Hi :) I'm Susie, and I'll try to make this as short as possible. I believe in the church after meeting with the missionaries for a very long time. I just know in my heart that it is the right thing for me. However, I've run into a few snares along the way.
First of all, I finished all the discussions, had my baptismal interview and had a scheduled baptism. Well, my mother flipped out over my joining a "cult" and I didn't show up to my baptism. I apologized but felt so bad and was worried everyone at church would be mad at me. They weren't...they were all very nice when I went back.
Well, on my first Sunday back after this event, one person wasn't overly nice. A lady took me to church and she commented on my facial piercing (a small Monroe for those of you familiar with piercings). I got the piercing in honor of a friend who died and was very offended when she mentioned I might want to take it out after I was baptized. I also got several disdainful looks at my feet for wearing flip flops. Needless to say, I was very offended. I haven't gone back to church since, because I didn't really want to associate with people who would be so judgmental. I don't think God cares about our outward appearances but the mormon church certainly seems to.
The relief society president found me on Facebook and invited me to lunch to talk about what had happened. I am willing to do this as I miss the church, but...what next? Would I have to go through all of the discussions again in order to be baptized? What if I decide to come back at a later date; do I have to take every discussion once again? I'm also worried I won't find a place where I fit in in the church. I'm not going to take out my piercing or not wear my flip flops just because of what other people might think of me.
Also, I have a lot of antimormon friends and also sometimes visit exmormon.org to find out more about the religion. The people there keep saying that once I'm baptized, the missionaries will drop me, and that most of the other members will sort of forget about me. I don't want to join and then feel like I have no one who cares at church I'm feeling very confused and sad. I really thought this was a positive change in my life and that i was on the right track. Now it feels like a mess
