Windseeker

Hi Investigator, I had some thoughts as I read about your concerns. I found this and thought it was relevant. http://mormonhistory.org/content/view/458/110/lang,en/ Members of the LDS faith believe the same as you do "In contrast God also has a way of “weeding out” those who may have fallen short of his will or those who have used the authority as a tool for their own agendas." We believe that it's a pattern well laid out in the bible that revelation comes thru prophets to the people. Amos 3:7 - Surely the Lord God will do nothing, abut he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. Each of us are entitled to personal revelation and can be touched and inspired. There are countless examples of such ie. John Milton, Victor Hugo, William Shakespeare, The writers of our Constitution, Christopher Columbus, Newton, C.S. Lewis, Charles Darwin, Confucius,Emerson, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King..etc But while all of these were great men they did not receive the blessings the Lord would have for them as members of his true established church. In this life they were not given the gift of the Holy Ghost and the promise of constant companionship that you receive as a member of the Lords true church. I feel I’m given more as a member of his organized Church then others are simply because I’ve placed myself here. It’s like I’ve left the stairs and gotten on the elevator of truth. I’m lead by a Prophet of God and there are Apostles on this earth who give inspired talks and council directly from God. I not only have access to my own revelation and heavenly guidance but also to be directly blessed by revelation on my behalf given to other worthy people such as hometeachers and Bishops, and Elders Quorum presidents. I have opportunities to receive inspiration to serve others. God has placed these people in my life and by being a member of his true church I'm better placed to get the guidance and assistance my family and I need One of my favorite Quotes – Ralph Waldo Emerson (May 25, 1803 – April 27, 1882)

Hi deniallady, I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have been in your place and know how you must be feeling. I'm now divorced and remarried and have primary care over our 4 children. I remember my wife at the time telling me that she no longer had any say in what direction she was taking. She was out of control and there was nothing she or I could do. The guilt she felt over what she had done and was doing was too much for her to face and she ended up leaving the family. At that point I had to make a decision for the kids. I hope it doesn't come down to that for you but it seems like he's well on the path. Stay strong, falling apart leaves the kids without anyone. Hang in there. The church is amazing and wonderful. The pain and stress were so great sometimes it was all I could do was to focus on my breathing and the fact I was alive. Remember to breath and be grateful for each breath.

I'm sorry you have to experience this. In the end we answer the Savior on our own. I'd recommend working on your communication with her, not judging and doing what's right. Don't think for a second you're truly alone, if you've read some of the posts on this board you'll know there are many who's spouses have left the church, are inactive or were never members. You are commanded to love her. That's all you can do. Patience and Longsuffering. While minor compared to what others go thru, I have need to take my own advice as I'm going it alone when it comes to Family Prayer and Family Home Evening.

How do Mormons Reconcile an All-powerful God & Suffering?

http://www.lds.net/forums/lds-gospel-discussion/36318-polygamy-questions.html This has some good information

My heart goes out to you brother. I've been in your shoes and I know the weight you shoulder. I hope you focus 100% on your chitlins cause they will need it. My advice is to get your ducks in a row which it sounds like your doing. I would also recommend getting a key logger installed on your computers. It's a little program you install that a certain key combination will bring up the interface and you can obtain passwords and chats as well as see the browsing history. Keep all this information to yourself until you're ready to pull the trigger. When you are I'd recommend that you try to arrange for your kids to stay with family while you go thru the process. One thing that helped me was prayer, yoga and meditation. Remember you're alive and take one breath at a time. Just breath and you will get thru it.

Sounds like this guy ...If that's the case only He-Man can help you. If your really concerned I'd contact an LDS Bishop

My belief is that once you are married it's time to let those opposite sex relationships whither on the vine and focus your attention and needs on your spouse. It's pretty simple anything else are just excuses to play on the edge of the abyss.

Thanks for the advice. It helped me gain allot of insight.

We don't have children together and the Mom is thousands of miles away and not involved that much. It seems my wife views the kids as extremely dirty and that bothers me. It’s also difficult because we have one of her nephews living with us and she seems to favor him, shows more love and patience then she shows my son who’s much younger. I understand why she loves her nephew more, she has known him much longer, but she married me knowing I have kids and I was hoping my youngest son would get some motherly love and patience. I worry about him. It seems her harshness leaves him depressed. I have spoken to the kids about her to try to help them understand how she is different and to be patient with her. In private I've asked my wife to please follow the advice in the D&C "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;" I also don't understand her preoccupation with cleanliness but you know..I suppose I'm beating her over the head with scriptures and guilt. I appreciate the advice. I don't want to be divorced again.

Thanks for the quick feedback. I have the How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen & Listen So Your Kids Will Talk but have not read it yet. What about doing chores half way? We ask them to sweep the room and they do it halfway. We have to ask them to do it again and again. They leave dishes and messes in the kitchen and none of them claim responsability. Are my kids the only ones who do that?

I'm married (3 years) and have 4 kids (ages 8-16) from a previous marriage. My wife has been getting increasingly frustrated to the point of tears and threatening to leave because she feels the kids do not listen to her and feels they are totally selfish. I've been getting on her for her impatience and lack of nurturing. She also has a tendency to accuse them falsely for things. So I usually come to their defense as I understand them better. I've been parenting longer (16 years vs her 3 years) and seem to have more patience for the kids. But as I really look at things I realize they don't pick up after themselves unless asked and when asked to do so they complain. It's hard hearing this about my kids but after thinking about it I've come to realize they are more selfish then they should be. I assumed this is just all kids but maybe my behavior and their mother that left them (pure selfish reasons), taught them to be selfish. How do you teach your kids to not be selfish? I know it varies with age, but how young do you start and what do you teach and at what age?

I'm sorry about your situation. The only thing you can do is to exercise forgiveness and long suffering. He has to keep up the fight and needs your support. Your anger won't do anything for you or him. If he ever gives up the fight, it's time for you to focus on the children and move on. Every home should have OpenDNS even if your using K9 or Windows Live Family Safety. It's simple, free and it's just a setting on your router. Nothing to install. https://store.opendns.com/familyshield/

Im not getting a sense there is true Forgiveness. Its the most important thing in any relationship. When you truly forgive you truly understand that person which enables you to truly love.

I shared this post with my wife who' holds a PhD in Physiology, graduated from medical school and just finished her first year of an Internal Medicine residency. She told me the only difficult thing for her when dating was finding someone smart enough to hold a decent conversation with. I thought better of reminding her I only have a couple of quarters of community college under my belt and kept my mouth shut. I feel bad you had such an experience. My wife said she has never experienced what you went thru and has always been encouraged in her pursuit of education. Family and kids will happen don’t worry, we got 4 ages 8-16. I remember our first sacrament meeting in our new ward in Florida her first year of residency, watching the Bishop stand up and present an award to retiring female heart surgeon who had dedicated herself to service in third world countries. Keep it up and don’t be discouraged!

These groups are in every area. You can get help and support. Addiction Recovery Support Groups