dahlia

So the other night I took our very young missionaries to dinner. I think the Church is taking them out of middle school these days... Anyway, I got a call tonight asking me if I would go with them on a lesson to someone nearby. Let's just say that after some questioning on my part (because I knew where this was going), I find out that the investigator is black (of course, they never ask me to go to anyone else) and a single mother (of course, because that just perfectly fits the narrative about what black women are [and yes, I know there are white single mothers, but white women aren't defined by single motherhood as are black women]. I debated if I should just beg off because I was tired from work, or if I should speak some truth and educate these guys. Well, I choose to educate. I tried to do it very nicely, recognizing that they are both young and not used to diverse populations. But I can.not tell you guys how tired I am of being asked to go see the black investigator, who is always poor and uneducated. No. Don't want to do it. These people aren't my friends. They won't become my friends. They aren't people I socialize with, they don't want to socialize with me. We don't have anything in common. Why, in name of all that's holy, do I, in one of the whitest states in the Union, have to meet every black investigator some Utah boy runs into? Do these people not understand that doing this appears as racist? It's not that I think these sweet boys are racist; I do think they don't understand what it looks like to the 'other' to be dragged around to all the other 'others' and never asked to meet anyone else. There's also something else. Many of the black people here come from Chicago as a number of (stupid, #*#*# lib communities) invited them down for the Section 8 housing and a better life in the cornfields. However, what most of them have done is to bring Chicago crime with them. You're aware of Chicago crime statistics, no? I live in a wonderful area where the UPS guy can leave your package at the door, where people are friendly and hard working, and then there are... the Chicagoans. It's like the worst of Philly (where I lived for years) dropped into a sea of innocents. I don't care if the investigator is a woman. The Chicago people brought their female criminals, too. And if the woman isn't a criminal, her boyfriend is. I know you good people will say I'm exaggerating, but unless you've lived in a big city with a majority black criminal element, you have no idea how real this is. And if you want to say everyone can change, perhaps, but they can do it without me. At 63 and living alone, I don't plan on being anyone's victim. I know we are children of God and all that, but I just don't want to meet with these people. I told the missionaries that I would be happy to meet the investigator if they ever get her to church. Obviously, with this attitude, she is probably better off without me anyway. Was I wrong to tell the elders my real reason for not wanting to meet their investigator?

I work on a smoke free campus. That's supposed to include outside of doorways and at bus stops around campus. I regularly use a particular entrance for one building and the smokers are lined up near the top of the driveway into the building (they can't get too close). I can only hope they are not doctors and nurses. I don't think smoking is a thing of the past; it's just hidden. I also lived in Seattle for years and all the tourist literature said what a healthy town it was. Actually, I saw more people smoking there than I did in cesspits like DC and Philly. My stepfather died from lung cancer. Of course we asked him to quit over the years, but nope. My mother says she is down to 3 cigarettes a day. Big deal. What do you want, a medal?

This is Church related to me, but if you need to move to General Discussion, fine. Two questions: 1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? For those in Utah, does Starbucks have a big selection of non-coffee drinks there? 2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.? These days I only seem to entertain LDS, but I wondered about those who entertain a wider audience and what they do. We have a bunch of hospital/med school department heads in my ward and I've heard that some will provide liquor for department parties because other people will expect it. I understand that, but wonder what most people here do. For example, I see enough people from the ward when I go grocery shopping, I can't imagine having someone see me with a bunch of liquor bottles in my basket. And yeah, you can say we shouldn't judge and all that, but I'm sure people do. At the very least, they will be curious why Sister Dahlia has bottles of Johnny Walker along with the tofu.

I have had window units most of my life (I have central air now, thank goodness. There does seem to be difference). They do the job well, but you may need 2 if your space is big. I lived in one place where I only had 1 in the bedroom and in Philly's heat, me, my son, and our rabbit would sleep in my bedroom because you just couldn't function in the heat and humidity and get up for work/school the next day. They are a lot cheaper than they used to be, and quieter too. Even with central air, I keep curtains drawn and use the ceiling fans that are in every Midwest home. Love the fans, but need the AC as well.

Yes, I can. I think Jesus would be ecumenical and wouldn't want to offend anyone. My 2 cents. As for President Monson, I have no idea. He's more steeped in Mormon theology than I am. Also, guys - I ask a little question and when I come back people are arguing and apologizing... what the heck?

Never been to a Methodist church/community. I have no idea what they eat. I grew up Catholic, where it was pretty close to a sin to even go into another church, unless it was for a funeral or a wedding. You weren't supposed to take part in the service and you sure weren't taking Communion.

