danaalex

yeah i think this one was from the church, i just can't recall if i paid anything for it or not. i got it soooo long ago! i LOVE it though!! there weren't too many people using their iphones or itouches in our ward when i started using mine. now, they are everywhere :-) kinda cracks me up!! but, i can't imagine going back to the quad and the manuals, and whatever else i was taking with me each sunday. PLUS, i love being able to reference a conference talk, and not having to search for a hymnal too!!

we have ipod touches and an iphone. we have the scriptures app on all of the devices. it includes not only the scriptures, but hymns, conference talks, manuals, resources, topical guide, dictionary, and more. i forget how much the app was, but it updates and those are free. so, if you have one of those devices already just get the app. i have a kindle app on the touches and iphone as welll, but i don't have anything from church coming through the kindle app.

What is the one thing about yourself that you are working on making better? Maybe you need to learn to love yourself again. Or being able to have trust again in a relationship. Do you have a fear of another failure. These are just examples. Why do you feel this is something about yourself that you need to work on making better. my marriage ended over a year ago. i mean it's been dying a slow death for about 8 yrs now, but it really did die in 2009. since then i have been constantly looking at myself and seeing what i can change and improve. unfortunately i also learned that i became the person i was because of years of abuse, not only spousal but also from family members. it was also there, i just never wanted to see it for what it was. having come face to face with the abuse and the affects it has had on me, actually gives me goals for self improvement. for awhile it was simply to stop telling myself that " i suck as a human being." in the beginning it was also getting up the courage to look someone in the eye, smile or say hello. tiny things but very big and very hard for me. in the past 18 mo, i have grown and changed a lot. NOW, my self esteem is much better. but my self worth still needs work. and it really is amazing how Heavenly Father works with us on these things. last week i went to RS temple night. i had taken a hard fall and thought my wrist was broken. so, i wanted to go to the temple to ask for healing and also, because i needed to really work on this whole self worth thing. i feel that i do the most growing in the weeks/ month after a trip to the temple. and now a week later it's amazing how much has changed. HF gives exactly what we need when we need it. so, i will continue to progress and learn and grow, and change and improve. we all can :-) lol Do you think you are more picky now compared to how you were when you were let's say 20 years old? Maybe picky isn't the best word... let's use more experienced and have a much better idea of what you will or will not put up with in a relationship. i thought that part of my loneliness and anxiety issues were related to being alone and being lonely. it never dawned on me that i could be feeling those feelings for any other reason. however, it felt like the more i tried to connect with people, especially of the opposite sex, the more anxious and lonely i felt. it was weird. i had this hole, and it seemed to get bigger and deeper the more i thought about trying to fill it. so, one of the answers i received after my trip to the temple was " to stop talking to anyone of the opposite sex." and i did. for one whole week i didn't talk to anyone that male. and by saturday ( so tues to sat) i felt like an entirely new person. and that hole that had been getting bigger and bigger, was suddenly GONE!!!! not there at all. and all of the anxiety attacks i was having, stopped completely. so, i'm basically not looking for or interested in anyone at all. i'm focusing myself on my kids, their schooling, and my volunteer work with deployed military personnel. and i feel better than i have in a VERY long time! If you were married and now separated/divorced do you enjoy this time alone? Do you feel like you are getting to know your true self again? Finding interests that were deep beneath which are coming back to the surface again. definitely. i wasn't allowed interests or hobbies that were my own before. i enjoyed things like knitting and i wasn't allowed to knit because he didn't like it. or if i got caught up in a good book he'd make me stop reading. if i wasn't at the gym, my activity wasn't worth the amount of time i was spending on it. so, now, i get to do what i want when i want. no judgements at all. unfortunately he uses my kids, so they keep tabs on my activities for him and then tell me that i'm spending too much time doing this that and the other........ that part is annoying. Do you miss being married? I'm not asking if you miss your ex/stbx-spouse, no I'm asking if you miss being married. i really did think i missed being in a relationship/ marriage. and i suppose on some level i do. but, my marriage was very very bad, from the beginning. so, i am not even sure what i would say i miss about it. we didn't talk, we didn't spend time together, he wasn't a member or even believe in God. he didn't spend time with us as a family. he wasn't very nice to me, didn't really like me or enjoy my company. i was ignored pretty much the past 5 yrs. i didn't challenge him enough, i wasn't exciting enough in bed, etc. so, i cant' think of anything i miss really. Looking at where you were 6 months to a year ago do you see drastic changes in yourself or subtle changes? oh my changes are HUGE and visible to just about everyone. they aren't all GREAT changes but you can definitely see them all!! i'll never forget the week after he moved out, my oldest daughter said to me " mommy you look happy today. you are smiling." even something like that, i had pretty much stopped smiliing. i would be out in public and people were always telling me to smile. i just didn't know how to. almost everyone tells me that the difference between now and a year ago are visible and palpable in me. though there are things like not eatting, that are also visible and not really good. but, it's just how i have to deal with some of this i guess.......... What is the one thing that you did or that happened in your previous relationship/marriage that you will never do again? i will never ever ever get involved with anyone that makes me think of my mother. someone that doesn't accept me for who i am, someone that believes that mistreating me is OK, or their right or in my best interest. once the controlling or judgemental behavior shows up, is my cue to TAKE OFF!!!!!! What degree of contentment do you feel now compared to 6 months to a year ago with your new life and future? as of this past week, i feel more content with my life than i have in a very long time. realizing that trying to fill a hole was making it worse was the best thing that could happen to me. i am very happy now. i look forward to my future!!! and i can't wait to see what Heavenly Father has in store for me ;-) What is the one thing that you learned about yourself that you didn't know was there? And how has it changed you in your day to day life? (example, you realize that you have a pulse?) i have realized that i am a lot smarter and more patient than i ever realized before. it affects my day to day life because a lot of my current situation really is a waiting game, and a head game for that matter. i married the master game player, and i have to be patient and on the top of my game to get through this with him. we have kids, so we will be in each others lives for a looooonnnnggg time!

i didn't finish the entire thread. i read to about the end of page 3. best of luck to you!!! and HUGE HUGS!!!!! . take care of yourself!!! xoxoxox i posted before reading the end, lol. taught myself not to do that from now on! i hope things keep moving in the right direction for you two!!