maureenjscott

Thank you to all who have commented in support or otherwise of my situation. I am trying to compile my arguement and write it all down as I know my emotions will take over on Sunday when I speak with the Bishop. Hopefully, I'll be able to check in here after and let you all know the outcome. mo x

Article of Faith : 12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

Just some musings on what i've read today.... Yes, I agree that it could be a distraction but as someone said, the more people doing it, the more 'normal' it becomes, it stops being a distraction and and becomes the 'norm' which is what it should be. I must admit my siblings and I always loved the national geographic when we were impressionable youngsters and now with the wide accessibility of the internet, those impressionable youngsters of today have potentially an unlimited supply of titilating imagery. As I have reiterated a few times, I am discreet and barely show anything, even when not feeding i'm conscious of neckline etc and endevour never to show much of anything. We are a small ward only 3 young men and believe me, they dont have to squint and stare at me in the hopes of catching a tiny glimpse of flesh when some of the young female adults (and the older ones) have far more cleavage on show and tight revealing clothes than i would ever dream of showing in public never mind at Sunday meetings. I think that if he uses modesty as an issue when we discuss this again i will enquire as to when he intends have the same meeting with these women and their parents/husbands/etc!! Also, as someone said before, my feeling is that if someone is getting something sexual from my feeding my son - is it not them who require counselling and not I? Thank you again for the positive and the negative comments, I have thought of nothing else since i returned home on Sunday and I'm quite sure it'll be all i can think about till Sunday again- better find half an hour to sort out Sharing Time tho! mo x

TopHat - you are awesome! All the thoughts i've had since Sunday and many more. thank you mo x

Yes, my husband feels this is entirely ridiculous also and has no intention of standing guard! Can you clarify what you mean by a 'modesty issue'? My feelings on this are that I am sealed in the Temple to my family and as such dress appropriately ie length of hem, sleeves, cut of neckline etc. I use a blanket to cover back/sides that may be exposed while feeding and my top covers the top of the breast - from what my husband and a couple of sisters i have spoken with have said - no inappropriate skin is on show and unless they are really looking to see they generally dont know i'm feeding my son other than the fact that the cover is in place. thanks m

Thanks Maureen. Thanks Gwen - I was concerned with this myself, a sister had had these problems and when I was speaking with her about it she could not have been more supportive of me. There was also a sister in my ward who was in hospital losing her unborn baby at the same time as i was giving birth, she came to me and expressed her support for me and my child and my breastfeeding (of course i realise that some people can say the opposite of what they feel to your face and may say something different to others but i feel very deeply that these sisters are genuine in there support). Off to read these as soon as i finish this post! thanks Tophat Spamlds - Yes, there is no 'Church Policy', however, the things i have found from the Church fully support women and encourage us to do this for our children as far as possible. Yes, culture has a lot to do with it and in Scotland the law has been amended to ensure that women here feel supported in this - I always thought that as members of the Church we need to adhere to the law of the land, how can i sustain my leaders when they are breaking the law? I assume they do not know they are breaking a law which is why i will bring this up with my Bishop on Sunday. I am not demanding that my ward comply with my comfort - they do not seem to have a problem - it was visitors to the ward who have taken issue with this... I would hope that they also raised the issue of the 20yo young single sister who, being rather curvaceous, insists on wearing tight, low cut, revealing dresses on a Sunday and who is arguably showing far more to the congregation than I am while feeding my son. Thank you - my main concern is in relation to this law - I am assuming that my leaders are unaware of it and so am taking copies of the Act to my Bishop this Sunday for him to read and provide copies for him to give to Stake Pres also. However, I was also keen to get an idea from other wards the 'norm' in there area. I believe I am the first in this ward to nurse as openly as i do (ie not in the mother's lounge!), at least in the 10 years I have been attending here. I have not visited any other wards so have no idea what goes on elsewhere in relation to this - i was hoping for some insight from other sisters as to what their experiences were. thanks again for all the input maureen x