I watched 'Conspiracy' the other day and am watching it again. Actually, it is so dialogue-driven, I listen to it like an old-time radio show while I do other work. I'm working on my journal column, writing about using the Institutional Review Board for human subjects research. I wanted to use some historical examples of 'bad' research, such as the Tuskegee Syphilis experiment and Milgram's obedience study and went online to get some citations. Well, it turns out they recreated Milgram's study in Poland recently and got the same results - people obey, even when they are harming another. So, in terms of 'Conspiracy, ' it is very interesting to me. These were mostly smart men, driven men, who in the name of obedience to a cause, and in their blind antisemitism, had no problem creating the Final Solution. It is a fascinating film. It makes one wonder what one might do, given the 'right' circumstances.

Hmm. I was just asking an idle question, but this is something to think about. I guess if we say the Church is true, then perforce, all others are false, still, I don't know if I would go so far as to say that taking Communion with the congregation is offering a sacrifice on the altar of another religion. But... I'm not going to say that it isn't, either. I'm going to think more about it.

Yes. I didn't even think of that. I was just wondering if it was theologically taboo to take communion elsewhere. I'm not sure I agree with others that there would not be a spiritual benefit to it, tho. I think receiving the Sacrament is always beneficial and I was glad to take it before I was baptized LDS. And I chose 'Methodist' because it was the first thing that came to mind.

Are Mormons allowed to 'take Communion' at a non-LDS church? For example, if you go to a Methodist church with a friend, can you have Communion?

Girls? You mean women? And every woman who goes to work, tries to tell a doctor who thinks she's 'imagining' her symptoms, or is told she shouldn't do this or that because she is a 'girl' is affected by feminism.

Guilty as charged. I think I write the amount 1st, because that's what I'm thinking of, and then the dollar sign. But I only do it informally, I wouldn't write it that way for work or an article. As I guess you know, I'm not a millennial. I didn't go to public school, and trust me, I had the benefit of much parental correction. Maybe I'm an outlier. My old lady rant is the inability of people to recognize the difference between 'lose' and 'loose.' You did not loose 10 pounds. Good googa mooga. Where's the death penalty when you need it?

Are you kidding? Do you know which party was the party of segregation? Of the Klan? The South is/was full of Democrats who flew the Confederate flag. Blacks continue to vote leftist because they are ignorant of the history of political parties in the US and think the Democrats are on their side. I'm not one of them.

Getting the gun issue out of the way first, my son said his dream is to have a weapon in every room. We're working on it, even tho we live in Iowa. Not a lot of crime, but there is some. It's easy to get concealed carry. The police at the university where I work carry weapons. The rule was changed to allow this after VA Tech. Students aren't supposed to carry, but the legislature is working on changing that. Apparently the univ admin hasn't read the news about shootings on campuses around the country. I'm not going to be a victim because some leftist doesn't understand the Constitution. So, Iowa is probably the last place on earth where I thought I'd live. A good thing about it is the people - friendly, hard working, literate, just nice to be around. It's also cheap. We've got 3 properties between us and will buy more when I retire. We'd never be able to do that in Seattle (where we lived before coming here and which I love) or the east coast (where I'm from). I don't eat meat now, but I did when I first moved here; they have some great meat out here. I had to get used to the county beef and pork producers having a big grill outside the grocery store. People like the little stuff - homecoming, first day of school gets in the newspaper, the county fair, etc. My UPS boxes stay on my front until I come home. I'm glad I'm here (don't ask in Jan & Feb, tho, 'cause it gets right cold and snowy then).

I used to have more free time and was happy to see my RS sisters and do VT. Now I'm working a full week, and living alone, my 'free' time is spent doing laundry, going to the grocery store, batch cooking my meals for the week, making lunches, cleaning house, etc. None of that is done for me, as it much of it is for the men in the ward who work. I'm lucky to make it in to church. I told the bishop I can't take it any more. No more VTs coming in and no more me going out to VT. Maybe when I retire, but not now. I had a visiting teacher who was so sweet and would send emails and phone calls; we got along great. And even tho we asked to stay with each other, apparently I have a new VT I haven't heard from yet. If your family is OK with emails or cards, etc. just do that. Maybe they're happy to say 'hi' at church. You can't make people do what they want to do.

