we can learn about where we are both coming from. But we do not argue about which is "better". Everything else-- I know that God will sort it all out later. So I don't worry about it.
  13. Dahlia-- Thank you :) Yeah, I think Community Colleges are better. The DI website says they partner with community colleges for education, so I will ask them if I can do training at a CC. I spoke to a woman over the phone at DI, and she says "We always have our trainees work while they go to school". So that will be good. I guess the only advice I can give other women out there is-- whether you want a career, or you want to be a homemaker-- always have a backup plan. Seriously. Go to school, get some training, and work for a while BEFORE you get married or have kids. I don't mean you should be constantly paranoid about losing what you have... I just mean never let yourself to get caught in a position where you would end up like me, if something WERE to happen. Because it is possible no matter who you are, where you are from, or how involved in the church you are. And if like me, you didn't do that before you got married-- start doing it now, lol. At least the schooling part.
  14. Iggy-- Yeah, I was thinking about drawing blood as a career... Or maybe going with my natural talents, like any kind of office job training, because I'm actually really good on the computer and I type pretty fast. So I figure if I got brushed up on all the office programs commonly used, and had some kind of certification or training course to list on a resume, that would look pretty good. :) Haven't heard of CSC yet, but I will check them out too :) The reason I figured the church might be a good way to go, is because California's state budget for such programs is really going down the drain, lol. At the welfare office, they have a "welfare to work" program, much like DI's program... But they have restricted it to people with children only (don't have any, lol). And even that, the Governor is trying to have that program canceled, to save on budget costs... Which I personally think is counter productive. hmmm..... A lot of people told me try R.O.P., because that place used to have like a dozen training courses for free. Even thing slike Medical Billing and Coding. So I checked their website, and state budget cuts have limited them to only things like "welding"... I went to the employment offices, like my dad suggested (both LDS and regular state employment office). But except for some resume building and interview workshops (which I might do, just to help with confidence), they mostly just point you to the computers, and have you do internet job searches, which I can do from home. I guess its a good place for people who don't have a computer though. Wow, sooooo much has changed from the budgets, let me tell you... My dad said when he needed help 8 years ago, all those programs had SEVERAL vocational training and placement assistance opportunities. They used to pay your gas to the training or classes, pay for the schooling, buy your uniforms and tools (like if you wanted to work in government jobs, or construction or something). They did a lot to get displaced people trained up and ready, back in the day. But now there is almost no funding for them to do this with... Sad, really. If the church still offers something like that, then I'm gonna jump all over it! lol. I think the church probably has better funding than a lot of state programs, because they don't depend on state budgets. I believe they use things like tithing, or fast offerings, or maybe profits from their thrift stores and the mall and such, to keep their programs going. And that's a little more dependable. Then it gets circulated too, because when they hire you in the thrift stores, or help you get placed anywhere else, you pay tithe with your income later. So its a pretty good self-supporting system they have going. Pretty smart, I think.