MCHants

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  1. M has my passwords and access to my email, YouTube and other accounts - it actually makes life a lot easier (allows me to be slightly lazy). "... just go read that email they sent to my account". Most of the email in there is junk anyway Regarding boundaries with the opposite sex, what is appropriate is something I've thought about on and off a lot over the years. Essentially, I'd say I don't have 'relationships' with the opposite sex other than M (obviously excluding my Mum, Aunts, etc.) By this I mean I don't have 'girly friends' I hang out with, talk to, etc. That might sound a bit extreme perhaps but it's my preferred way of being. I of course work with and associate with many females of all ages in my work. I'm friendly, supportive, etc. to the maximum. If one of my colleagues was wandering to town for lunch I'd not hesitate to join her and chat and go pick up something to eat, etc. But, I would never meet with any female socially, either on her own or with a group where I was 'with' her as a friend - of my own accord. If M asked me to for whatever reason then I might. Having said that M suggested I could stop over at her single female friend's house when I was on a busines trip and I said no, as I didn't think it was appropriate (utterly trustable friend by the way). As you guys have stated above, I'd rather have M never worry for a second, in fact I'd rather have her think I was socially inept around other women ;} (Oh and I've just realised what/who the picture Eowyn uses is... thought it was familiar ehe! Sharp as a carrot I am sometimes!)
  2. Couldn't agree more, Simple and the truth. Oh and by the way, by what youre doing, you're already 'back', so it's perfectly natural to head over to sacrament with a 'hello again, I've just been away a while'
  3. I'm fortunate that M is great running the family money and I'm happy to go out working and earn what I can. She always puts out €10 week as 'spends', it's a bit of a joke as she knows I spend money as needed but leave her to look after the bulk of it, so she puts it out and says "there's your pocket money" while I make a joke to the little 'un about blowing it all on crisps, sweets and pirate tattoos In practice we have seperate accounts, I transfer the money that's left after mortgage and some bills. The rest I move into her account and I couldn't tell you how it gets spent from there. Food, school, etc. all just get magically paid. In truth as well this is the first time, in a previous life I lived with my girlfriends and ex-wife and I have to say they were clueless with money. To the point I had to look after every penny. I hated it, I prefer to leave M to run the family home and am thankful she's way better at it than me, we're never short at the end of the month (tight, sure!) and all the bills get paid. I guess to answer the questions - we handle finances through trust, I trust her to spend it well and she trusts me to earn more, hahah. You know what I mean though ;p Wisdom indeed, NEVER be secretive about money, if you find you have to then there's bigger questions and concerns. It would be so terrible to trust in faith and then discover your other half was not being honest. The rule there of course is the money you spirit away for birthdays, etc. But of course that comes from you pretending to buy your stuff but not doing (lunch, buses, etc.).
  4. There's some great articles there, I just read the Future of Missionary work, point 3 stood out for me. The Future of Mormon Missionary Work When I was investigating the Church my wife was adamant that no one from the Church, not members or missionaries, were allowed in the house. I always had to ask the missionaries to arrange meetings and lessons for me in the homes of other members. It was totally embarrassing and quite stressful all round, yet it became a blessing. How so? It was in part the connection to those that allowed me into their homes that helped me become strong in my testimony. This is the point that struck me from the article; Attending church before I was baptised and just being part of the Sacrament meetings, lessons, etc. just as 'me' was a wonderful experience. I learned that the Church wants you to engage in so much but forces nothing on you and that removed a 'scary' possibility that might have stopped me joining the Church. Visiting members in their homes allowed me to see what being LDS would mean day to day, not just the in-church perspective. I got to see real families living the gospel. On two occasions the youths in the families came in and I thought here we go, I bet they hate it when their parents do this. But no, they sat with us and expressed their own love for the gospel, I was shocked but filled with joy. To see these beautiful young women and friendly, outgoing young men with such high values and good character was inspirational. Fellowshipping meant that when I was baptised I was simply joining people I'd grown to love and respect, people who I already felt were my brothers and sisters. Consider the contrast, perhaps just being taught by the missionaries and attending Church, randomly (but warmly) being greeted by people. A completely different experience. Mark
  5. It's not stupid to ask something you don't know, it's stupid not to ask Yes is the answer. He is the deceiver after all. Nothing is too cunning, sly, underhand and bringing pleasure and joy are his ways if the path they are experienced on is one that leads you away from Heavenly Father. It may be confusing because it looks like he's doing 'good' but the intent is certainly not good. For those that he leads astray like this, and I bet we've all been there in one way or another, the wonderful thing is that the realisation we have and repentance we enact destroys all his efforts in a stroke and restores us to the love of our Saviour. Satan really is a loser all told, stick to the winning team Mark.
  6. Even before I was LDS I always thought it was my responsibility as the husband to work hard at my career and earn as much cash as possible in order to enrich my family's life as fully as I can. It always struck me that if there were hardships to be borne from working they should be on my shoulders and not my wifes. When I was married I felt exactly the same way and still do now. I see it as taking my place of honour in the world and now I'm LDS I see it as living up to the guidance of the Church. With regards to expecatations I will hold for my wife I always assumed that because I have an above average salary she would not work, as opposed to me, either for a time or permanently, when family came along. The responsibility for me here is to work hard enough to give her that choice, to stay at home or work. This is my expectation of her, that she will choose and that I will need to make sure she is in a position to choose. Beyond that I have no say. I can't make her stay at home and quit her career. If I had to make her do that then she really should't be doing so! Of course I do prefer the idea that my children would be looked after by my wife, I figure if she's someone I'd want to marry she's someone I think the kids would be blessed with being around after all. I do like the idea that I can work hard and fulfill my role as the 'breadwinner' and that my wife is free to be a homemaker (if that's her wish). However, having said all that I would be shocked if my wife didn't want a part time job at least, even if just while the kids are in schools / nursery. Perhaps not just for the money but for the fresh air, change of scenary and adult conversation. It is VERY hard looking after kids all day and break, even a working one, is to be advised. I readily admit if I was 24hrs doing childcare I would crack up :) Mark.
  7. Congratulations! Glad you got to have your cake and eat it :)
  8. Hiya All, Just a quick hello as I haven't posted at all on here. I'm Mark, living in Hampshire, UK and part of the Farnborough Ward. I was baptised about 3 weeks or so ago and so am still learning lots :) I started to write my journal over at Mark Geng and you're more than welcome to pay a visit and comment / critique what I write there. That's it for now, see you in the forums! Mark.