ascotan

Get used to it. Especially if your husband's family is not of your culture you will be considered rude by not participating. Go over with a big smile! Let her in and chat! I know it's annoying, but yes, you did marry his mom too.

It sounds like both you and your husband had troubles from the start (precipitated by finances?) and it never got better. At this point my guess is that there is alot of mutual recrimination and fighting that the children are exposed to. Clearly your husband sounds depressed, and in his own weird/twisted way, is asking for some sympathy with the "i'm gonna kill myself" line. Unfortunately, bringing a gun into the house is also a veiled threat. You do have a reason to worry whenever weapons are in the house. However, (as i'm sure you know), if things get too heated, anything can become a weapon. Having stayed together so long it seems there is a grain in both of you that you want to work things out but never quite figured out how to do it. And now it feels too late? I gather that because on the one hand your telling him to get out, then you find him looking for jobs/women/etc and get upset.... I also believe that you think that once you are divorced there will be a great husband waiting for you out there (like the remarried woman you mentioned). It could be. There are never any easy answers. However, one thing is clear. Both of you need to make a decision as to what direction your lives are going to take in the next couple of years. Do you see yourself married in 5 years with the same man you are living with now? Does he? IMHO it's never too late for any relationship. However, you need to decide. What will you do? Discuss it. Talk about it. Make it a priority what you will do. If you find that the kernel you still have for him is viable, then make that decision. If not, then talk about it and make the necessary plans. Whatever you do, don't keep ignoring the future. Either way I would suggest you keep in contact with rational people that can help you make decisions. Everybody's situation is unique and you are ultimately the best qualified to make decisions for yourself.

My guess is that: 1. your husband has worked up to prostitutes from other things 2. your husband wants to stop and be a good man but doesn't know how 3. your husband feels terrible about himself and possible feels that he doesn't deserve you or the children Men can be very stubborn. I think family services counseling would be a great start.

Your being selfish. Get over it. I married a woman with children. Obviously she had sex before we were married. I on the other hand never had sex before we were married. In fact, my wife had sexual relations with a boyfriend that she had just before we started dating. The reality is that it's her problem. She needs to have dealt with it with the Bishop. If she has done that already then forget about it. Your wife will come to realize what a special and unique person you really are. She will love you for your dedication and sacrifice for her. She probably also feels bad constantly about her actions and behaviors because she wanted to be as faithful as you were but didn't do it. Stop rubbing it in! If you bring it up or dwell on it, it's because YOUR pride is hurt. Get ride of your selfishness. Let go of your childhood posters of molly mormon, the girl who waited for you since she was 14 years old. Understand that we are all human and we make mistakes. Leave what is in the past, in the past. Both of you have a future together. If you love your wife, and she loves you, and any past sins have been dealt with, then you should focus on your future together. She may have sinned in the past, but if you don't forgive her - it's your sin to carry around now. Drop it! Let it go! My wife tells me periodically how sorry she was for the mistakes of the past and how lucky she is to have me now. I never bring it up because I know it hurts her. I'm not the bishop and my job is not to make her confess her sins to me. I'm her husband, it's my job to love, protect, and provide for her. Over time you'll come to realize that the love you have for each other is the most valuable thing you can have, and that it's not worth being ruining because of pride or selfishness.