Melissa569

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Everything posted by Melissa569

  1. Well, sex kinda plays a part, but less than half of it. Its mainly the fact that we really have no common interests, goals, or subjects of conversation. Not sure if I agree with Mr. Kimball, though... I do think it matters who you are with. True, there are no perfect matches-- just the fact that you are different genders, who grew up in different homes, means there will be a world of contrast in your personalities. But there are people we are more compatable with in comparison to others. I mean sure, I guess if I emptied my head of most thought, numbed my heart to most emotion, and walked around with a neutral expression on my face, I could force myself to "tolerate" living with just about any man. But I don't think we were placed here to stagger through life, as impartial zombies, lol.
  2. After 15 years of not attending church (I‘m baptized), I stopped by our local church last Sunday. They said I should be with the 9am ward next Sunday, so I’ll be doing that, and joining their ward. I’ll be attending regularly, to try and figure out what direction my life should be headed in. I know I’ll need to speak to the bishop and all… But there is a matter in my marriage I feel I will have to bring up with him, because it could determine weather a divorce is in my near future. And I think that’s an important subject. I just don’t know what to expect from the bishop... So here’s the deal: As I said, I was baptized when I was a child. My husband believes in God, but he's never been a memebr of any church. Anyway, I feel sooooo guilty, because I often find myself wishing I were single, or maybe even with someone else. Its because my emotional and companionship needs are not being met in our marriage. My husband is very simple-- all he needs is the occasional quick.. ya know… We’re talking maybe once or twice a month, not to be crude. And maybe dinner cooked and the house cleaned-- and that's it, he’s happy! Even that much, he can take it or leave it. But I, on the other hand, am a very deep, passionate, communicative and emotional person. I’m extremely romantic, and I think the best parts of life are the moments you spend with your significant other! Hubby and I have very little in common, other than the fact that we still love each other. We’re not very intimate, hardly ever talk, and there is pretty much no romance. He just doesn’t need it. I’ve considered leaving my husband many times over it, even though I will always love him. He simply doesn’t desire the things I do, he’s not interested in them. And he wouldn’t be with any other woman either. My attached feelings of love are keeping me with him (he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything!). But its very confusing and causes tons of stress. I’ve told him how I feel many, many times. He gets upset when I say I’m not happy with him, but he always forgives me for saying it. He‘s just not the close, romantic, intimate, communicating type. But ignoring this problem is not very fulfilling, and it doesn’t resolve anything, or get us anywhere. I don’t know what the church does with people who get divorced… I don’t know what they would expect me to do, when my husband is just not the kind of guy I need. And I really don’t know if he ever could be. A person either wants those things in their life, or they don’t. I can’t make him, lol. We’ve discussed this problem for the past 5 years, until I was blue in the face. I've tried bringing home improved marriage/intimacy books, CD's, DVD's, games, etc. And every method imaginable for introducing the ideas and activities to him. But nothing ever changes. I love my husband to death, and it kills me to think that it won't work. But I'm at my wit's end. So besides the obvious “Well, that’s why you should be more careful who you marry…”, what do you think bishop would say about all this? Or should I even bring it up? EDIT: Due to one of my replies below, It hink its also important to mention that my husband does have a VERY serious gambling problem, which keeps us apart alot, because he's always at the casino. Even at home, he tends to withdraw intot he computer, in a free online poker game... This too is extremely tasking on the marriage... He only learned to play poker after our first year and a half together, and before that, we didn't have half as many relationship problems. Still some, but nowhere near as bad.
  3. There is a HUGE difference between culture, and religion. So I guess it depends weather having long hair is a cultural practice, or a religious one. If it is a cultural practice, then you should be allowed to keep the long hair. And there would be nothing wrong with making an exception for such cultural practices, because there would be a ligitimate reason for doing so-- as apposed to letting someone keep it just because they prefer the style; that's not a legitimate reason, I don't think. But if its a religious practice... A mormon missionary's job, is to represent the mormon faith. Not another faith. Now, you can value and keep some native beliefs if you want to, that's up to you. I myself think that every positive religion carries useful and valuable teachings. But a mormon missionary represents the mormon church. He/she should be an ultimate example of all other mormons. So if your religious beliefs outside the mormon faith are preventing you from cutting your hair, then you are probably not the best candidate to be a mormon missionary. Of course, you don't have to be a missionary if you don't want to. You could just be an active member. That's always an option. Just my opinion.
  4. Thanks for the welcome everyone. I spoke with my husband today, and he said if he can manage a sunday off, he will come with me!! Yay!! :) I was surprised to hear him say that, but you know they say "the family that prays together, stays together".
  5. Thanks everyone. :) My uncle John is well known in the priesthood over in the next town. I called him and told him I wanted to join a local ward. So he called around and found out which church I'm supposed to go to based on where I live. I went there today (second ward at 1:00pm), and spoke to the bishop. It was such a nice church, and it was great to be back! But the bishop said that because of the particular section of town I live in, I'm supposed to attend the first ward, at 9:00am. He did however invite me to stay and listen to everyone's testemonies and meet a few people. Everyone was really nice there! So I guess next sunday, I will go at 9:00am, and meet "my" bishop and ward. I can't wait to feel like I belong again, I already feel like I made a positive move. One of the members there got up and did a testemony, which really hit home for me-- he said he was born into the church, but for the past 20 years, he never went. Then he returned a few months ago, and its made his life a lot better. He said that during the years he did not attend, he figured (like I did) that church was just an over-glorified counselling session, or a support system-- one that he did not need. But his attitude changed after he ran into some difficult times. Its was practically my own story! lol. After sacrament, I stopped that man in the hallway and told him how I felt. He is the one who introduced me to the bishop and all. So I really felt like I did the right thing by going in there today.
  6. Ok, I haven't been to the LDS church since I was 12 (I'm 28 now). I am baptized though, that happened when I was 8. Tomorrow, I am planning on going in and attending church for the first time in well over a decade. I plan on joining this local ward, but I wanted to know... What all do I have to do? What will happen? I probably won't get a reply so soon tonight, but just hoping :) I just want to know, should I ask to see the bishop? Should I do it as soon as I get there? Or after the temple gathering? How will I know where to go? (I know after the temple gathering, everyone splits up; the children go to primary, teens go to young mens/womens... Don't know where adults go though, particularly married ones, lol. That's new territory for me). The last time I was there, I was a kid, and everything was different... Help?
  7. My name is Melissa. As of August 2009, I am 28 years old. I'm married, but we don't have kids. I attended the LDS church until I was 12, and then my parents divorced. I didn't go at all, while I lived with my dad. He has lots of faith, but never was a church person. I recently decided to start attending my local LDS church again. My husband is from India, and his father was Catholic, while his mother was a Hindu. So his faith is a mix of the two. He does respect all positive religions, but he probably won't be attending church with me though. He works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week (including Sunday). But he wants me to go because he thinks its a good idea for me to have a support system, and decent, level-headed people to spend time with. Anyway, just wanted to join this forum, because I hang out online a lot and I would like to network a bit :)