Thank you to all who have commented on this sensitive topic. 24 hours later and I still feel highly emotional and increasingly angry about the situation. I will try and answer a few comments from things that have been mentioned. The Bishop in our Ward was called to the position a week before this happened, he states that the instruction is coming from Stake - they having been there the week before to call him to his new position - I cant help feeling that one of those three men visiting have taken offence as nothing has been said the previous 12 weeks when i have done nothing different. I use a blanket to cover any exposed skin at my back or side, the baby lies across me covering my front and the neck line of my top covers the top of the breast - even my husband is at times unaware that i am feeding our son. I do not see the necessity in covering up the child - this makes no sense to me and, in my opinion, i dont think it is comfortable for him. I do not nurse while Sacrament is being blessed/passed. As i stated, i am discreet, if someone is watching me nurse my child, surely they require counselling - not I? Wingnut - I am glad you have the facilities you have mentioned in your building, if only that were the case everywhere - even our stake building has a room no bigger than a toilet cubicle in which every nursing mother in the stake is supposed to use for instance during conferences! Sitting on the floor - no its not the end of the world, but i'm not going to do that when i'm in a perfectly good chair wherever my class happens to be at the time. As for expressing in a toilet cubicle, again no, not the end of the world, but i would be concerned with cleanliness/sterility etc. As for asking those around me if 'they' are comfortable or offended - as mentioned before, i am discreet and quite often my husband doesn't know i'm nursing, faffing about with a blanket etc just draws peoples attention to it! Your comment regarding my husband dealing with the other children - yes he could - but the Bishop has stated that when i am feeding, i am to do so in a specific room which has a window in the door and my husband has to 'stand guard' to make sure no one can see me!!!!:mad: Thanks Gabelpa - I have printed out copies of the Breastfeeding etc (Scotland) Act to give to my Bishop and for him to take to the Stake President advising them of the Law that they have broken. I will see what happens from there but fully intend to continue nursing as i have done for the last 13 weeks. Gwen - thanks for your questions. As mentioned higher up here, the Stake Presidency were in attendance at our Ward last week and this demand seems to have come from them. Bishop stated that the Stake Pres had asked him to have a word with us about it. I would assume that he is unaware of the Law on this and so have printed copies of the relevant Act to take to him this Sunday with a view to discussing it with him. I was too emotional and taken aback yesterday to be able to discuss it, I am angry with myself for not bringing up the law and for agreeing to his demands. Hopefully, next Sunday I can be prepared spiritually and emotionally to be able to speak with him and discuss the situation with him. Funkytown - I agree with your coment regarding the cringeworthy/distracting situation - and no i'm not like that woman! Also, I am the only nursing mother in the ward at the moment although another sister is due her first child in a few weeks and is planning to breastfeed - ideally i would hope to have a conclusion in one way or another so that she will be sure of herself and her options when it comes to it.

Hi. I was having a wonderfully spiritual testimony meeting until my husband and I were called into the Bishop's office after our meetings. I have a 13week old baby boy. I have breastfed him since he was hours old and for the past 13 weeks I have nursed him during RS meetings on a Sunday, RS activities, Sunday school class, Sacrament meeting (after the Sacrament part of the meeting ie during talks), Stake RS activities, and, as i'm a counsellor in primary, have nursed him during primary. The so-called 'Mother's Lounge' in our building is about the size of a toilet cubicle, attached to the ladies toilets. It has a sink, mirror, fold out changing table and a small fold down 'seat'. Basically making me feel like i'm relegated to a cupboard so I have not used this 'room' for feeding my son. I am discreet, I sit as far back in the room as possible. I have a 9yo son and 4yo daughter also and so need to be there for them during Sacrament meeting. I live in Scotland and the Law of the Land here states that any person feeding their child by bottle or breast up to the age of 2 cannot be asked to leave, move, stop or cover up - anyone attempting to do this is liable to be fined approx £2500. I have been a member for 8 years, sealed to my family for almost 5. I think of the members as my family. I have fed all of my children in numerous places over the years - restaurants, buses, trains, parks, cinemas, anywhere we have been and they have needed fed I have done so discreetly and without any fuss or issues from anyone. Imagine today my shock to be asked by my Bishop to stop feeding my son during meetings! Are there any sisters out there reading this who can shed some light on practices in your country/stake/ward/branch? Does anyone have any advice on how this could be handled? Both my husband and I have scoured the internet looking for the Church's take on this and what we can find is that mother's are supported and indeed encouraged by the Church to breastfeed - there are no guidelines as to where or when or how this should be done. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks for reading this maureen

I'll certainly try! lol thanks for all the kind words everyone, nice to meet you all, mo x

Hi Bini, I'm a convert myself and did find the whole thing a bit strange to begin with. My hubby was a member when we married and having been a returned missionary was already endowed. I remember asking him one day while i was doing the laundry why he was all secretive about the garments, his reply, "they're not secret, they're sacred". A few years later i was baptised and in September 2005, while heavily pregnant with our second child, he took me to the Temple to be endowed and for our family to be sealed. I remember being back at the accomodation that evening and getting ready for bed, both of us in our whitest of whites and knowing that it was right, an immense feeling of love and happiness. And, who's to say you need throw away all of your existing underwear!!!? I still have a small drawer of fancy stuff for 'special occasions'! Then the garments go back on before sleeping. I know of one woman whose husband is not a member and for whatever personal reasons they may have she only wears hers on a Sunday. Also, I have recently qualified as a nurse and find that hot and sweaty uniforms while bedbathing and eg in theatre are really not helped by having that extra layer and so it is my personal prayerful decision not to wear them at work. They have been excellent this last month though with the ridiculous amounts of snow that we've had, i've been very grateful for the extra layer!!! I think that once you have been to the temple and understand why we covenant to wear the garments, you will feel differently to how you do now. best wishes mo x

Hi there, I'm 29, pregnant with my third child due in 9 weeks. Been married for almost 10years. Been a member of the Church for 7years or so. I'm a member of the Glasgow Stake in Scotland. Looking forward to meeting likeminded peoples! thanks mo x

Hi, I'm quite large on top and find the chemise style (in poly-cotton) very comfortable both over and under the bra. I picked mine up at the Preston, England Temple Shop they seemed to have them in a range of sizes and this time i got petite rather than normal length as i'm short in the body, so i assume they would also have tall. Hope this helps Willow. Mo x