This is an early iPod, no games that I know of. My music is old too, actually from Napster and other such sources, as well as paid for music from iTunes and amazon. You can make non-apple music sources into music that's readable on an Apple device, but it takes a few steps that I have to relearn every time I do it. : ) Does anyone know if I can just transfer the music to an external (PC) drive in some way, so that if I have to reload it another device or after getting a new battery, I have it? Or, can I load it back into iTunes or some other service to park it for awhile? #*#(%(% Apple...

Fatima - You may want to read 'Catholic Roots Mormon Harvest' by Eric Shuster. He covers Catholic and Mormon theology (in a readable manner), where they are similar and where they diverge. It's been a few years since I've read it, but I recall finding it useful when I was investigating Mormonism.

Ser?anto - I hear you. Many of the things that attract you to the Church attracted me and many of the issues you have with doctrine and religion, I had as well. I am a convert of 5 years, gave lessons for about 2 of them (can't believe they trusted me to do that!), consider myself fairly active and struggle, struggle, struggle. And yet, I love the Church. I had to stop myself from crying when I signed on and saw that President Monson has stopped attending meetings. I enjoy the fellowship I have with people in my ward and am so appreciative for what members have done for me and my non-member son. That said, I have issues with everything from the role of women (I don't need them to be priests, tho), to tithing when times are hard, to sexual repression, to stuff I don't talk about much, like eternity and the existence of an afterlife. One of my missionaries told me I was the most difficult investigator he ever had. Of course I was. Read my posts. But I believe in the basics - Jesus and God the Father, that the Church is true (even if Joseph Smith was wrong, lied, whatev, it doesn't matter to me, the CHURCH is true). I believe in baptism for the dead and feel joy that, if there is an afterlife, people can still hear the gospel and be saved. I have never met a group of people who, as a whole, are so nice, positive, family-oriented, and friendly to the stranger, including me when I first joined this group as an investigator. Give it a try. Go to some meetings. Hang out with the men (I think you're a man; hand out with the women if you aren't). Go to some social events. Be open. You might just like it - and you might feel your spirit change. Mine did.

If I'm a spirit, I'd just like to roam around and see things. Hang out with people without them knowing. I guess I'm a bad person; I don't want to preach the gospel for eternity.

I hate Apple with a passion. I don't believe in bringing politics into the classroom, but I admit to railing against Apple when I taught policy (I'm in a 'STEM lite' field with a lot of geeks, so we'd have these conversations). However, years ago I was talked into buying an iPod. I love my little iPod, but it dawned on me that the battery isn't going to last forever - and apparently Apple makes products that, when the battery dies, you have to get a whole new machine. Wha? So, I need to know: 1. how long might the battery last? I think my iPod is from 2008/9. 2. how can I transfer my music somewhere so I don't lose it? I should probably do this sooner rather than later. I've had some bad experiences with downloading or transferring music from my devices and having data protection stopping me from transferring content. 3. I have no idea what the new small personal music players are. Will I need to get another Apple product to transfer my music over? Life was so simple when I just listened to Napster.

I have to admit, when I learned about this in Sunday School as an investigator, I wasn't happy. I don't really want a job in the afterlife.

I guess it depends on what kind of frozen food. I've been using an Instant Pot for over a year and put in frozen corn for chili (I'm sure I've put in something else, but it eludes me at the moment). Also, I think I've seen videos where people just dump in frozen meat, like the bags of chicken tenders or thighs. If you want a new taste sensation - try an air fryer. Good googa mooga. I've made everything from chicken tenders for my son, to cherry pies and a cake in it. Great corn on the cob, and good veggie food. It's an amazing appliance. As for mowing lawns...that's why God made men. Hey, I never said I wasn't a traditionalist.

President Monson's voice sounds so different...

In my doctoral program, we all wore a red robe w/ermine collar, a crown, and had a scepter after we defended our dissertations. I avoid having pictures taken, otherwise, I'd share. Personally, I found it a natural state for me to be in and am surprised I don't dress that way more often.

My mother never talked about houses or cars (I didn't drive, so that would be pointless), but she does talk about education and jobs. "So and so's daughter is a doctor at Georgetown. Why are you in Iowa?" Or, "Can you believe that X left her attorney job to make candles?" (true story) and the ever popular, "Why hasn't Son-of-Dahlia finish his dissertation yet?" When I mentioned that my DIL's brother was getting married, she wanted to know what kind of job the spouse had. Spouse is a hairdresser. You could hear the disdain in my mother's voice, as if I had said the spouse was a stripper. Or a Democrat. (OK, that would have been my disdain...) Everybody's got issues. I just tune 'em out.