lostintranslation

bmwm5racer00: I just want to let you know that I am praying for you, and I am THRILLED to know that you are alive! It sounds like you have had a long road of sorrow in your short years, but really looking for help! It sounds like you have an amazing Bishop! Always listen to him, and the Lord's counsel like you are now. I really believe that you will be a missionary with so much insight and testimony to share, and worry that the Army would not be a positive thing for you at this time. Maybe there is a temporary job that the LDS employment center can help find for you to keep you busy, and then you would have some extra money towards mission expenses. Do you have a temple nearby? If ever you feel your mind racing with those impeding thoughts; go walk and read at the temple grounds if you can. Make sure to attend any LDS single's functions throughout the week to have a support system at this time. Please update us on how your doing, ok? God bless....

Thanks Pam! Yes I have, and he has always always reassured me that I shouldn't worry. He offered to give me all this passwords to his accounts if this made me feel more comfortable, but I don't believe I need to have those. He has told me that his older brother was addicted to porn growing up, and so he would lay it around in his room for him and his older sister to find. I am currently in counseling for this issue, and hope that will help as well! I sure do need it! Just hard to hear a guy say...No, i don't have a problem and not give them that suspicious look and the third degree! (

Here's my background: Married at 19 in the temple to my exhusband. That night he brought pornography into the relationship, and demanded sex constantly. Hide his pornography problem on and off for four years. Decided he didn't believe in God, and stopped going to church...abused my verbally and sexually. I decided to leave him at 23 and divorced him over a year and a half ago. Now, to put it mildly, I am pretty traumatized about the whole marriage experience and have severe trust issues with men. I have been dating a wonderful, supportive man in the church for about nine months. We have talked about marriage (he is divorced as well), but I can't help but think that all guys' are addicted porn and will cheat on me. I am really trying to trust him, and want to be married to him! I just don't know how I can stop making myself think he will treat me bad as well once the ring is on the finger! Always being hypersensitive about it being and issue and checking for signs that aren't even there. Help! (